This time, I freed my hand from hers. “You’re unbelievable.” She told him the guilt was eating me? She had no right!
“Ryan …”
The game had stopped and Brody walked to us. The limp was barely noticeable then.
“Ryan Dawson,” he said, his voice flat, just like the expression on his face. “I never thought I would see you again.”
“Likewise,” I said.
“Hi, Brody.” Jessica stepped in. “I’m Jessica.”
“Hello, Jessica, nice to meet you.” He shook her hand, his expression a little softer.
“Thanks for letting us come,” she said.
He nodded. I stared at him, totally at a loss for words. I had so many questions, so many doubts, but I wasn’t sure I was welcome to ask anything. After all, the guy probably hated me.
“I heard you spent quite some time in jail.” Brody broke the silence. “And you are now on parole.”
I nodded. “Parole and community service.”
“For how long?”
“Just three more months,” I said. “Man, I … I …” I didn’t know what to say. How to say it.
“It wasn’t easy, you know. I heard from several doctors that I would probably never walk again. A few told me, I might be able to stand and shuffle with a walker, if I worked hard. They might have mentioned a miracle too, but I was too deep in hatred then. I shrank into myself for months. The only thing I did was sit on the couch and eat. That, and snap at my family. I seriously thought my girlfriend, Diana, would leave me and my parents would send me away to one of those boarding-like clinics. Until one day, when Diana came home and showed me a documentary of a guy who had lost his legs in Iraq. He never gave up. He found a way to pull himself around the house, to do all the normal things a person does. Of course, he couldn’t go to work or ride a bike or run anymore. But if he could adapt, if he could evolve, so could I, you know. I found Dr. Morse here in Columbia. He loves challenges and he took me on right away. Shortly after I started working with him, I was standing. It took me only a couple of months to walk, and a couple more to run. A true miracle with a large side of hard work.”
“That’s wonderful,” Jess said.
“Yeah, I think so too. The hatred is gone. And hopefully, soon, this limp will be gone too.”
The guilt and shame overwhelmed me, and I blurted, “I’m so sorry, man. I know I said it before, though you didn’t want to hear it at the time, but I am. I’m truly sorry.”
Brody nodded. “I know.” He gestured to his legs. “And as you can see, I’m okay now. Not a hundred percent yet, but I’m getting there.”
“I’m glad.”
The guys on the court called him.
“I’m coming,” he shouted back. “I should get back to the game.” He patted me on the arm. “Just so you know, I forgave you a long time ago. I hope now you can forgive yourself.”
He strutted to the court and the game resumed.
I stared for a moment longer, not believing what had happened. I was afraid that if I moved, I would wake up in my bed and all this would have been a dream.
Jessica rested her hand on my back.
A new feeling exploded in my chest. Reason would tell me to suppress it, to ignore it, to shut it down, but reason was the last thing I was listening to now.
I turned to Jessica, wrapped my arms around her, pulled her to me, and crashed my mouth on hers. She didn’t resist. She didn’t fight back. Her lips parted, giving me access, and her arms wound around my neck. I kissed her slowly, savoring her taste, how well her mouth melded with mine, how her body seemed made to fit mine. Desire ran through my veins and I deepened the kiss, drawing a moan from her. Fuck, I had forgotten. I had forgotten how I could drown in her kisses, how I could immerse myself in her scent, in her touch. I had forgotten the good she did me, how she made me want to be a better man.
Wanting more of her, I slipped my hand under her top, eager to feel her skin.
Jessica jumped back. She stared at me, her eyes wide.
“Jess.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Just take me home,” she said.
She marched to my car and I followed. Fuck, what had I done? All the progress we had made, all the damn closure she wanted, all down the drain because I couldn’t control myself with her.
The twenty-five-minute drive back to Lexington was tenser than the ride with Jason. I peeked at her a few times, but she was staring out the window, lost in thought. Probably hating me for kissing her when she was taken. Damn, she had a boyfriend. I might want to tattoo that on my forehead so I wouldn’t forget anymore.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I stopped the car in front of her house. Immediately, she opened the door and stepped out. But before she could get completely out, I closed my hand around her wrist.
“Jess …” She glanced at me over shoulder, her eyes gleaming with wariness. Shit. “Thank you. For contacting Brody and taking me to see him.”
“You’re welcome,” she whispered.
Reluctantly, I let go of her arm and she exited the car. She rushed to the front door and didn’t look back once as she unlocked the door and entered her house.
I punched the wheel. Damn it. How would I fix this now?
Chapter Twenty-One
Ryan
My cell phone rang in the middle of the morning. I would have answered it, if it weren’t for Noah’s glare. Yeah, yeah, because of the storm, we were way behind schedule, and answering phones in the middle of work would only disrupt our current progress.
At lunchtime, everyone gathered in folding chairs in front of the main trailer. Jessica, Jason, Corinne, Luke, Lindsey, Ethan … everyone was here. Even Alan and his employees. Apparently, they would work here until tomorrow and go back to their office on Monday. As much as I missed the silence, I couldn’t argue that their help had been invaluable. What would have taken us maybe two months of hard work to recover would probably take less than a month now.
Jessica sat beside Sophie and Rachel. She had a sandwich in her hand, but she stared at the horizon, completely lost in her thoughts.
This morning, she only waved hi at me from a distance. Nothing else. Jason slapped the back of my head and asked me what the hell I did to make her withdraw into herself again.
I just shrugged, but he knew. Somehow, he knew, and he slapped me again for it.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to fix the situation. My only choice was to avoid being too close to her and everyone else. That was why I drove away from the site during lunchtime.
After passing through a Hardees’ drive thru, I parked my car under the shade of a big tree around the square, and finally reached for my phone.
A call from Ethan’s uncle. But why?
I didn’t waste time and I called him back.
John picked up on the second ring. “Ryan, hi.”
“Hey, John. Sorry I didn’t pick up your call. I was working.”
“I understand. How are things going?”
I opened my mouth to say they were the same, but it wasn’t true. Having Jessica here was wreaking havoc in my core, but the rest—everything she was doing—was great. “I’m doing better, I think.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“So, what can I help you with?”
“When does your parole end?”
“November.”
He tsked. “That’s a shame.”
“Why?”
“You know I have been training Luke for the Roebling Race in Georgia at the end of August. I was hoping you were free by then. Maybe we could try it again.”