I was annoyed by his interference, but I reminded myself that he had my best interests at heart, for I was conscious of having been the subject of one or two pairs of curious eyes, as well as those of Lady Russell, as I rode beside Miss Anne on the way home.
And now, as I sit here at my desk, looking out of the window over the fields surrounding my brother’s house, I feel myself torn as I have never been in my life. A part of me wants to spend all my time with Miss Anne, and yet another part of me feels I should be more circumspect, for she will have to face her neighbours when I am safely back at sea.
And yet, although I am aware of a longing to feel the spray on my face, I am conscious of a growing reluctance to leave the neighbourhood, for Miss Anne is becoming increasingly important to me.
I never expected to find such a woman when I first came to Monkford, for who would expect such a jewel to be tucked away in the country? Or that I would be the man who could make her shine?
Monday 18 August
I accompanied my brother into Uppercross this morning, and as we walked past the Great House I saw Miss Anne, Lady Russell and Mr Charles Musgrove coming towards us.
There was something about Mr Musgrove’s closeness to Miss Anne that I did not like, and I said to Edward, ‘Here are three of our neighbours. I believe the Elliots and the Musgroves are family friends?’
‘They have certainly been long acquainted,’ my brother agreed.
There was a hint of ambiguity in his reply that I did not like, but I thought it better not to refine too much upon the matter. If I pursued it, I felt Edward would look at me askance. But I could not help noticing that Lady Russell did not look at Musgrove with the same jaundiced eye she turned on me.
I said as much to Edward.
‘She likes him well enough in a general way, but if you are meaning that she approves of him as a suitor for Miss Anne, I think you are mistaken. Lady Russell is not eaten up with pride, like Sir Walter, but she knows the value of rank, and I believe she looks higher for her god-daughter. I do not believe she will encourage the match.’
‘He is not a bad sort, I dare say,’ I remarked, generous once I knew he was not a suitor. ‘He is well enough looking, and the property of Uppercross is not negligible. He will probably suit Miss Welling.’
‘You seem very anxious to find him a wife,’ said Edward, amused.
‘It is with Harville marrying. It has set my thoughts running on matrimony,’ I returned.
Her party drew close and we exchanged greetings. My brother and I fell in with them, for we were all going to the high street, and we walked on together. I could see that Lady Russell was not pleased to have met with us, and she endeavoured to engage my attention, leaving Miss Anne to Charles Musgrove. But I was not to be deprived of Miss Anne’s company. I asked her for her opinion on three occasions, and paid attention to her answers, and before anyone could stop us, we were deep in conversation, from which we did not emerge until our paths diverged.
Edward said nothing to me as we went on our way, but he looked at me, and I knew what was in his mind. Again, I had singled out Miss Anne, and again given her my wholehearted attention.
‘How long will you be away for Harville’s wedding?’ he asked me.
‘I go tomorrow, and will be back on Wednesday night.’
He seemed satisfied, for he knew as well as I did that it meant I could not talk to Miss Anne before Thursday.
Tuesday 19 August
I set out early, at a leisurely pace, blessing my horse, who made light work of the hills along the way. I arrived to find Harville in a nervous state, for though he welcomed me warmly, his conversation was punctuated by bouts of high spirits and equally frequent bouts of reflection.
‘You are not regretting it?’ I asked him.
He looked surprised, and I was reassured, for he could not cry off, even if he wanted to.
‘Not at all,’ he said. ‘I am looking forward to it. Only, I am conscious of the fact that, after tomorrow, my life will never be the same again. It has made me unsettled. I cannot see the future—but I dare say it will become routine soon enough. I am surprised you do not follow my example and marry, Wentworth. A bachelor’s life is a dry existence. You should find a good woman, someone you can love and esteem, someone to think about when you are away at sea, and someone to come home to when you are on shore leave.’
‘Not I!’ I replied, though not as heartily as I would have done a month go. ‘I am far too young for such a step, and I have too much of the world still to see. And as for shore leave, I can stay with my brother when I am home.’
‘Not as comfortable as staying with a wife,’ he said.
‘That is true, but a brother is not as hard to leave behind.’
His family were gathered about him, looking forward to the celebration. Benwick and Jenson were there, too, and I thought how quickly the time had gone since we had all met at the naval academy.
‘It is about time you made an honest woman of Harriet,’ said Harville’s brother, laughing at him. ‘You have been sighing over her for long enough!’
‘It is a grave responsibility,’ said his cousin, shaking his head.
‘You speak as though Harville was going to be burdened with command of the Navy, instead of being given the duties of a husband to one pretty woman,’ said Benwick.
‘At least I have my friends to defend me!’ said Harville.
But his peace was short lived. The rest of his family joined in and he was subjected to as many opinions on marriage as there were men in the room.
At last he cried, ‘Enough!’ and begged us all to talk of something else.
But as I retired for the night, I could not put his words from my mind. Follow my example and marry, Wentworth.
At last, feeling restless and knowing I would be unable to sleep, I slipped out of the house. It was a beautiful night, with a balmy breeze, and I made my way by moonlight along the road. As I did so, I thought of how I had felt, a few months ago, when Harville had told me he intended to marry. I had been incredulous, thinking him a fool, for the world was full of pretty young women, and why should he want to swap the smiles of so many for the smiles of one?
But as I stood at the crossroads, I understood.
Wednesday 20 August
Harville was up very early, and full of nerves. He found it impossible to tie his neck-cloth and I had to do it for him. Then he could not get into his coat, and Benwick and I had to assist him. He could not settle to anything, and although we tried to talk to him about his next ship, and his certainty of capturing more prizes as soon as he went back to sea, he did not listen to more than one word in ten.
It was far too early to go to the church, but he insisted we set out, with the result that we waited fifteen minutes at the altar. I thought he would wear his hands away with all the clasping and unclasping he did!
At last Harriet arrived, looking radiant in a satin gown. The service began, and as I watched Harville make his vows, I found that I no longer pitied him. I envied him.
As we emerged from the church, Harriet’s mother was crying, and Harville’s mother and sister were crying, but Harriet was beaming with joy.
We went back to Harriet’s house for the wedding-breakfast. After we had all eaten and drunk our fill, toasted the happy couple and made our speeches, the Harvilles set out on their wedding-tour.