“I’ve heard that before,” Jake said.
“Jake, don’t encourage her,” I replied, glancing across at Luke, who was still checking out beer labels. My heart was starting to thump. Was he avoiding me?
“I’m not encouraging her. You’re the one who just confessed to going on a date with this Richard guy.”
“It wasn’t a date.” I shook my head.
“Sounds like a date to me,” Luke said as he spun to face me, grinning. I let out a breath as I realized he wasn’t mad.
“Whatever. Pour me some wine.” I pushed my glass across the counter at him.
He smiled as he took my drink, scraping his fingers along mine as he did. I shivered. Why had we come? Why had I suggested that we spend the night apart? Even if he wasn’t with me tonight, he would be all I thought about.
Haven shrugged. “I’m just saying, give the guy a break. I want you to be happy, Ash. He must like you if you’re still friends after you broke up with him. He might be the one without you even realizing it.”
“I think I’ll know when I find the one,” I mumbled into my glass. How I felt about Luke put any possibility of me ever dating Richard into a box marked never going to happen. He was a nice guy, but he didn’t set my skin on fire with a single touch. His smile couldn’t heat my cheeks. He just wasn’t the one.
“What was that?” Luke asked me.
“What?” I said, pretending not to follow him.
“You said something about the one?” Luke grinned at me, obviously enjoying every moment of my torture.
“What about you, Luke?” Jake interrupted, saving me from further embarrassment. “Have you manned up and asked Fiona out?”
I sucked in a breath. What would he reveal? “Should I take this to the table?” I asked Haven, gesturing at the salad, and trying to cover up the fact that I wanted to hear every last sound that came out of Luke’s mouth about Fiona. Haven glanced at me, a sympathetic look on her face, and nodded. She must have thought I didn’t want to hear about Luke dating Fiona. I wandered over to the other side of the living space with the bowl.
“Yeah, we went out a couple of times.”
“What?” Haven asked. “You’ve been dating and you’ve not told me? Do you like her? Are we going to meet her?”
“Yes I like her. She’s a nice girl.”
Even though I was pretty sure Luke didn’t have feelings for Fiona, my stomach twisted. I hated that he’d dated her. It wasn’t that he’d done anything wrong—he’d been doing what I’d wanted him to do—but it would have been better if she’d turned out to be a complete crazy person. After all, they still worked in the same office. He saw her regularly. It took every ounce of willpower not to blurt out that Luke and I were together. I wanted to claim him. To stop Haven from talking about other women who would be good for him. I was good for him.
Despite my curiosity, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I needed to take a beat, get my shit together. Staring into the mirror, I pressed my fingers along my eyebrows, straightening out my frown. I was used to being envious of Emma, but I’d always taken some comfort from the fact that she didn’t see the side of Luke that I did. She didn’t have the same shared history, couldn’t make him laugh the way I could. I didn’t know anything about Fiona. She had the triathlon thing in common with Luke, which he seemed to love. And she saw him at work, which I never did. Could she make him laugh? Had I become another Emma to Fiona?
As I wandered back to the living room, everyone had taken their seats around the dining table. I sank into the free seat between Luke and Jake. I tried to convince myself there was an invisible barrier between Luke and me. Touching was an impossibly bad idea if we didn’t want Haven and Jake to catch on.
The problem was, my barrier was faulty and acted more like a magnet. Being so close to him made me want to be closer still. I wanted him to hold me. I crossed my arms in front of me, so I didn’t lose control and accidently reach for his floppy hair or smooth my hands across his broad back.
I startled when his leg brushed against mine as he reached for the jug of water—was he trying to torture me? I wanted to climb into his lap and feel his arms around me. His hand came to my thigh, and I melted.
He looked at me, and I widened my eyes at him in warning. What was he doing? I was worried Haven would see his hand. He squeezed my leg and removed his hand, leaving my skin buzzing. I glanced across at Haven. Had she seen that?
“So when do you hear about business school, Ash?” Jake asked.
I hesitated as I tried to concentrate on something other than Luke. “Soon, I think.” I’d forgotten that I should have a decision this week.
“How are you going to manage to study and work at the same time?” Haven asked. “Sounds impossible.”
“Yeah, I think it will be tough. Richard suggested I go part-time, but there’s no way. I mean, no.”
“How did he suggest you pay your rent?” Haven asked. “Honestly, men have no common sense.”
Jake rolled his eyes, and Luke shook his head at Haven’s dismissal of the male species. They both handled her perfectly.
“Oh, he had a solution for that. He said I should move in with him.”
Luke had his wineglass to his lips and spluttered into his drink at my revelation. “He said what?” His voice was tight.
I focused on Haven, afraid to meet Luke’s eyes. I probably shouldn’t have shared that without having mentioned it to Luke first.
“What, he was offering you his spare room?” she asked.
“In return for your vagina?” Jake added.
“It’s never okay for you to say vagina,” I said, grinning at Jake while Haven playfully smacked him on the arm. Luke didn’t join in, but his clenched fists told me he wasn’t happy. I desperately wanted to reach across my invisible barrier and drop a small kiss on his shoulder. He had nothing to worry about.
Luke
I believed Ashleigh when she said nothing had happened with Richard, but that didn’t stop me from feeling homicidal. Ashleigh was mine, and everyone needed to know it. I’d been a second away from announcing it to Haven and Jake. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that Ashleigh and I might take two steps back. I didn’t have time to do anything but move forward with her. I wanted to start our future together. I just wished she were as eager as I was.
I tried to think of reasons that would persuade her to stay with me tonight. I didn’t want to be without her, especially not with conversations of Richard and Fiona on our minds. I didn’t want her focused on what might have been. I wanted her focused on us.
“I’m going to head home. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I don’t want to start the week tired,” Ashleigh said as she closed the dishwasher. She leaned forward to program the machine and gave me an excellent view down her top. Was she wearing a bra? I’d been trying to control my hard-on all night, but my dick was getting sick of holding back. I was close to dragging Ashleigh home to get naked.
“You’ll stay for another beer though, right?” Jake asked me.
I wanted to say no, but I glanced at Ashleigh and she gave me a small nod. “Sure,” I said. Better to be here with Jake and Haven than at home, on my own, wishing I was with Ashleigh.
I relaxed when Ashleigh left. I’d been on edge all evening, trying to make sure I wasn’t giving away how I felt about her. More than once I’d been about to touch her and had to stop myself. It felt so unnatural to be acting as we had for the last two decades.
Things were different now.
“So, you didn’t say anything more about Fiona; what’s going on there?” Jake asked as we collapsed on the sofas with our beers. Haven followed, bringing her wine.
“There’s nothing to say. She’s a nice girl, but she’s not for me.”
“She’s not? Does that mean you know who is?” Haven asked.
“Haven, you know that the ball is in Ashleigh’s court.”