I pulled my hand away. “This girl.”
“Gavin?”
Gavin and I snapped our heads to the new voice. A guy holding a tray with cups and muffins stood beside our table, a girl beside him.
“Hey, Johnny.” Gavin smiled. He shook his friend’s hand in that bumping way guys did it. “Hi, Carla.” Gavin waved at the girl, and then gestured to me. “You two remember Jessica, right?”
Johnny shifted his blue eyes to me. “We met at the party at the frat house last month, right?”
“Yes,” I said, forcing a smile.
Without being invited, Johnny and Carla sat in the booth across the table from us. Immediately, Gavin and the couple launched into a conversation about the latest games, parties, rumors, gossips, and all that. Johnny had been in all of Gavin’s classes since freshman year. For two semesters, they had even been roommates, until Johnny moved to his frat house last semester. Carla was Johnny’s girlfriend of about two years. They were serious; the way Gavin wanted us to be.
Carla flipped her long yellow-blond hair and pulled out her cell phone from her purse. “Smile,” she said, leaning into her boyfriend to take a selfie. He kissed her cheek, while she made a come-hither face with pouted lips and half-closed eyes. Then she turned her phone to us. “You two look too cute together.”
Without warning, she snapped a picture, and I froze.
“Wait. That one didn’t count,” Gavin said. He put his arm around my shoulders and drew me closer. His smile was wide, happy. Meanwhile, my insides revolved and I squirmed. I tried to hide behind my hair. Noticing my evasion, Gavin whispered, “It’s okay, babe, just a quick picture.”
In eight months with him, I had avoided all kinds of pictures. We wouldn’t start taking them now. In fact, I wouldn’t start taking pictures. Ever.
I lowered my head as the flash went off.
“Oh no,” Carla protested. “You’re too beautiful to hide. Come on. Just one more.”
“Hmm.” I searched my mind for some lie, any lie to rescue me from this situation. I didn’t want to take pictures, and I didn’t want to meet Gavin’s friends, much less his family. My cell phone rang, playing the song I had selected for my home number, and I sighed in relief. I was being saved from pictures, but grandma rarely called me.
“Grandma?” I answered. “Is everything all right?”
She exhaled loudly. “Hmm, well … Something happened. Hon, you better come home.”
***
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in?” Gavin asked. He knew my answer. Why did he ask?
“I’m sure.”
During the ride to my house, the tension inside his car was palpable. He tried initiating conversation several times, but I didn’t answer. If I weren’t dying to get home and find out what happened to make my grandma call me, I would have taken the bus or walked home, instead of accepting a ride.
I opened the door and slid a leg out.
“Wait.” He held my wrist and pulled me back. I glanced at him. “I feel like you’re mad at me and I’m not sure what I did wrong. Anyway, I’m sorry, for whatever.” He made puppy eyes at me. “I just want to know you’re okay.”
Subdued, I leaned over his seat and he closed the space between us, merging his lips with mine. His kiss was sweeter than usual, slower, more careful.
“Call me later?” he whispered against my lips.
I nodded and slipped out of the car. With my keys already in hand, I ran the path from the sidewalk to the yellow front door of my townhouse.
“Grandma?” I called after I locked the door behind me.
“In here,” she answered.
I followed the direction of her voice and found her in the kitchen, preparing tea and a snack.
“What’s that for?”
With shaking hands, she placed the mugs, the cracker packet, and the honey bottle on the small wooden table along one of the walls. “Have a seat.”
Damn, this didn’t look good. She never, ever waited for me to get home with treats—especially not honey. I sat down, wary of her movements and the way she avoided my eyes.
“Grandma, you’re worrying me.” Sighing, she sat down across from me and took her mug in her hands. Still, she didn’t look into my eyes. “God damn it, say something already.”
“Your mother called,” she finally said.
What the hell? I never talked to my mama, but I knew she called my grandma all the time, to know about me, of course.
I stood. “This isn’t funny.”
“No, it’s not funny.” She raised her light blue eyes to mine. “Your father is in the hospital.”
I held my breath for a moment. “That’s not my problem.” I winced at my words. I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch, but whenever he was involved, I couldn’t help it.
My grandma sighed. “He’s dying.”
I dropped back into the chair, feeling oddly empty. My feelings for him had been buried for so long that it took me a while to digest the news. “How’s Mama?”
“Trying to be strong, but desolate. They have been together for twenty-eight years. It’s a long time to be with someone and suddenly find out that soon they won’t be together anymore.”
Sadness for Mama filled my chest. “How long does he have?”
“Your mother said five to seven months.”
A pang ran through my chest. That wasn’t long at all. “What now?”
“I think you should go home,” she said.
I shook my head, not liking her reasoning. “Here’s home. It has been for the past four years.”
“I know, I know. I just … If you don’t go, you’ll regret it later.”
A long, shaky sigh escaped my lips. Would I regret it later?
Of course, my grandma was right. I would regret not going, but I wasn’t sure I could say yes just yet.
“I’m not sure I want to see him,” I blurted before I could stop myself.
Grandma gasped. “Jessica Grace Hayes! No matter what happened in the past, he’s your father and he’s dying. That should be enough to make you pack and leave.”
I cringed. Deep down, I knew she was right, but it wasn’t easy. My feelings toward Papa were too repressed, and the words wouldn’t come out. “I need to think. There is still seven weeks before my classes end. Even if I decide to go, I am finishing the semester first.”
With a heavy sigh, my grandma patted my hand. “I’m sure you’ll choose the right path.”
Chapter Two
Jessica
After I turned in my Design Studio project in the architecture building, I waited for Gavin outside the science department building. He was taking his last final exam of the semester and should be out soon.
Seated at one of the benches outside the building, I hugged my books and bit the inside of my cheek, dreading this conversation.
Though he had asked many times over the last two months, I hadn’t told him why my grandma had called me and asked me to come home that day. He didn’t even know it was my grandma who called. He just knew I was needed at home.
A sliver of guilt spread through my chest. Gavin had been so good to me, and I treated him like crap. I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t help it. I wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship. I wasn’t ready to give in, to trust, to open up. Sometimes I thought I would never be.
Someone sat down beside me. “Hey, girl.”
I smiled. “Hey, Kristin.”
She bumped her elbow on mine. “Are you ready?”
“For what? Breaking up with Gavin for good, or going back to South Carolina?”
“Both.”
“Well, I’m not ready for either.”
She put her arm around my shoulders. “One, you’ve been practically playing with Gavin for almost ten months. He deserves to be let go.” I knew she was right. Still, it was hard. Even though I didn’t want a boyfriend, it was good to have someone. He satisfied me, and I satisfied him. What else did a guy in college need? “Two, your grandma is right. You’ll regret it if you don’t go. So stop being worried about it. You’re making the right decision.”