Sam snorted. “Dude, I told you doing Nelson was gonna leave you with a rash.”
Thud! Brody’s fist connected with the center of his buddy’s chest. “Says the guy who’s been eyeballing the goat.”
Troy’s eyes went wide and he pointed a warning finger at Sam. “Better watch your back, bro. That shit’ll get you lynched around here.”
Ernie snorted. “Y’all are fucked up. I don’t even care if she’s a little rough around the edges. As long as she’s soft, ya know? Real.”
Carson, the only married dude in the bunch, sighed. “Don’t I know it.”
“You getting kitty crazy on us, man?” Brody elbowed his buddy and Ernie pushed back.
“Hell yeah, I am. You can’t tell me this shit ain’t getting old for you too. You’ve done this three times now.”
“Yep. It’s what I signed up for.”
Ernie made a wry sound. “Not me, man. I’m over it. I want kids and shit. An old lady. This life ain’t gonna get me that.”
Brody grinned. “Well, I’ll be damned, Martin. There is a heart in that scrawny chest of yours.”
Ernie rolled his eyes and Troy pointed to a woman on the side of the road ahead. She carried what looked like a bucket of water and the hair at the back of Brody’s neck stood on end.
She wasn’t supposed to be there.
His heart began to pound like a jackhammer in his chest because he’d been down this road before. Too many damn times. Just a few feet ahead on the right...
“Stop the truck!” he shouted at Carson and this time, the sergeant actually followed command. Brody climbed over Ernie and hopped out. “Hey!” he called to the woman, but she kept walking. Faster even, which wouldn’t do because the IED was right goddamn there. Waiting. “Stop!” he called again and she came to a stumbling halt, thank Christ.
He rushed forward, gun in hand, surveying his surroundings as he went. Maybe this once he could actually change things. Save Ernie and Troy and now this woman, whoever she was.
“Hey,” he said again, putting his hand on her shoulder. She went stock still, her back straightening like an arrow. “I don’t know if you can understand me, but I want to help you.”
She nodded slowly and the heavy fabric of her chador lifted a bit from her face and, one glimpse at her profile, sucked the air from his lungs. That hair. Those eyes. That pale, pink skin...
“Jenny? What the hell are you doing here?” He grabbed her by the shoulders and jerked her around to face him. Tears shined in her dark brown eyes.
“You brought me here, Brody. You told me I’d be safe. That you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I won’t.” He lifted a hand to smooth her hair from her cheek, but she stepped away.
“You will,” she whispered, then she pressed her fingers to her mouth and blew him a kiss.
“Jenny!” he called after her, but she kept walking backwards, inching closer and closer to that rundown shack. “Baby!” he screamed, still she kept going. Didn’t stop until—
“Brody!”
His entire body shook as the IED exploded. He didn’t see it go...didn’t see it take Jenny with it because he’d closed his eyes the second he realized he couldn’t save her. That he’d brought her demise on himself and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it.
A strangled sob broke free in his chest and then gentle hands curled around his cheeks. Soft lips brushed against his and warm thumbs wiped the tears from his face.
“Shh, baby. I’m right here. I’m fine.” She kissed him again and he felt her heat like a comfortable blanket. Not at all like the searing fire that had clamped onto his leg in reality, just over a year ago.
He jolted awake and her face above him was as clear as it had been in his dream. The tears were there too. The fear.
And, just like that, he knew what he needed to do.
“See.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but her lips trembled too much to pull it off. “You were dreaming. I’m fine.”
He nodded and brushed her hand away to take care of his own fucking tears. Goddamn, had he really cried in front of her? Fucking unreal.
His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he levered up and swung his legs over the side of her bed. The clock beside the bed read five a.m.
“You okay?” Her hands and mouth were soft on his back, caressing and kissing him with more tenderness than he was equipped to deal with.
“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat and rubbing a hand back over his hair.
The truth was, he fucking needed her. She gave him something to look forward to when everything seemed like complete and utter shit. But she was the light to his darkness, and if he didn’t let her go, he’d suck every bit of life from her too generous soul. He’d destroy her.
He didn’t want to go at this without her, but he couldn’t do it with her either and, if he knew her at all, she’d go down swinging.
Not at him, but for him.
***
“Look, I know we talked about me staying until dinner, but I think I’m gonna head home instead. I’ve gotta be in Oklahoma again next week and I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of before I go.”
“Oh, okay.” Not okay at all. He was freaking out. Running. Not to mention, he’d tossed and turned all night. He’d be a walking zombie. “Is there something I can do? I mean, maybe I can come do laundry or—”
“No.” Short. Blunt. Cut-off. “I just...I need some space and I don’t wanna be a dick about it, okay?”
She flinched, those words all too familiar. “Sure. It’s been a rough week.”
“It’s not...” He broke off with a grunt, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Look, I need some time, okay? I know I said I wouldn’t be that guy, but...”
That guy? No, she laughed to herself, he doesn’t mean it like that.
“Please don’t look at me like that.” He gave her a sidelong glance, unable to meet her eye and dread fell like a lead weight in her stomach.
Well, hell. He wasn’t that different, after all, was he?
“I told you from the get-go that I wasn’t the guy you thought I was and no matter how hard I try, I can’t be what I want to be for you.”
Her cheeks burned like he'd flicked acid at her, because there was humiliation and there was fucking humiliation. The one man she thought would never...
“Come on, Jenn, this shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
“You’re kidding, right?” She crawled off the bed and skirted around to stand before him, grasping onto whatever composure she could find. She had to be hearing him wrong. “I know this is hard, Brody. I get that losing your grandfather has set you back...maybe even to square one...but I’m not afraid of that. I—”
“I can’t be with you right now. It’s best for both of us if we just—”
“Ahhhhh!” she screamed, slamming her fist into her thigh as hot tears flooded down her face. This wasn’t Brody talking—this was fear and shame and guilt, and he was making rash decisions because he’d gotten so lost in his own head, he couldn’t think straight.
Didn’t matter that she knew exactly what he was doing—it still hurt. God, did it hurt for him to push her away instead of holding on even tighter.
“You weren’t supposed to do this,” she whispered.
“Babe...” He reached for her, the regret so clear on his face that she almost fell for him again.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” She rummaged around in her dresser for something to wear, but all she succeeded in doing was tossing everything out. She couldn’t see. Couldn’t think.
If he left, he might never come back.
“Dammit, don’t make this harder than it has to be—”
“Me? You’re a liar! You said we were in this together!” she cried, painfully aware that it was probably for nothing. “I let you...I trusted you...” She broke, unable to finish the thought, let alone the sentence. She’d given him more than just her body.