Chapter 10
Cain has no idea where he is, he can't tell if the donkey is taking him along one of the many roads of the past or along some narrow track in the future, or if, quite simply, he is trotting through some new present that has not, as yet, revealed itself. He looks at the parched earth, the thistles, the sparse scrub scorched by the sun, but parched earth, thistles and scrub are what one mainly sees in such barren places. There's not a road in sight, from here you could go anywhere or nowhere, as if the destinations were constantly shifting or had decided to wait for a better occasion to show themselves. The donkey is jogging steadily along, he seems to know where he's going, as if he were following a trail, or, rather, a confusing coming and going of tracks left by sandals, hooves or bare feet, that you have to study attentively if you want to avoid finding yourself going backwards when you thought you were heading straight for the north star. In the past, cain has been a would-be farmer, as well as a treader of clay, but he is now a diligent tracker, who, even at moments of uncertainty, tries not to lose the thread of those who have preceded him, regardless of whether or not they ever found a place where they could stop and say to themselves, I've arrived. Cain doubtless has very sharp eyes, but not so sharp that he can recognise his own marks among the many other tracks, the hollow left by his heel or the slightly scuffed print of his weary feet. Cain has passed this way before. He will realise this when he suddenly spots the remains of the ruined house where he once sheltered from the rain and where he will not be able to shelter today because what was left of the roof has fallen in, all one can see now are fragments of crumbling wall, which, after another two or three winters, will merge for ever with the earth from which they rose, earth to earth, dust to dust. From now on, the donkey will only go where he is told to, the days when he was the sole guide on this journey are over, or perhaps not, for left to his own devices, the memory of his former stable might be strong enough to lead him to the city that he left, who knows how many years before, carrying this man on his back. As for cain, he, naturally, has not forgotten the road to the palace. When he enters the palace, it will be in his power to change direction, to abandon the other presents awaiting him, both previous and future, and return to that familiar past for a day or two, possibly more, but not for all the remaining days of his life, for he has not yet met his fate, as we will see. Cain lightly touches the donkey's flanks with his heels, ahead lies the road that will lead him into the city, and there he will have no option but to drink whatever wine has been poured for him. Seen from close to, the city appears not to have grown, the same squat houses seemingly oppressed by their own weight, the same adobe bricks, only the palace rises above the dark mass of the older buildings, and, inevitably, in accordance with the rules of this story, just around the corner stands the same old man at the entrance to the square, leading the same sheep tethered by the same rope. Where have you been, have you come back to stay, he asked cain, And what about you, retorted cain, you're still here, are you, still not dead, As long as these sheep are alive, I will be too, I must have been born to tend them and stop them eating the rope that tethers them, There are worse fates, You mean your own, Maybe I'll tell you about that on another occasion, right now, I'm in a hurry, Is someone expecting you, asked the old man, That I don't know, Well, I'll just wait here to see if you leave or stay, Wish me luck, To do that I would need to know what is best for you, Even I don't know that, You're aware that lilith had a child, aren't you, asked the old man, Of course, she was pregnant when I left, Yes, well, she has a son, Goodbye, Goodbye. With no need to be told, the donkey headed for the palace gate, where he stopped. Cain slid down from the saddle, handed the reins to a slave who came to greet him and asked, Is anyone in the palace, Yes, my mistress is here, Go and tell her she has a visitor, Abel, your name is abel, murmured the slave, I remember you well, Off you go, then. The slave went up the steps and returned shortly afterwards, accompanied by a boy of about nine or ten, My son, thought cain. The slave beckoned cain to follow. At the top of the steps stood lilith, as beautiful and voluptuous as ever, I thought you would come today, that's why I put on this dress, to please you, Who is the boy, His name is enoch and he's your son. Cain went up the few steps that separated him from lilith, grasped the hands she held out to him and, in an instant, was holding her in his arms. He heard her sigh, felt her whole body tremble, and when lilith said, You came back, he could say only, Yes, I came back. At a signal from her, the slave led the boy away, leaving them alone. Come with me, she said. They went into the antechamber, and cain noticed that the guard's bed and bench that had been assigned to him ten years before were still there, How did you know I would come back today when I arrived here quite by chance, Never ask me how I know what I say I know because I won't be able to answer, but this morning, when I woke up, I said out loud, He will come back today, I said it so that you would hear, and it was true, here you are, but I won't ask you for how long, No, after all, I've only just arrived, it's hardly the time to speak of leaving, Why did you come back, That's a long story, too long to be told here, between rooms, Come and tell it to me in bed, then. They went into the bedroom, where nothing appeared to have changed, as if, during that long absence, cain's memory had been carefully modifying his recollections, one by one, so as not to feel surprised now. Lilith began to get undressed, and time seemed not to have passed for her at all. It was then that cain asked, What about noah, He died, she said, and her voice did not tremble nor did she look away, Did you kill him, asked cain, No, responded lilith, I promised you that I wouldn't, he died a natural death, Better so, said cain, The city is called enoch too, lilith remarked, Like my son, Yes, And who chose the name, Which name, The city's, Noah, And why did he name the city after a son that was not his, He never told me and I never asked, answered lilith, lying down. And when did noah die, asked cain, Three years ago, So for seven years, in the eyes of everyone, he was enoch's father, People pretended that was the case, but everyone here knew that you were the real father, although it's true that, over time, only the older people remembered, but be that as it may, noah could not have treated him better if he had been his own son, That doesn't sound like the man I knew, it's as if he were two people, No one is just one person, you, for example, are both cain and abel, And you, Oh, I am all women, and all their names are mine, said lilith, and now, be quick, come and give me news of your body, In ten years, I have known no other woman, said cain, as he lay down, And I have known no other man, said lilith, smiling mischievously, Is that true, No, there have been a few other men in this bed, but not many because, frankly, I couldn't stand them, I felt like slitting their throats when they ejaculated, Thank you for your honesty, To you I will never lie, said lilith and put her arms around him.