Indeed, that was a problem.
Chad had the crew knock off work an hour before dark the following evening. He had something he wanted to show them. “I am going to teach you the fine art of tight-lining for bullheads tonight. Not only that, but I am going to teach you how to make fish traps.” Chad told the group. “The aqueduct between here and East Orosi is filled with small fish and crayfish we are going to catch a bunch of them.”
Chad showed the crew how to make fish traps from old bicycle wheels, PVC conduit and poultry netting. He cautioned, “These traps are illegal but they catch tons of fish… we just need to bait them with bird guts and road kill. The other thing I am going to do is to teach you to catch fish with a line-and-hook so you have a cover story for all of the fish you trap.”
“You need to take turns doing this at night. Everybody knows bullheads bite best at night.” Chad said. “I am willing to let the two who go fishing sleep in a little bit but the rest of the crew needs to pick up the slack because we need to catch a butt-load of fish in the next week.”
For the first time, Houa Yang piped up, “Count me in.”
Early on, Chad had asked Miguel what Houa’s story was.
Miguel said, “Houa used to go to some place called Cal Poly but they threw him out.”
Chad asked, “Do you know why they threw him out? He is twenty-four and this is his first summer of farm work.”
Miguel said, “He told me that the school got tired of his shit and threw him out.”
That had Chad puzzled. You did not stay on the academic track until you were twenty-four if you were a trouble maker. “Exactly what did he say?”
Miguel said, “You know how those college kids like to use fancy words. He said, ‘The school rejected my feces.’”
Chad, mulling it over, said, “Feces, feces, feces… thesis? Twenty-four at Cal Poly and he was probably working on his Ph.D… And they dumped him because they did not like his thesis.” Chad decided he needed to keep a closer eye on Houa. He was quiet but he was probably just being cautious and was scoping out his new environment.
A couple of nights later Houa and Brigid, who hailed from Marin county, brought in a load of twenty pounds of assorted fish in the wee hours of the morning. Chad got up to help them process the fish.
That gave him time to talk to him.
“Houa” Chad said, “I heard you used to be a student at Cal Poly. Is that true?”
“Yup. Sure enough boss.” Houa replied.
“How did you get in?” Chad asked. “I thought Moonbeam signed an Executive Order that every school had to have a student population that reflected the demographics of Cali.”
Houa said, “Well, boss, there was a way around that. Do you remember when Moonbean signed the Executive Order allowing three adults to join in matrimony?”
“Yes.” said Chad. “I just thought that was some kind of big-city weirdness.”
“Actually, the Asian community was pushing for that law.” Houa said. “The point was buried in the tail-feathers of the order. All members of the family were allowed to claim the national origins of all members of the marriage. My mom and dad married a Latina woman. Not only am I Hmong, I am legally a Mexi-Calian and received a priority slot for Cal Poly.”
Chad just shook his head. Just when you thought it could not get any weirder…
“Hey boss,” Houa said after they finished processing the last of the fish, “what do you want me to do with the offal?”
Chad said, “Where would YOU put the offal if you were trying to hide the fact that you were catching and eating these fish?”
“Well, fish guts stink so I would put it east of the houses. In the heat of the day, when it would stink the worst the thermals would rise… so I would make sure it were at a higher elevation than the ranch. I would want it in a gully so buzzards would not home in on the… and so you would not see it if coyotes tore into it.”
“Why do you ask?” Houa concluded.
“The really smart people from Sacramento, the ones who have caused this mess, are coming here in a week or two for a spot check. There is going to be a problem because you are eating too well. We need to give them a plausible reason for the weight gain of all of the students.” Chad said.
“If they don’t get a believable reason then they will roll this farm into the collective and the crew with it. Mardi and I will either be put into prison or given the Universal Basic Income and placed into the barrio.”
“What do you need to have us do boss?”
“When they ask you what you have been eating, let it slip that members of the crew have been fishing in the aqueduct. If they push… and they might, take them out to where you have been “hiding” the fish guts. With any luck, the stink will convince them that they don’t need to do any more investigation.
He made a huge, elaborate wink. “Consider it done, boss. And what do you want us to do with all of this fish?”
“Houa, I think you should have a party. Invite your buddies from the other farms around here. Eat until you puke. Nothing like generating some supporting evidence. I will pony up the kettles and LP burners.” Chad said.
Chapter Three
Original Email
To: Magdalene Izzo
Izzo Farms of East Orosi
Head of Records
From: Lois Gale-Leinhart-Diaz
The Cali Department of Education
Agent, Enforcement Division
Date: June 27, 2031
Mz Izzo:
Routine audit of your records indicates multiple discrepancies and probable non-compliance issues.
Interviews of previous students entrusted to your care resulted in findings. Based on those findings, The Cali Department of Education filed multiple grievances on behalf of those students.
Full disclosure of all records that may pertain to students hosted since 2021 are required.
Certified records demanded pursuant to Cali “Education Opportunity Law” 2021-3.1415.9265
Fines will be levied if copies are not delivered in ten business days.
**********************************
Email reply, history redacted
To: Lois Gale-Leinhart-Diaz
The Cali Department of Education
Agent, Enforcement Division
From: Magdalene Izzo
Izzo Farms of East Orosi
Head of Records
Date: June 27, 2031
Full copies of mandatory compliance databases respectfully attached. These are the same files we submit every tax year.
**********************************
Email reply, history redacted
To: Magdalene Izzo
Izzo Farms of East Orosi
Head of Records
From: Lois Gale-Leinhart-Diaz
The Cali Department of Education
Agent, Enforcement Division
Date: June 30, 2031
Mz Izzo:
Routine audit of your records indicates multiple discrepancies and probable non-compliance issues.
We already have the files you emailed.
We need certified copies.
Further, this letter is officially notifying you that we demand ALL records, including emails, related to students hosted by you from 2021 to the present.
Fines will be levied in nine business days if compliance is not satisfactory.