Things were starting to come into focus. She thought because I hadn’t wanted to marry Emma that I didn’t want to get married at all.
“I didn’t want to marry Emma.”
“I know. And I respect that. It’s always been clear—you’ve not been ambiguous about anything.”
She watched me as I went back into the bathroom, opened the cupboard and reached between the towels to find her ring. Maybe taking positive action would help clarify my feelings.
“I don’t expect anything from you. I can do this on my own. You don’t even need to pay—”
“Stop,” I said as I lay down beside her, placing the blue velvet box between us. She followed my gaze until her eyes found the box.
She glanced at my face, then down again.
“What? How did you know? I’ve not even told Haven—”
“Do you want to see?”
She took a sharp breath. “I don’t understand; if you just found—”
I snapped the box open.
Her eyes widened. “It’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you, but yes, it is. Ashleigh Franklin, will you marry me?”
She began to smile but then something shifted and tears started to fall, and she covered her face with her hands.
“Are you proposing to make me happy and because I’m pregnant? Because, if you are, one day you’ll hate me if I say yes to you now.”
She thought I didn’t want a life with her and our kids? Those hormones were raging already.
“I found out that you were pregnant about twenty minutes ago when you started vomiting. We’ll talk about that another time. I don’t like us to have secrets from each other. I don’t want to marry you just because you’re pregnant. I just want to marry you. I’ve wanted you to be my wife since I kissed you, maybe even before then.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and trailed my thumb across her lips. I couldn’t stop touching her, not for a second. “I’ve been terrified to propose because you’re so concerned that we’re moving too fast. I’m not. I’d marry you tomorrow if it was up to me. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to waste a second now we’re together. I want to have enough kids with you that we can have our own family rugby team.” I couldn’t believe I was going to be a father. We were going to be awesome parents. “I want the whole thing with you. I told you—you’ve changed who I am for the better. I want forever with you. You don’t get to leave me. Not now, not ever.”
She blinked, long, slow blinks, a question forming. “But . . . you never wanted—”
“I’ve never wanted to get married before you, you’re right. You just don’t get how you make it all different for me, do you? I’ve never wanted it before because it wasn’t with you. You’re the person that makes me want all this stuff.”
She reached up and pressed her palm against my cheek.
“When did you buy it?”
“I don’t know. A few weeks ago.”
“And you’ve not asked me yet because . . .”
“Because I knew how freaked out you were about me wanting to move in together so quickly. I thought if I asked you to be my wife, you might have a stroke. I wanted to go at your pace. I was trying to be patient.”
“I see.”
“What do you see?” She shrugged. “You’re going to leave me hanging?” I asked.
The corners of her mouth twitched. “I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I?” And then she frowned.
“Never.” This wasn’t what I’d planned; I’d wanted this to be a big moment. But I guess it was in other ways.
“Ashleigh Franklin, will you be my wife?” I pulled the ring out of the box and took her hand.
“It’s too beautiful.”
“Do you like it? I saw it and then couldn’t imagine you in anything else.”
“I love it. It’s more me than I could ever have imagined.”
“That’s because you just don’t know how beautiful you are.”
Ashleigh
I wasn’t sure if it was the hormones making my head fuzzy, or the gigantic sapphire Luke slipped onto my left ring finger. It fit perfectly. Not thirty minutes ago, I’d been about to move back to my flat, prepared to be a single mother. Now the love of my life had proposed. My heart was too big for my chest. Was it possible to be this happy?
Things had changed, but I had failed to realize the extent of the shift. He had bought a ring for me—wanted to be my husband—and had barely missed a beat when he’d realized I was pregnant. In fact, he was more excited that I was. He was a different Luke in those moments. As much as I thought I’d got to a place where I could trust his feelings for me, I’d never really understood how deep they went . . . until now.
“Hey,” he said, tipping my chin up toward him.
“Yes, I’ll marry you, Luke.”
“I’m very pleased to hear it.”
He pressed his lips against mine, and I threaded my hands into his hair. We were going to be together as I’d always wanted. He pulled back and looked down between us. “How long have you known?” He pushed up my top, and his fingers fumbled at the zip on my jeans. I lay on my back as he exposed my belly and stared at it as if he was imagining what grew inside.
“I found out yesterday. I realized something was off during dinner the night before, but I took the test at work. I know the timing isn’t ideal, but—”
“The timing is perfect. I know you have business school starting, but you’ll be through the first year before you have the baby.”
I started to giggle. “I may have to defer.”
“No, we’ll make it work. I think it would be good to be pregnant in all those lectures. They say you should play Mozart to babies in the womb to make kids more intelligent. Imagine what lectures on game theory might do. We’re going to raise a superhero.”
I started to laugh. “Well, as long as we’re not creating impossibly high expectations for the kid.”
He kissed my belly. “I’m so excited. The baby, you marrying me, it’s all so perfect.” He looked at me. “But we’re going to have to move. And I’ll need to get a car. Shall we find a place in the country?”
Apparently, Luke had gone from being scared of change to welcoming it. “Let’s just take one step at a time, hey?”
He slouched back on the bed.
“Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”
I propped myself up on my elbow and stroked his chest.
“If you ever left me, it would break me.” He stared up at the ceiling as he spoke.
I reached across and dropped a kiss on his jaw. “I’m not going anywhere. I said yes when you proposed, silly.” What had gotten in his head?
“You were going to go. Before. You were just going to disappear without any explanation. I can’t ask you to marry me again if we’re already married when you next freak out. What happens if you try to leave again?”
My earlier nausea returned, but I doubted it had anything to do with the pregnancy this time. “I thought that was what you wanted. Or what you would want when you found out about the baby. I didn’t want to guilt you into sticking by me. I didn’t want you to think you were trapped.”
“Why would being with you ever be a trap? I love you, Ashleigh, and I have to know that you’re never going to leave me. That you’re never going to try and do what’s best for me without asking me.”
“Never? Like, not pick up your favorite beer or coconut water while I’m shopping? Or start giving you a blow job while you’re sleeping?” I grinned at him and let my hand drift down his chest and circle his cock.
“I’m serious, Ashleigh. You have to promise to talk to me, or I’m going to drive myself crazy waiting for you to leave me again.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, my heart aching at his hurt.
“Don’t do it again.”
“I promise.”
I trailed my fingers over his chest, then lower and began to unzip his jeans. I wanted him to feel the promise in my touch. He expanded beneath my hand. “I want you so much it scares me,” I whispered.
“Do you get that I feel it just as much as you?” he asked. The effort he put into keeping his voice steady showed in his tight jaw.