Luna trailed after me as I ran to the front door, but I didn’t let her leave. I needed to do this alone. Luna whined, but I didn’t fall for her trick. I locked the door and dashed to the car.
I drove to Lexington Square, the main park downtown, and the place where Ryan and I kissed for the first time. And many more times. This was the place where the magic had started, and where it ended. This is the place I last saw him before leaving town. This was the place everyone last saw me before I left.
I cut the engine of the truck in a parking space around the park.
The sun was setting. Its orange and reddish rays licked the graying sky, only a few clouds spoiling the beauty. It was a gorgeous view, which made me wonder, where was everyone? Oh yeah, at the bike show, silly me. Bike shows were always the main attraction whenever there was one.
I walked to the northern most point of the park, where a small circular plaza overlooked a fountain. I hid under the shadow of a tree around the circle and sat on the pavement, pulling my legs close.
I inhaled deeply, letting the air carry the memories to me. I needed to feel them, to see them, to swallow past them. But they hurt more than I remembered. They scorched their way into me, into my heart, and I gasped, fighting the tears.
I had been too young, too blind, too innocent. If I could, I would have skipped my teenage years. All of them. Nothing good happened until I went to live with my grandma. There, at my new high school, nobody knew me, nobody knew my past, and I was able to start over, to be someone else, someone stronger, wiser.
I wish I had been stronger and wiser before. Maybe then, things would have been different.
Did it really matter? I had already admitted to myself that I wouldn’t have done anything different, so why lie to myself? Yes, there were days I wanted to change the past, there were days I wanted to forget, but deep down I knew it didn’t matter. If I could go back in time, I would have done everything the same, down to my last mistake.
I just wished Ryan had done things differently. I wished my papa had done things differently too. Which was selfish. Ryan and Papa were guilty, but so was I.
Drowning in my thoughts, I startled when a car cut its lights in the parking spot behind the plaza. I didn’t notice it was dark already, and I didn’t even see it arriving.
Not in the mood to be found, by strangers or not, I squirmed closer to the tree, hoping the shadows would hide me.
The person skulked to the plaza, kicking some loose stones, hands buried inside jean pockets. I noticed, by the larger frame, it was a man, wearing a black baseball cap that covered his head. When he stepped into the plaza and looked at the fountain, I recognized that strong chin and that chiseled jaw.
My heart skipped a beat before hammering against my ribs.
Trying to be sneaky, I crawled backward, reaching for the tree trunk. I wanted to retreat, hide behind the tree, and tiptoe back to my car before he could even suspect he wasn’t alone in the plaza.
Instead, my foot rolled over a loose stone and I slipped, hitting my head and back hard on the cement ground. I let out a raw yelp and pressed my eyes shut as if the action would send the pain away.
“Jessica?” Ryan asked. The sound of his rushed footsteps approached me. His hands closed around my upper arms, and he pulled me to sit up. “What happened? Are you okay?”
I rubbed the back of my head. It hurt so much that it had to be bleeding, but when I spied my fingers, there wasn’t any blood on them. The world revolved around me, and I closed my eyes again.
“Jess, talk to me. Are you okay?”
I shook my head, but that rattled my brain loose inside my skull, and I cringed.
Ryan felt my head with gentle fingers. “It’s going to bruise, but it’s not that bad.”
Jesus, this was great. All I wanted was to avoid him, and here we were, together and alone in the square that held too many memories to count. On top of that, I wore simple attire, had no makeup on, had just made a fool of myself, and was now sprawled on the ground, unladylike.
Irritated and embarrassed, I grunted. “You say that because it’s not your head hurting.”
He chuckled and my eyes shot open, even with the pain it brought. His gaze met mine, and his grin died. His lips pressed together and his jaw ticked.
Realizing he was still holding me, Ryan jumped up and retreated a few steps. “What are you doing here?”
With the warmth of his hands gone, a cold trail swept over my skin. What the hell? It was over ninety degrees. At night!
“I could ask you the same thing.” I wanted to stand, but I didn’t think it was a good idea yet. So, I just crossed my legs and took a deep breath, willing the pain away. “This was the last place I thought I would see you. Actually, I was quite sure you would be at the motorcycle thing.”
He looked at the ground and shook his head. “I don’t go to bike shows.”
I frowned and that brought new pain to my head. “That’s what the girls said.”
Quietly, he turned to the fountain again, his gaze distant.
Even hurt, it was hard not to noticed he hadn’t changed that much. His face was still of a bad boy, his gaze was still breathtaking, and his body was still ripped.
But he had changed. He was more ripped now, evident in the way his green T-shirt hugged his torso and arms and exposed the muscles underneath. He had new tattoos on his lower arms and on his neck, and only God, and the women he slept with, knew where else. But he looked much more serious now, and sad.
Fighting the pain and the dizzy spell that overtook me, I stood. “What happened to you?”
He gave me a quick glance over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“You’re different.”
He shrugged, his eyes on the water. “People change.”
Most people changed, but Ryan wasn’t one of them.
I should run away and stay as far away from him as I could, but something nagged at me, some heavy feeling expanded in my chest, and I knew something had happened to him, even if he was trying to pretend nothing had. And I wanted to know what that something was.
I took a step forward, standing beside him, but still several feet away. “So … why aren’t you at the bike show?”
He looked down again and sighed. “Don’t do this, Jessica. Don’t pretend you care when I know you don’t. And you know what?” He turned to me, his eyes hard and cruel. “I don’t want you to.”
I gasped, totally taken aback by the coldness of his stare. He had never, ever looked at me that way.
Before I could recover and snap at him, he spun around and marched toward his Mustang.
Ryan halted. “Shit,” he muttered.
I followed his gaze. To his right, a cop walked down the path to the plaza.
“Mr. Dawson,” the cop said, his hands in his pockets. “Do you know what time it is?”
Ryan grunted. “Yes.”
“Did you forget about your curfew?”
Curfew? What was he talking about?
“No, Officer Mike. I just got caught up.”
I took two steps to the side, so I could look at the cop, and found him staring at me with interest.
“Oh, I see,” the cop said. “Are you trying to get in trouble again?”
“No.” Ryan’s jaw and shoulders were hard.
“Then you should stay away from her,” the cop said.
“What?” I squealed.
“I know.” Ryan fished his car keys from his pockets. “It was an accident. She was here when I arrived and I was just leaving.”
“I see.” The cop glanced at me again, a frown between his brows. “Then I’ll escort you home.”
Without saying another word or looking back at me, Ryan continued to his car, the cop on his heels.
Ryan drove away, and the cop, in his police car, followed him down Main Street.
My knees wobbled, and I almost fell on the ground again.
What had just happened?
Without wasting time, I drove home, relieved to see Jason’s bike in the driveway.