A pause button was exactly what the doctor called for.
Luke
“You look like my brother, but you can’t be him. He doesn’t come around here anymore,” Haven said, clearly looking through the peephole.
“Ha bloody ha, Haven. Let me in.”
I’d promised Haven I’d turn up to Sunday dinner this week. She’d been harassing me for days, but she’d been right. Ashleigh and I had to get through this—at least as friends—so I couldn’t avoid her anymore.
The door swung open, but she was already halfway back down the corridor, and heading for the kitchen. “Way to make me feel welcome.”
Jake stood at the counter, bent over what looked like a recipe book. “Hey, mate,” I said.
He gave me a hug, his eyes bright. “It’s so good to see you. Thanks for coming. Haven’s been a wreck with all this shit going on with you and Ash.”
My stomach dropped. I’d not thought about the impact on Haven. “I’m sorry. I just needed a bit of space.”
“You don’t need space from me, you dickhead,” she said.
“Not you, from Ashleigh. I didn’t want it be difficult between you two, so I thought . . . I don’t know.”
“He’s here now, Haven. That’s the main thing,” Jake said. “It’ll be a great night.”
“Is Ashleigh coming?” I asked. Haven had been pretty fierce when she’d told me to get over it and turn up for dinner. She’d said she was making Sunday night dinner mandatory and would tell Ashleigh the same thing.
“Of course she is. I’ve told you, there’s no choice. You two need to find a way because I’m not having my family breaking apart.” Haven’s voice quivered and Jake reached out to smooth circles on her back. “Not now.” She moved away from him and scurried past me into the bathroom at the same time the door buzzer went. Jesus, I’d had no idea she was so upset.
“Can you get that?” Jake asked. “I’ll go and check on Haven.”
“Yeah, of course. God, I’m sorry. I—” I hated to see Haven sad. It was my job to protect her. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of her sorrow.
“Listen, don’t worry about it. I’ll explain in a bit . . . You see in Ash.” Jake hurried after Haven, and I went to answer the door.
Her smile faltered, just a tiny bit, when she saw me. “Hey.” Her voice was quiet and unsure, and I had to muster up a burst of energy when all I wanted to do was stand and stare at her. To remind myself of her every soft curve.
I bent and kissed her on her cheek. “It’s good to see you, Ashleigh. It really is.” I inhaled her scent. It was a call home, a call to where I belonged. Every time I saw her I was more and more certain that we were meant to be together, that I needed her, wanted her . . . loved her. I’d been giving her some space by not coming to Sunday dinner, but I’d also been giving myself some space. It was too painful to be constantly reminded of what I desperately wanted but couldn’t have. Of where I should be, who I should be with.
“Where’s Haven and Jake?” She looked round the living room as we entered.
I frowned. “The bathroom, I think. Haven got a bit upset. I think because the whole Sunday dinner thing. I mean, I’ve not been coming. I don’t know about you.”
She shook her head. “No, me neither. I thought—”
She thought she’d give me room to keep on with our ritual, and I’d tried to do the same. “We should make more of an effort.”
She nodded, the light catching on her hair, highlighting her beautiful face. I had to look away. How had I gone so many years without being totally mesmerized by her?
“God, that’s not like her to be upset about stuff like this.” She shuffled from one foot to the other. All I wanted to do was pull her close.
I held my breath as Haven’s and Jake’s voices became louder and doors opened and closed.
“So, it’s this guy’s fault,” Haven announced, pointing her thumb toward Jake.
“What is?” I asked as Haven hugged Ashleigh. Why was Jake getting the blame?
“Me getting emotional.” She pulled away from Ashleigh and put her arm around Jake’s waist. “He knocked me up.”
“What?” Ashleigh squealed. “You’re pregnant? That’s amazing.”
“We wanted you both here, so we could tell you at the same time,” Jake said.
“Beth, too, but she’s in Chicago, and I wasn’t drinking when she popped in earlier in the week. And well, she guessed . . .”
“Wow, congratulations,” I said, shocked as I shook Jake’s hand and pulled him into a hug. I looked Haven up and down, trying to spot evidence of a bump. She grasped at her stomach. My sister was pregnant. I was going to be an uncle. Fucking hell. I’d thought life was moving quickly before. “You’re a braver man that I.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” I pulled her toward me, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. Pride knotted in my stomach. A huge wave of relief passed through me that I’d never had an accident with Emma. I would have married her, of course, and it would never have been enough for me.
“I’m so proud of you,” I said, my cheek resting on her head. “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
“Turns out it’s not that difficult to get pregnant,” Haven replied. “It wasn’t planned.” My stomach churned. I hoped she was ready. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be. A kid was going to change things in our family forever.
“That’s because we’re so good at baby making.” Jake grinned proudly.
“Okay, enough already.” Ashleigh covered her ears. I reached out to pull her into a weird double hug behind Haven. The three of us stood together like the unit we’d been for so long.
It felt good.
“Come on, guys, break it up. I’m starting to feel left out,” Jake said.
The three of us dispersed and gathered round the kitchen island.
“So we need to celebrate. I should have brought champagne.” Ashleigh clasped her hands together. She was excited, her eyes sparkling. Our earlier awkwardness had dissipated.
“I’ve got some. We’ve got lots to celebrate. Ash sat her entrance exam to business school. And you won your whats-a-mathing case,” Haven said. “I’ve not seen you properly since.”
“You won the Nigelson case?” Ashleigh asked, her eyes wide.
I nodded and stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Well, it settled, in our favor.”
“Oh my God, Luke, this is huge. Congratulations.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. Shocked, I slid my hands around her waist, leaned down and pulled her close. “You should have told me,” she mumbled against my skin. Her familiar scent wound itself around me, all sweetness and summer. I had to work hard not to smooth my hands over that perfect ass of hers. She moved her body against mine. Like flint on stone, sparks went off across my skin. Jesus, it was torture holding her like this, but being unable to peel off her clothes, lay her down, spread her out and enjoy her. My dick began to harden. I tensed and pulled back.
“I know.” I would have normally told her, but I’d forgotten how to be normal with her. “How was the exam?”
“Good, I think. I won’t know for a few weeks whether I got in.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes as we parted. She headed toward the refrigerator as if we’d just had a friendly hug. “Rule number one of your pregnancy is that you can’t judge me for drinking. It’s going to be bad enough knowing that I’m the only one out of you, Beth and me that’s still on the booze, I don’t need to feel your judgment.”
“Deal. And shoot me if I become one of those women who start telling you that I didn’t know what love meant until I had a baby. I mean, I might think it, but if I let those words out, feel free to stuff them back in. I also promise to put the kid up for adoption if all I start to talk about is nappies and breastfeeding.”