“Please forgive me,” I say as I bury my face in my hands. “Give me a second chance…”
“…a second chance,” Cherie mirrors as she begins to pace back and forth frustrated.
She leaves down the hall shuts herself in her bedroom. It is probably for the best at the moment. She is upset, and although I know she wants to express it, all she can do is repeat what I am saying… I cannot even imagine how difficult that must be for her. I get up from the couch and stand just outside of the doorway of the apartment. I pick up my cell and say “Katharine, C-Shapes Field Office.”
“Ethan,” Katharine says as she answers the call. “Can I help you with something today?”
“I messed up… really badly,” I admit.
“Are you alright?” Katherine says, her voice becomes deadly serious. “What happened?”
“I forgot to make sure Cherie took her pill on Saturday—she was so excited and then she crashed… I screwed up the one thing I was supposed to do.”
“Is that all?” Katharine says as she sounds relieved. “It’s a rookie mistake, it happens. Just don’t forget—you’ll get docked. What state is she in?”
“Just very upset,” I say with a fleeting feeling of relief. I figured that such a mistake would be grounds for immediate termination. However, I was ready to take the punishment for causing Cherie so much pain
“Just make sure she eats, and… she is on a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday dosage right?”
“Right…”
“Yeah,” Katharine says as she continues, “You will have to force her to take her pill tomorrow—she will probably fight you on it… but you have to do it. It is not going to be a fun experience. At least it will remind you in the future to not forget.”
“Understood,” I say sadly.
“How was your date by the way?”
“It was extremely informative,” I say feeling rather awkward about the whole thing. “I learned a lot—she’s really been through the whole thing for a while.”
“But… not a connection.”
“Probably a little too intimidating for my tastes…” I reply, hoping that I don’t come off as offensive.
“I’ll put you back in the pool—don’t worry she won’t know.”
“Thanks,” I say as I do not really look forward to any future dates. “Thanks for the help here as well—I was sure I really messed things up.”
“You’re fine, and that is what I am here for. Be careful and have a good day Ethan,” Katharine adds as she disconnects the call.
I step back into the room and go into the kitchen. I find of the egg salad sandwiches and put it on a plate with some potato chips. I pour another glass of water and balance it on the plate as I make my way down the hall and knock on the door.
“It’s unlocked.”
I open the door; Cherie is curled up in a ball in bed. Tears are still fresh in her deeply sad eyes.
“Eat something,” I say as I place the plate beside her on the bed.
She slowly gets up and pushes around the food with her fingertip. “Is that an order?”
“It’s a… please eat something. I’m really sorry.”
Cherie reaches into my pocket and pulls out my C-Shapes badge. She eyes it as she turns it over and over between her fingers. She tosses it across the room. “I hate your job—it makes you break promises.”
“Sometimes I do to,” I say as I look away. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Cherie says as she begins to eat slowly. “I’m sorry that I slapped you.”
“I deserved it,” I say as I place a hand to my cheek. It is rather sore. I imagine I’ll probably grow a pretty nice bruise.
“I deserved it…” Cherie repeats.
I allow her to eat in silence as I sit and watch her. I am at least glad that she is eating. As she finishes he water and places the glass upon the plate I reach for it. She stops me and pushes my hand away.
“Just leave it,” Cherie says as she looks into my eyes.
When faced with those beautiful, sad, hazel eyes I find myself helpless—like someone adrift at sea. I have to look away.
“Would you come with me to visit Noah today? He has something of an emergency; I don’t know what is going on. I know it’s not a trip to Paris, and it is okay if you say no. I just… you’re supposed to come. He said so.”
“Do you care about me?”
“Of course I do,” I say as I nod.
“Why can’t you look at me?” Cherie asks as she reaches over and gently places her hand upon my face and pulls my vision up so that our eyes meet.
“I do not like to see you sad,” I say quietly. “I know that I did this to you, and I… I do not like to see it. It makes me feel like I am a terrible person.”
“You’re not,” Cherie says as she keeps her hand against my face. “I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you…”
“I was going to ask… in front of the Eiffel Tower—because I wanted it to be special. If you still do care… If I am important to you, I think here is just as fine. Would you kiss me?”
I pause. For a moment my heart feels as though it will stop beating. I know how wrong this is. I know the implications it could have on my career… on my future. However, I have fucked things up enough with Cherie that I simply nod. As she pulls me in our lips meet. Although dry and cracked, there is softness… wetness; a gentle calm comes—like being outdoors and relaxing on a summer day. An overwhelming feeling that this is right washes over me. It threatens to steal me away like grains of sand against the oncoming ocean tide. All once I realize… I have lost the internal struggle to keep my feelings for her boxed away. I have lost the battle between what I thought was right and wrong.
“Thank you,” Cherie whispers as she releases me. “It did not need to happen there… I guess it just needed to happen.”
“I will find a way to make this work,” I say she take her hand into mine.
“I’m different though—it’s not… allowed.”
“I don’t care.” I say as I nod and squeeze her hand reassuringly. “We have to go though… I was supposed to meet with Noah early.”
“Is this work related?” Cherie asks as she nods and gets to her feet.
“I think this is just Noah related. He has something important to tell me, it’s probably nothing… but I don’t want to let anyone else down.”
“Let’s go,” Cherie says as a smile crosses her face. As we leave the room I retrieve my badge from behind the dresser and shove it in my shirt pocket.
Cherie begins to roll her suitcase along with her.
“We’re just going out of town…” I say as I stop her.
“You helped me pack it—it seems right,” Cherie says as she continues to roll the suitcase out the door.
“I’ll get that,” I say as I pick it up and rush down the stairs. I start the car and begin to head out of town.
“You’re late…” Noah says as I enter his room.
“You said that to me the first time we met,” I say with a laugh.
“Is she with you?” Noah asks just as Cherie enters behind me, rolling her small suitcase.
“Yeah,” I add, stating the obvious. “We missed our flight to Paris after all.”
“Your badge…?”
“In the glove box of my car,” I say as I pat my pocket down. “What is this all about Noah?”
“Cherie, could you wait outside in the hallway for a bit,” Noah asks as he brings me to the corner of his room. “We need to have an important discussion and some of it you can’t know about yet—it’s secret stuff.”
“Secret stuff…” Cherie says as she looks at me and nods.
Noah shuts the door behind her and begins to pull up a section of the carpeting in the far corner of the room. “Can I trust you?”
“I believe so,” I say as I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know what you mean, but I…”