"A proper spirit of scientific investigation-" "I'm more interested in self-preservation. Study the staff later.
Antorell-" "Ha!" said Antorell. "You are too late! Behold!"
With a flourish, he raised his right arm. As he did, he began to glow.
Fiddlesticks pulled his head back in surprise, and the glow began pulsing, first bright, then dim. After three pulses, Antorell started growing. He gained an inch on the next pulse, two on the one after that, and then he had grown to a foot in height.
"Bother," said Morwen, and grabbed for the bucket.
"Argelfraster," said Telemain, and pointed at Antorell.
"Eeeaugh!" said Antorell, his expression changing from sinister to shocked. He continued to glow and pulse, but he was no longer getting taller. A puddle of brown goo began to spread out from under his robe where his feet should have been. "No! Help! You can't do this to me!"
"Wow!" said Fiddlesticks. "Look at him go!"
Morwen nodded, but she kept the bucket of soapy water ready to throw, just in case. Antorell was now melting faster than he was growing. In another minute, all that was left were his robes and the puddle of goo sinking slowly into the moss. Fiddlesticks edged up to it and sniffed, then backed away rapidily.
"What was all that noise?" Killer said from behind Telemain. "Part of it sounded like another donkey."
"No, it was a wizard, though in this case it's much the same thing," Morwen said. "You needn't worry. He's gone now." She set her bucket down once more and gave Telemain a nod of approval.
"Congratulations.
It works."
"Yes, and did you notice the echo effect on the size-amplification spell?"
Telemain shook his head. "Remarkable. The theoretical ramifications-" "Are very interesting, I'm sure," Morwen said. "How permanent is this?" She waved at the gooey robes.
"Not very, I'm afraid," Telemain said. "He'll be back in a day or two."
Killer ambled over to the puddle. "Is this edible?" he asked in a doubtful tone.
"No!" said Morwen and Telemain together.
"What an awful idea," said Fiddlesticks, wrinkling his nose.
"What a mess," said Scorn.
"Don't touch it," Morwen said to Killer. "With two spells on you already, you shouldn't take any chances with wizard residuum."
"Oh," said Killer. He looked at the puddle again and sighed. "But I'm hungry. And thirsty. What do donkeys eat?"
"We'll take care of you in a minute or two," Morwen promised. "Finish up quickly, Telemain. We're leaving." Beach or no beach, King Mendanbar and Queen Cimorene had to be found and informed as soon as possible. Morwen started back toward the clover patch to collect her broomstick.
"Don't forget about that staff!" Scorn called after her.
Getting ready to leave didn't take long. Morwen picked up the staff-and Jasper, who was still guarding it-on her way back to Telemain. She noticed with interest that the staff was over three feet long and expanding slowly. Apparently the shrinking spell was wearing off it even without Antorell's help.
When she reached him, Telemain was just stowing the last of his shiny instruments back in one of his pockets. "Have we got everyone?" the magician asked.
"Everyone but the wizard," Scorn said. "And good riddance to him, I say."
"Yes," Morwen replied to both Telemain and Scorn. "If you'll take the staff, Telemain-" "I wouldn't do that,"Jasper said, jumping down from Morwen's shoulder.
Morwen paused, frowning, then saw Killer standing by the bucket of soapy water. He lowered his head and sniffed experimentally. "Why not? It smells nice."
"That's the lemon juice," Morwen said.
"It's got soap in it," Fiddlesticks said, lashing his tail. "It's for melting-" "There aren't any wizards around, and I'm thirsty." Before anyone could stop him Killer took a large slurp. His ears stood straight up and he reared back, shaking his head. "Blea-eea-eaugh! That tastes terrible."
"Fiddle warned you," said Scorn, with a visible lack of sympathy. "So did Jasper. Serves you right for not listening."
"What's it doing to his nose?" Fiddlesticks said, poking his own nose forward until he had to stand up and follow it. "Look at his nose, Morwen.
It's turning blue."
"Not just the nose." Jasper stared in fascination. "His whole face is changing color."
Killer gave a frightened snort and shook his head, sneezing soap bubbles in all directions. The color went on spreading. Soon his head and neck were a bright, clear sky blue that continued to inch up his ears, down his forelegs, and across his back.
"Help!" Killer cried. "Morwen, you're a witch. Make it stop"
"That would be inadvisable," Telemain said. He, too, was watching Killer's changing color with great interest. "The synergistic action of the original wizardly enchantment, which was itself an unstructured mechanical surplus and therefore liable to produce unpredictable side effects, and the secondary vegetation-based enchantment has rendered you vulnerable to the wizard liquefication fluid while also, fortunately, mitigating its effects."
"What?" said Killer.
"You've got a leftover bit of a wizard's spell on you and you don't know what all it may do. You're lucky you aren't melting, the way the wizard did," Scorn summarized.
"But just look at me!"
"I think it's an improvement," Morwen said. "Much better than being blotchy."
"Blue? Blue is better than blotchy?" The color had spread to Killer's hindquarters. Only his tail and his back legs were still a patchy white-and-brown.
"Not much," said Scorn.
"Settle it later," Morwen said. "We have to go. Telemain-" "Everyone still here? Good." Telemain raised a hand and made a circle in the air with his left forefinger. The wide silver band on his finger sparkled as he said in a low voice, "Convey this crowd On wind and cloud to the castle of the King By the power of this ring."
On the last word, Telemain clapped his hands together loudly. The trees melted and ran like soft wax on a hot stove. To her surprise, Morwen felt no sensation of movement. It was more as if she were standing still while everything around her shifted. As she nodded in approval, the blur flowed into a new shape and solidified.
They now stood on the paving stones of the castle courtyard, in the relatively narrow strip between the moat and the main door. A large dragon lay along the left side of the castle, basking in the sun. Her head, with the three stubby horns that proclaimed her a female, rested at the edge of the moat; most of her body was hidden by a tower with two staircases running around its outside. Her wings were partway open to catch the sun, and her green scales glittered, even where they were beginning to turn gray at the edges.
"Eee-augh!" Killer brayed in terror. "A dragon!" Oh, good," Morwen said at the same moment. "That will save some time."
"Good?" Killer seemed to be trying to hide behind Telemain and to watch the dragon at the same time. "A dragon is good?"
"Not a dragon, you idiot," said Scorn. "That's Kazul, the King of the Dragons."
Killer edged away. "Does he eat rabbits? Or donkeys?"
"She prefers cherries jubilee," Jasper said.
"She?" Killer looked thoroughly confused, as well as alarmed.
"But-the 'King of the Dragons'?"
"'King of the Dragons' is the name of a job," Jasper said. "It has nothing to do with gender."
"Dragons are very sensible about things like that," Fiddlesticks put in, nodding. "Almost as sensible as me. But they don't like fish."
"I'd be happier if they didn't like donkeys."
"Don't worry about King Kazul," Morwen said to Killer. "She doesn't eat friends of friends."
"Not even if she's hungry?" Killer's ears pricked forward nervously.
"She looks hungry to me."
Before Morwen could respond, the castle door creaked open. From the dark hallway inside, a voice called, "Madame Morwen! Magician Telemain! Welcome to the castle."
6
In Which the Plot Positively Curdles and the King of the Dragons Loses her Temper