I wiped the unshed tears and stared out the window, not really seeing anything.
Jason’s hand covered mine. “You still didn’t answer me. Are you all right?”
“Not really,” I said, amazed at how honest I was.
“I’m sorry.” He squeezed my hand. “About it all.”
I sighed and returned the squeeze. “Me too.”
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
I heard the truck’s engine roaring to life and driving away as I walked to my place. It was only three blocks away. I had insisted Jason dropped me off before going to pick up Jessica, but he was already late. I had hopes that he would park the car in front of the office and she wouldn’t be there, giving me time to slip out and leave before seeing her.
What I hadn’t expected was to see Jessica and Caryn going at it.
One block from my apartment, I heard her voice and cringed.
“Ryan, wait up,” Caryn said. The sound of her heels clicking on the pavement got closer and closer, until she stopped jogging and walked beside me. “Can you believe that girl? Showing her face in this town after all she did to you?”
I clenched my jaw and fished for my keys, intent on ignoring her before losing my temper.
Giving Caryn my back, I unlocked the garage door then pushed it open. She stepped right in, as if I had invited her.
I suppressed a groan and lunged into work. Working on my Harley always calmed me down. I sat on a low stool beside my bike and started taking some pieces apart.
Caryn leaned against a working table. “How can you even get that close to her like that? Hasn’t she done enough? If I were you, I would even avoid her brother, so not to risk it. And maybe Luke too. After all, they are cousins, and you guys are always together.”
She went on and on, and I tuned her out. It was better than getting angry and yelling at her. It wouldn’t be the first time, but if possible, I would like to avoid it. Most days, I could simply let Caryn be. She would stand by my side, flirt, or talk, but there were days … Shit, she was too clingy, too needy, or just purely annoying.
Like now.
Caryn knelt beside me, her body strategically turned to mine. She ran a finger down my arm. “After all, she was just a game, right? What could an inexperienced child have done for you?” She laughed, her finger sliding down to my stomach. “I, on the other hand, can do a lot of things for you.”
I pried her hand from me and stood. “Leave,” I said simply, not trusting my temper. If I opened my mouth for another word or two, I would say things I would regret.
Her eyes wide, she stood. “What happened?”
I took several steps back. “Just … leave.”
She frowned. “Why do you hate me so much? I have done nothing more than love you. I stood by your side; I was there for you. I am here for you.” She put her hands on her hips and stuffed her chest, jutting her breasts out. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Ryan. Let me take care of you.” She advanced a step and I retreated another. “You can’t—”
“Caryn,” I said through gritted teeth. My jaw was set and my hands clenched. “Leave.”
She must have seen the anger in me, heard it in my voice, because her shoulders sagged and with a huff, she spun around and left.
Finally.
I reached for the compact fridge and grabbed a Coke, wishing, as I always did, that it was a beer. A beer would have been much better for my tension. After downing my Coke, I walked to the garage door, to close it up and work alone for the rest of the evening, but then, a car drove by. A car driven by a guy I didn’t know. A car with Brianna in the passenger seat and Lindsey in the back with another guy.
Pure anger filled me. What the hell was she thinking? Going out on a weekday with some random guy? He probably got his license two days ago and he was already driving chicks around town?
I groaned and punched the wall. The pain helped. The pain pushed through my rage and made me think a little clearer. A little.
There wasn’t much I could do. Even if I chased them down, what would I do? Throw my sister over my shoulder and take her home? Ground her? That wasn’t my job. I just hoped Mom knew where B was and with whom.
Shit. I was the worst big brother. Great example of that was Tommy. At nineteen, he was going to college, but only two or three classes because he needed time to party.
I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. I needed some fresh air. I eyed my bikes, both of them busted and un-rideable. Good thing too, because I hadn’t ridden a bike in four years and I wouldn’t start now.
I grabbed the keys for my Mustang from the hook on the wall and closed the garage door. Hopefully, lowering all the windows would feel like riding a bike.
Yeah, right.
***
Jessica
After Jason dropped me at home, he left again, probably to meet Ryan. I barely said hi to Mama before locking myself in the bathroom and sinking in the tub for at least half an hour. Keeping my mind blank was hard. The memories rushed to me every single second I was alone.
The day I came home after spending the summer with grandma, Ryan was in the driveway with Jason, Luke, and Ethan, tuning his bike before a race. Shirtless. I stepped out of Mama’s truck, and he looked up, right at me. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. I swallowed the big grin that wanted to break out on my lips and marched past him, saying a quick hi. He kept his eyes on me until I entered the house.
The day at the park, when he said I was beautiful and kissed me for the first time. The next day, Jason found out about it, punched Ryan, and warned him to stay away from me.
The first time Ryan sneaked into my bedroom window and spent the night with me.
Then the day everything went to hell.
I shot out of the tub as if the water had burned me. Mama was downstairs, cooking as always. We had a quiet dinner, even though my blood was still boiling. After cleaning the kitchen, Mama alleged having a headache and went to her bedroom.
I went to mine to call Kristin.
“I need to tell you something,” I said, sitting down on my bed. I scooted to the headboard where I propped my back on a pillow, and reached for the sketchpad and pencil on my nightstand. “Do you have a few minutes?”
“I just got home and having nothing to do,” Kristin said. “I’m all yours for the next hour or two.”
“So …” I sighed. “It’s about my past.”
“I guessed that much.”
I took a deep breath. My pencil moved against the sketchpad as my words came out. “I was in love with my brother’s best friend forever, but since I’m three years younger, he never thought of me as more than a little brat, almost like his own little sister. But something changed when I was sixteen and spent the summer away. When I came back, it was like Ryan saw me for the first time. Honestly, I don’t know what changed.”
“Did your boobs show up that summer?”
I chuckled. “Not really. My boobs had been growing at a nice pace since I was twelve, I think. But I guess I did have a growth spurt or something between fifteen and sixteen. My curves were becoming more pronounced, I guess?” I shrugged, though she couldn’t see me. “Anyway. So, when I came back, he paid more attention to me. When Jason wasn’t looking, Ryan flirted with me, and even knowing he was a manwhore, I couldn’t help it. I flirted back.” My drawing gained a stone floor. “I guess I didn’t really believe I had a chance with him. I mean, he was nineteen and had every girl in town at his feet. Why would he care about little sixteen-year-old me?”
“Because you’re beautiful and when you let go of that sulk, you’re funny, kind, responsible, smart, fr—”
My pencil stopped moving. “You’re not helping.”
“Sorry,” she muttered. “But it’s true.”