“That was some of my worry, yes.” He had to be sure that if things didn’t work out with him and Jenny, he wouldn’t end up back at square one, floundering like a guppy. “Now that I’ve gotten to this point, how do I sustain it? I know Jenn’s got my back, but I don’t want to depend on her, either.” Even though she’d let him in a heartbeat.
“When you’re practicing your meditation, try to focus on your family and other accomplishments you’ve had. Your work—”
“I hate my job,” he interjected, and the doc arched an eyebrow. “I can’t stand the travel. I have family I don’t see nearly enough because I’m either on the road or too damn tired from being on the road.”
“Is this a new development?” The doctor eyed him in that microscopic way that usually made Brody squirm. Not this time.
“No, but I’m not gonna lie—it’s definitely on my mind more now that Jenny’s in the picture.”
“Family is important to you, then.”
“Damn important. This past year has made that very clear.”
“How so?”
Yeah, that’s where it got tricky. He shifted in his seat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I think we’ve already talked about that in a round-about way.”
Dr. Sherman smiled. “I like that you’re making these connections without me having to point them out to you. That awareness is key.”
He nodded again. “I hate that Ernie and Troy will never have the opportunities that I have. I can’t shake that guilt, and I’m not sure I ever will. Hell, Ernie would have been a better father than I could ever dream to be.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, not letting the mental image of his buddy tossing a ball with a couple kids linger too long. “But that’s what I want. To be a dad. A husband.”
The older man’s smile stretched even wider. “You see a future for yourself. You’re not stuck in the past anymore.”
He wasn’t, was he? Was that because of Jenny and the prospect of making something real with her, or was it his individual desire for something more?
“That’s a phenomenal breakthrough, Brody. It may take some time to fully wrap your head around it, and that’s okay.”
He sucked in a deep breath and tried to organize the thought that had been kicking around in his head for the past several days. “I’ve never been one of those people who’s into that hocus pocus fate bullshit. But I can’t help thinking that meeting up with Jenn like we did was some weird universal twist or something. Like she was put in front of me for a reason.”
“Go on.”
“I don’t know what else there is to say. It’s just...we were both in such shitty places in our lives. I was determined not to involve myself with any more complications, but I couldn’t resist the pull to her either. I wanted to, but something wouldn’t let me walk away.”
“What do you think that something was?”
“Ernie. Which sounds totally fucking crazy, I know. But the thing is...she’s exactly the kind of woman he’d go after. Smart, stable, beautiful inside and out...” He scratched a hand around his neck. “She’s everything he wanted and everything I needed, but didn’t know I needed. Hell, if I hadn’t been thinking about him, I would’ve completely missed the deeper connection with her. I would’ve acted on instinct and I would’ve slept with her and fucked it all up. But I didn’t. I stopped and thought about what Ernie would have done.”
The doctor nodded. “Is that what you’re doing now?”
“No. Those first few moments aside, it’s been all me. I’m too damn selfish to let another dude get between me and my girl. I mean, I love Ernie like a brother, but I love her more. Not to mention, the fucker would probably haunt me ten times worse if I let her get away.”
Dr. Sherman threw his head back and let out a roar. “That’s one way of looking at it.”
“I’ve got a second chance here, Doc. A lot of guys don’t get this opportunity. Took me a while to accept that it was mine for the taking, but I finally see it for what it is. My life. My future.”
“Your fate?”
Brody shook his head and grinned. “My choice.”
***
“Ohhh, how about these, sweetie?”
Jenny looked up from the tray of orange geraniums she’d just set in the cart to see her mother fawning over some kind of delicate purple flower. It was gorgeous, but it didn’t look like it’d stand a chance in a single Nebraskan rainstorm, let alone a whole season.
“What is it?” She strode over and fingered the tiny petals. “It smells incredible.”
“I’m not sure. There’s no tag.” Helen lifted a potted square and checked the bottom. “Hmm. Nothing. Take out your phone. Google it.”
Jenny laughed. “I think it’s time we get you a phone of your own.”
“I do like the Facebook.”
Oh, for God’s sake. Maybe a cell wasn’t such a great idea. She glanced around the greenhouse. “I’ll find an attendant. We’ll ask.”
“Ask what? Maybe I can help.”
Jenny’s heart jumped. That sweet voice... She turned and came face to face with Brody’s Grandma Caroline. She looked fabulous in a pretty floral dress, with her silver hair done up in soft curls. “Mrs. Brekowski. Hello.”
“Hello yourself, dear. You’re looking as beautiful as ever.” She extended a hand and Jenny took it without hesitation. Then she wrapped her arms around the petite woman’s shoulders and hugged her tight. “The flower is purple aubrieta, by the way. Very hearty. If you don’t watch it, it’ll take over your entire flower garden.”
“In that case, I’ll take it. I’m not much of a green thumb.” Jenny smiled and stepped back, waving a hand between the two women. “Mom, this is Caroline Brekowski, Brody’s grandma. Caroline, my mother Helen Riley.”
The two women shook hands and made small talk about their selections, the weather, and of course how Jenny looked like she’d lost weight.
“I haven’t. Truthfully.” She rolled her eyes and thought about all the food she’d made at Brody’s last weekend. Most of it she’d froze, so it’d be easy for him to thaw and reheat, but she’d done plenty of sampling. “How are you doing?” she asked Caroline. “I think about you all the time.”
“Well, you know where I live, dear. If you think about me so much, I don’t see why you don’t just come over and check in on me.” The elderly lady winked and Jenny’s cheeks flushed.
“You have a point.” And now that things were looking up for her and Brody, she really had no excuse.
“In fact, since you’re already in town, why don’t you ladies join me for lunch? I haven’t figured out how to cook for myself yet, so I have a big pot of gazpacho I’ll never finish on my own. Jenny, dear, you could grill us a couple cheese sandwiches and we’d be set.”
Helen, who’d been soaking up any bit of social time like it was sunshine, nodded eagerly. “I’d love that. Sweetie?”
“Of course.” She eyed the flats of flowers in Caroline’s cart. “I’d be happy to help you load and unload all of these flowers, too.”
The older woman reached up and patted her cheek. “My grandson is a lucky man. I told him as much the other day, too.”
Jenny gave a small smile. “He calls you often, doesn’t he?”
“Grandmothers do offer the best advice, you know.”
“Advice?”
Grandma B. winked. “All in good time, my dear.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“You’re not kidding, are you?”
Brody shook his head and slid the paperwork across the kitchen table to Sam. “Look it over and tell me what you think.”
“I can’t believe you’re serious.” His buddy glanced over the forms and pushed a hand back through his hair, opening and closing his mouth several times before he spoke again. “This is life changing shit, man.”
“Yep, but it turns out what I thought I wanted isn’t so accurate anymore. You think she’ll be interested?”