A flutter made my heart beat faster. Had he been jealous? Why would he? But if not, then why would he act that way?
Other questions took hold of my mind. The guys insisted Ryan shouldn’t fight, and Ethan mentioned something about only four months. What the hell did that mean? I was going to ask Jason about it first thing tomorrow, even though I knew what he would say—that I had to ask Ryan. Well, I tried and he wasn’t saying anything. I had to find another way to find out what happened to him.
Not wanting to break the party, I stayed with the girls, but it was like only half of me was here. Rachel noticed right away, of course, but other than her knowing eyes, she said nothing.
***
Ryan
Jason followed me until I parked my car inside the garage and crossed the front door of my apartment. But once he drove away, I raced back to my car and drove to my parents’ house. At some point, Jessica would have to drop Brianna off, and my sister would finally hear what I had to say.
I leaned against my car and waited. My mind betrayed me and went back to the club. I closed my eyes and saw Jessica on the dance floor, her body moving with the beat, an inexplicable grace to her movements, her curves so sensual and inviting. No wonder drunk Noah hit on her. Rage rolled in my chest. Fuck, I had almost lost it back there. If it weren’t for Jason, Luke, and Ethan, I would have pummeled Noah, and then I would be in big trouble.
I shook my head. Everything was going so well. I was able to control my rage, to live one day at a time, one hour at a time, doing what I was told to do. I had been able to suck it up, to hide my feelings, to push them back. Until she came back and brought everything with her, every feeling, every regret.
The sound of an approaching car alerted me, and I opened my eyes. It was Jessica and Brianna. Lindsey wasn’t with them. Jessica must have dropped her cousin off first. It made sense, since my parents’ house was closer to hers than her cousin’s house.
She parked the truck in front of the driveway. Brianna leaned into her for a hug, and then slipped out the car.
“What you have to say, I don’t want to hear,” Brianna said. She walked in a wide arc around me.
I stepped in front of her, cutting her path. “You’re my little sister. If I want to say something, you’ll listen.”
“Ryan, it’s almost two in the morning. If you really need to be a jerk, can you do it tomorrow?”
She started walking again, but I grabbed her arm.
“You’re going to listen to me.”
“Hey,” Jessica called out. She was out of the truck and marching toward me with a big frown. “Let her go, Ryan.”
Brianna jerked her arm back and rushed inside the house. What was I doing? Grabbing my sister and barking at her? If my anger was this uncontrollable, it was because of her.
I glared at Jessica. “You have no right to come between my sister and me.”
“This is ridiculous, Ryan. She was talking to a friend; she only drank Sprite. I know because I checked every few minutes, and she danced with me. What’s so wrong about that?”
“She’s only sixteen.”
Her eyes widened. “If I remember correctly, that didn’t seem to matter four years ago.”
That was different. Wasn’t it? I didn’t know anymore. “Why do you keep bring the past up?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “When are you going to tell me what happened to you after I left?”
I opened my mouth to tell her to go to hell, but the words didn’t come out. I shut my mouth before I said something else I regretted.
She shook her head. “We can’t keep doing this, Ryan.”
“This what?”
“Walking on egg shells around each other. We’re only making ourselves more frustrated and angrier, and we’re putting stress on our friends. I already said this the other day. This is a small town, and I’ll be here for the next two months.”
I strode past her, toward my car. “And I’m gonna say what I told you the other day. It’s better if you stay away from me.”
When she spoke again, her voice was soft, as if she really cared. “What happened to you, Ryan? Tell me. I need to know.”
I whirled around and was surprised to see her only a couple of feet from me. “Why do you need to know?”
“Because … you don’t ride your bike anymore, and you have curfews, and you seem like you’re still carrying whatever bad thing happened on your shoulders, and it’s dragging you down.” She took a step forward, making us closer. I was aware of her body, and how I could extend my arm and touch her. “I’m not a bad person, Ryan. I might still hate you for what you did to me, and for a long time, I wanted you to suffer for it, but the truth is … I don’t like to see you hurting.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Her blue eyes were fixed on mine, and I could see she was speaking the truth. She didn’t like to see me hurting. But … I had hurt her. She should be happy I was hurting.
A new feeling fought for space against the lust, the rage, and the frustration. A feeling I thought I had lost once she was gone. A feeling I hadn’t realized I had missed.
“Jessica—”
The front door flew open with a bang and Jessica jumped back.
With a thin robe over his pajamas, my father marched down the front steps, his harsh gaze on Jessica.
“What is she doing here?” He pointed a finger at her. “You can’t be here. You were a disgrace to my son.”
Jessica paled. “I …”
I clenched my fists. “Dad, you’re going too far.”
My father huffed. “Am I? Look at the mess you are. All because of her.” His words were laced with venom, and I could see Jessica becoming sicker by the second. “Leave, girl. Leave now. And you better stay away from my son. Do you hear me?”
“Dad! Stop it.” I stepped in front of Jessica. “You can’t talk to her like that.”
I was ready to defend her. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but it was too late. Jessica ran to her truck and peeled away from the curb as if the ground were on fire.
“Hear me, boy,” my father started. “If I see her near you again—”
“What, Dad, what? You’re gonna ground me?” It was hard to rein in all the rage swimming freely through me. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Everyone makes mistakes. Mine were a little bigger than the norm, and I’m paying for them. When are you gonna get over it?”
I didn’t wait for an answer. My instinct told me to bolt, so I turned my back on him and took firm steps to my car.
An immense will to race assaulted me. I needed to work off my anger, to waste it somehow. Thank goodness, it was too late for races, and most clubs in Columbia were closing.
Without anything else to do, I drove to my apartment and lay in my bed with a full glass of Coke, pretending it was blissful Jack.
Chapter Sixteen
Jessica
Sunday afternoon, Mama insisted we visited my father, even if he was sleeping.
“I don’t spend much time with him,” she said, and the guilt was clear in each of her words.
I had no excuses not to go. After all, I had come here because of him. However, Jason rattled something about visiting Dad yesterday and left the house before Mama could inflict guilt on him too.
Mama drove the truck, and as we passed familiar streets, I remembered last night. The way Ryan watched me, his tense body, his words. I didn’t understand him. One minute he was stomping over me like I was the last thing he wanted to see, then he was acting like a jealous boyfriend. And what about his father? I was a disgrace to Ryan? What happened to him was about me? My curiosity had skyrocketed now.
We arrived at the hospital, and the nurse at the nurse’s station smiled.
“I was about to call you, Corrine,” she said. “Your husband is awake.”