So, instead of riding around aimlessly, that night I parked the bike alongside a field just out of town, took Jess’s hand, and after a hundred steps or so, plopped down on the grass.
With a wary smile, she lay down beside me, her shoulder and arm touching mine.
In silence, we watched the stars. Here, they were shinier than in town, prettier. Incredible how something so little could actually be so big, and be so many miles away. Incredible how big the universe was. Incredible how insignificant I was.
A flutter ran up my stomach. I tilted my head to the side and found Jessica turned to me, her elbow on the grass and her head propped on her hand. Her other hand drew circles on my stomach.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked, her voice low.
How the hell did she know something was wrong?
“Not really.”
She scooted closer and laid her head on my shoulder. “I’m here. When you want to talk.”
I slid an arm under her and pulled her body flush with mine. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, loving her wild rose scent. Her fingers shifted to my chest, making me shiver.
A beautiful night, with a beautiful girl. What else did I need in life?
I sighed. “Sometimes I wonder what I’ll do with my life.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t race forever.”
She tilted her head up and looked me in the eyes. “Why not?”
“Because …” I didn’t have a good answer.
“I don’t see why not. I mean, you’re really good at racing, and even if you don’t make it to the top, you can still work with bikes, can’t you? You love bikes. And you can fix them like no one else in this town.”
I let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Right. Because my father would love to see his son working in a bike shop, covered in grease all day.”
She shrugged, her shoulder digging into mine. “I understand wanting to please your parents—believe me, I know—but sometimes you have to follow your heart. Fixing bikes would be honest work, one that would put food on your table, clothes in your closet, and a roof over your head. Maybe a simple roof, but still a roof, which is more than a lot of people in this country have. Or would you rather be a fancy lawyer or doctor, driving a Ferrari, living in an empty mansion, and completely miserable?”
“I wouldn’t be completely miserable driving a Ferrari,” I joked. She poked her finger in my ribs. “Ouch!”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I grabbed her waist and pulled her up so she was leaning over me. “When did you get so wise?”
She smiled, a naughty thing that twisted my insides. “Well, I’ve always been wise; you’re the one who never paid any attention to me.”
“I was a jerk,” I said, running my hands down her back. “But believe me, I’m paying attention now.”
I rolled us around so I was hovering over her, and stared down at her flushed face shining with the moonlight, her long hair fanned on the grass, her tight body under mine. She was so beautiful, so perfect.
I lowered my body and pressed against her as my mouth melded to hers.
“Hey,” Jason said, appearing from behind the door I had just installed and bringing me back to the present.
“Shit.” I took a step back, willing my heart to slow down.
“I scared you?” he asked, hiding a laugh. I groaned and picked up my jacket from the toolbox. “So, are you done here?”
I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was past seven in the evening. “Not sure. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
I grabbed my bandana from my jacket’s pocket and wiped my forehead with it. “What?”
“Luke, Ethan, and I are going to a race, and we want you to go with us.”
Shit. “You know my answer. When are you going to give up?”
He flashed me one of his big smiles. “Never.”
I walked past him. “You’re a prick.”
Jason shrugged. “No, I’m your friend.” He followed me out of the house, and we walked together to the parking lot. “Are you going to tell me what it’s going to take for you to at least go watch the race with us?”
As if I knew. Instead of answering him, I turned the interrogation around on him. “How are your classes?”
He nodded. “The usual tactic. Changing subjects. Unlike you, I’ll answer the question. Classes just started, but like any summer semester, they are harder.”
“And … how is your father?” I couldn’t care less about Paul, but I knew Jessica had come back because of him. Besides, Jason was my best friend. I didn’t wish for him to lose his father.
“The same. Sleep, sleep, sleep, eat, complain, sleep, sleep, sleep.”
We entered the parking lot and I turned to my car.
Jason followed me. “Seriously, man, you should come with us. It’ll be good for you.”
If he pushed this matter, I would end up punching him square on the nose. I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell or something when his phone dinged.
He fished his phone from the pocket in his leather jacket. “It’s Luke. John arranged another race for him.”
Jealousy crawled through my insides. “That’s great,” I said through gritted teeth. I opened my car door. “Have a good time.” I slipped inside and closed the door before Jason could even say bye.
I peeled from the site and onto the road as jealousy and frustration ate me alive.
Chapter Nine
Jessica
After a quiet dinner with Mama, she retreated to her bedroom, with excuses of being too tired, but I knew she was also concerned. She had stopped by the hospital earlier to see Papa, and the nurse told her his day hadn’t been that good.
I cleaned the kitchen, and then joined Luna on the swing on the back porch.
It was still early, but I knew the bike show should be almost over, being replaced by a party, which could be right on the tracks or at a bar or club around town. My brother, my cousin, and my friends would be there. And I knew Ryan would be there too. Party was his last name. It had always been, even when I refused to see it.
Jesus. My mind kept coming back to him.
Perhaps the girls were right and I did need some closure, though I was sure we had meant nothing to him, which meant there was nothing to close. Still, I felt like I was tied to the past, too many ropes around me. I had to find a way to get free of them, one at a time. And I could start right now.
I dashed inside, picked up the truck keys, and peeked my head inside Mama’s bedroom. “I’m going out.”
“Good,” she said without looking up from the book she was reading, seated on her bed. “You should go out with your friends.”
I didn’t bother correcting her. “Yeah.”
“Have fun.” She smiled, sneaking a glance at me. “And be careful.”
“I will.” I closed her bedroom door, and went into mine.
I put on my flats, picked up a jacket and my purse, and halted before the mirror. My hair was a mess, and I wasn’t in the mood to apply any makeup. Not that it would matter since I wouldn’t be meeting anyone.