Dancing, music, and jesting, after the negro fashion, seem to have ceased. They have been replaced with men who, eyes half closed, loll against a wall, or lie inert upon a sunny bank, and wilfully doze away leisure hours until called upon to return with reluctance to the labours of the field. Beyond the staring whites of their eyes, and the glittering rows of dazzling teeth, I can now see that the saturnine house-servants look upon me with a new suspicion. As soon as they think me out of earshot they renew their animal chatter as though I am in some way responsible for this disagreeable situation. They obviously assume that I am prejudiced on the side of the young overseer in this irksome dispute, but in this they are mistaken. I am merely waiting for Arnold to dispense his justice, being confident that whatever decision he reaches will most likely be the correct one.
A second cause for concern is Christiania, who has chosen this moment to disappear. Again the plantation is divided along rather crude lines, with the blacks having some knowledge (or so we feel) of her whereabouts, and the whites wishing to have her declared a runaway and so set in motion a hunt for her black hide. Should she be recaptured she will naturally be thoroughly flogged or else transported, a punishment which the majority of the whites, having been compelled to endure the arrogance of this woman, would dearly wish to see. It would be difficult for the outsider properly to discern the nature of this unhappy atmosphere, for it is possible that the stranger might mistake this sourness of heart for the feelings that normally occur in this clime, and indeed fail to recognize anything particular amiss. But to those of us, black and white, who are familiar with plantation life, this new unease is causing deep distress.
This morning, over breakfast, I chanced to mention to Arnold that he might consider arriving at his decision before Christmas. He asked me which decision, clearly now conscious of the double judgement in his keep. I took it upon myself to suggest that the decision over Cambridge was the more urgent of the two, for the curious behaviour of this over-confident, Bible-reading slave demanded immediate attention. I confessed to Arnold that to my observation this bondsman had about his gaze an unsound quality. Furthermore, I insisted that he seemed determined to adopt a lunatic precision in his dealings with our English words, as though the black imagined himself to be a part of our white race. Arnold mused on all that I said, then added that because the blacks were destroying the goodwill of the Christmas season he would soon pronounce upon Cambridge. If necessary, the matter of Christiania could wait until the new year for it seldom happened that a runaway managed to leave the island. In the case of this witless negress, successful flight to a distant shore seemed highly unlikely. We ate in silence for a short while, until I asked Arnold if surely there was not something else that was troubling him. I insisted that the circumstances of my being on the island could not, of course, be permitted to unseat the established system of discipline which secures the labour and obedience of the slaves. Arnold said nothing. I continued, pointing out that although I suspected a woman such as myself must occasionally prove an intolerable nuisance for one such as Arnold, I was prepared to risk tarnishing my own reputation as good company if only I might provide him with a secure vessel into which to pour his well-corked grief.
Eventually Arnold spoke, but he would not look me in the eye, offering only the cropped pate of his head. He admitted that due to a virulent strain of cane-blight the sugar was not as healthy as he had hoped, and he feared for the financial returns on this year's harvest. This worry was compounded by the fact that an overseer close to Arnold (although he was too discreet to divulge the man's name) had developed the powerful dispatcher known as the yaws, a terrible and obstinate contagion transmitted by illicit coupling with a black. On making its nauseous appearance the yaws brings with it frightful ravages, twitching pains extending to the very marrow, and a loathsome deformity of bone and flesh. The disease leaves the afflicted wretch at a distance from his fellow kind, often abandoned by man and left to the mortal office of nature. Recovery, although rare in older sufferers, demands cleanliness, a nutritious diet without meat or salt animal food, and the dedication to observe this strict regimen despite the inward signs of pain and the outward signs of humiliation. Poor Arnold! That he should be compelled to observe such sufferings! This season of goodwill was rapidly becoming a nightmare for him. He took himself up to return to work with the spirit and posture of a man only too aware of approaching mortality.
How 'flat, stale and unprofitable' life can sometimes be! I speak now of Mr McDonald, who has just interrupted my afternoon rest to pay me an unsolicited visit. What is more, I fear his true purpose is out, for he asked me, in the manner of a hurt schoolboy, if it were true that I had dined with Mr Brown at a merchant's home. I answered in the affirmative, and added that I had enjoyed a pleasant evening, particularly the company of Arnold. Mr McDonald seemed somewhat taken aback by my confirmation of this and pleaded that he had any number of invitations to dine at all the influential houses on the island, and that he would be pleased if I might one day consider accompanying him. Without wishing to cause offence to Mr McDonald, I made it quite clear I already had a companion with whom I was more than satisfied. I indicated that it might make life difficult for all parties were I to be seen abroad with another man, and then I passed the situation back into his own no doubt capable hands and directly asked did he not think that this might be the case? Mr McDonald fell speechless. Jealousy is not an uncommon expression of the female temperament, but I believe its appearance in the male is altogether less openly displayed. Mr McDonald sat for some time staring at the space above my head, struggling with his emotions, not knowing my person well enough to declare, yet hoping that upon a hint I might speak. Upon the second, third, and perhaps even fourth hint, I had still not spoken. This was truly a painful encounter, and for the first time I realized what it can cost a man to declare his affection when he doubts a response. In a burst of generosity I attempted to free Mr McDonald from his dilemma by divulging I had information that a ship had been announced, and that I would probably leave for England soon after the Christmas festivities. This served its purposes, for Mr McDonald realized that he would now be excused on more equitable ground. He made a gesture or two in the direction of trying to persuade me to stay on for a few months longer, but then he took his departure. I watched as his carriage began to pick its way down the hill, and then I sighed as it disappeared into a parcel of breadfruit trees. Men, like polite women, should learn to restrain and control their emotions. I retired to my chamber and looked into my mirror. Perhaps the affections of all these men turn in due course to some brown-faced beauty.