“My home, everything I knew—just gone. Just like that. I planned on returning when things had settled down.”
“We don’t have a home either,” Claire says as she reaches over the seat and holds onto Robert’s large hand. “We can never go back. You’re like us now and that’s not so bad. It seems like it at first… but it’s not so bad.”
Robert looks back once more and slowly begins to nod. “I’d be dead. Thank you.”
“We’d all be dead if you hadn’t been listening in on the radio,” I say as I attempt to keep him calm and collected. “Because of you, the mission goes on.”
“To the end,” he adds with a touch of confidence in his voice. “We don’t know what it is, but we follow it to the end.”
“To the end…” Claire repeats.
I check the map. I notice that we could be there in less than 7 hours… especially given the speeds I’ve been travelling—however I notice that it takes us way too close to Los Angeles. Therefore the route detours high and up into parts of Yosemite National Park. I contemplate attempting to make the drive straight through—to arrive there in one day. However, my mind tells me that going anywhere near Los Angeles is a bad idea. Our route already is going to take us to cities I would rather avoid, but to get to Morro bay it is a necessity—there is no other way. We will eventually run into areas with possible populations.
An emergency broadcast pops up on the dashboards as I cross over the border and enter California. A man wearing plain clothes is standing in front of a camera. He is surrounded by rolling green hills; he points down to the road and begins to speak.
“It is believed that American submarines, under the orders of the government have launched nuclear strikes against targets—so far what I’ve heard is that… New York, Chicago, Miami, Flagstaff, and Kansas City have been hit. As you can see here…” The camera pans over to show the view of a mushroom cloud rising into the air. “This is what remains of New York City. Moments after the president issued a warning that in the next few days, if Calm is not restored to the country that more strikes will happen… never in history has the United States detonated a nuclear bomb over one of its own populated cities… Today, from this day—I am disgraced to call myself an American. Countries around the world are on high alert as they fear that our President may strike out against them… why he is even still in power—perhaps he is not. It is not certain what is going on. We may never know. All I can add at the end of it all is… I never thought it would come to this.”
“Making peace in a glass house with a sledgehammer…” Robert whispers.
“What was that?” Claire asks as she looks to me.
“A nuclear bomb or missile… either way,” I say as I shake my head. “We don’t just have to get to safety… we have to get out of this country.”
“I…” Claire begins as she struggles. “I have a boat… I mean we had a boat.”
“Do you think it is still there?”
“Still there…?”
“Shit…” I say as I rest my head back against the cushioned seat.
“Shit…”
“We’ll just have to take our chances and see—we have to get whatever info you have out of the country—this place has gone mad,” Robert says as he looks nervously off into the distance. There is nothing there, nothing but some clouds. We have made enough distance that it is no longer visible—but I feel that he still expects to see it somehow.
I drive for seven hours straight—we eat our meals in the car. We only stop for minutes to use the restroom… which amounts to squatting by the car or in a bush. We reach Yosemite National Park just as the sun is starting to go down. We make camp beneath the shadows of Wheeler Peak and Patterson Mountain.
“Are we sleeping in the car?” Robert asks as I grab a blanket and hand it to Claire.
“Yeah,” I say. “Is that a problem?”
“I’m not so good with small spaces… you got a tent?”
“There’s one in the trunk,” I say as I get out of the car and help unload some of the camping gear.
“Isn’t… a tent a small space?” Claire asks as she steps out into the cool air.
Robert looks confused at Claire for a moment and then laughs and continues to set up the rather small tent.
“It is pretty here,” Claire says as she watches the sunset glow a brilliant orange against the mountain peaks. “I’d like to come back here someday.”
“It’s magnificent,” I say as I look at all the towering mountains that surround us. “If we didn’t have the case… maybe we could have stayed here for a while.”
“To the end though?”
“Yeah…” I say as I let out heavy sigh. “I suppose that’s… it. There could be another way though. I mean, it might be too late—what we’re doing. It could all be for nothing. Maybe we should stay here for a while,” I say, searching or some kind of answer to all of this. I know it seems wrong to think this way, but after everything we have been through—would it be too much to ask to not have to endure any further grief? I know it is selfish. I know it is giving up. Haven’t we done enough already? Is there even anything left to do? Is there even an end to follow through? “We’re heading into places that could be dangerous. We might not make it, and for… nothing.”
“You don’t mean that,” Claire says as she strikes against my chest with her fists. “Take that back…!”
“I’m sorry,” I say as I pull her close and she begins to cry. “I just don’t want to lose what we have. We’ve lost everything else.”
“If you give up… everything we’ve been through… all your friends that you have lost. It’s for nothing. You’ve come this far, you can’t do this—I’ll go. I’ll take it myself if you give up. Then you’ll have to follow me—you promised. I love you, Ethan—you can’t give up. I won’t let you.”
“What if we die? I love you. I don’t want this to end,” I say as I allow the fear of the end of the journey to consume me. When it comes down to it—it is the fear of uncertainty. The knowledge that tomorrow we will reach our destination. The knowledge that we will not know what we will encounter there.
“You said it didn’t matter, as long as we die together.”
“Well I’d prefer to not die at all.”
“Who is dyin’?’ Robert asks as he returns to the car—he has finally completed his tent.
“I just… had some doubts,” I admit. “I thought maybe we should stay here for a while…. I was wrong.”
“Can’t put it off,” Robert says as he shrugs. “We can’t live out here forever. Got to face what you fear someday—so why not tomorrow?”
“I know,” I say as I hug Claire tightly in my arms. “I just had a moment of weakness.”
“Stay strong soldier,” Robert says as he pats me on the back. “I’m getting some sleep. Apparently we have somewhere to be tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Robert,” Claire says as she hugs the man.
“Goodnight guys,” Robert says as he head off into the night.
Claire and I climb into the car and recline the seats back. She reaches over and holds my hand tightly.
“I’m sorry I got upset with you…
“I’m sorry I lost faith for a moment,” I say, feeling even worse than she must. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“I know you were just scared—but I rely on you to be strong.”
“I just hope I never let you down,” I say as I smile briefly.
“You haven’t yet.”
“We should get some rest,” I say as I hold onto her hand. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Ethan,” Claire replies as she squeezes my hand.
That night I dream of the ocean again. I am on a boat. It is nighttime—the ocean is wide and spread out far before me. The moon is full and reflects against the surface of the water. It dances in the gentle lulling waves. I am in awe of the view ahead of me. I never realized how big, how vast it all was. I suppose it makes sense—most of the world is covered in water. I just never had it put into perspective until now. I look down to my hand, I don’t know why I have not noticed it before, but the metal case is dangling from my right hand. I place it up upon the side of the ship and side my finger across it. It flashes in green letters ‘ready.’ I take a deep breath in and open up the case. Millions of pieces of paper fly out like birds into the night sky. They fill the air in blinding flashes of white in the glow of their ambit. As they disappear, each piece of paper turns into beautiful, shimmering star.