An uneasy feeling revolved in my stomach. “Sure,” I said, though my hands began to shake.
Noticing my discomfort, Rachel nodded at me. If I analyzed this too much, I would think she was asking me to take a picture—again—to help me with my trauma. So far, I couldn’t say it was helping, but who knew? Maybe after she had me take about a hundred, I would be over it.
I raised the phone between us and fit them both on the screen. They looked so great, so happy, and they would probably post that picture everywhere with a ‘what a great night with my bestie’ caption, and I wouldn’t be in it. Jealousy stirred in my chest, quickly followed by anger. Anger for not being over this fucked-up trauma.
I snapped the picture and returned the phone to Rachel before I threw it at the wall, as if it was responsible for my hang-ups.
“Thanks,” Rachel said.
Beside her, Sophie lost her smile and her eyes went wide. “Uh-oh,” she said.
“What?” I snapped my head back and saw what she meant.
Caryn strutted into the bar with two other girls. They all dressed similarly: a short, too tight dress, with their breasts almost spilling from the ample cleavage, hooker heels, and too much makeup.
Without faltering, Caryn weaved back to the pool tables and halted beside Ryan, putting her arm on his back. Nausea rolled in my stomach. Ryan stepped to the side. They were talking. What would I give to be a fly right now?
What was I thinking? I shook my head and tried to focus on my friends.
“I swear, she has a where-is-Ryan sensor,” Rachel said. “She’s always where he is.”
A force pulled me, and I dared to glance at them again. Ryan took a shot with Caryn right by his side. As he stepped back from the table, she put her hand on his arm. He jerked his arm away, but turned to talk to her.
I lowered my eyes, unsure I could watch anymore. The waiter passed us, and I asked for another shot of tequila.
“Easy on those,” Sophie said.
“I just need to take the edge off,” I complained.
The girls tried to keep my mind off the pool corner by telling me about their colleges, the cute guys, the parties, and things like that. I swear, I wanted to give them one hundred percent of my attention, but I was only half-listening. The other half of my brain was battling between spying on Ryan and Caryn, or not.
It shouldn’t matter. I was leaving in ten days. Soon, this town would be behind me. I would move on and forget about this summer. What Ryan did was none of my business. He could get together with whomever he wanted. I had done all I could to help him, and I hoped it had helped, because it certainly had helped me. My conscious was clean.
I was so into my thoughts, I didn’t see the guys approaching with chairs until they were all seated around our table with us. Thankfully, Jason sat on my left and Luke sat on my right. Ryan sat between Luke and Sophie.
And where was Caryn? I looked around and met her fuming gaze. She was beside the pool table, her arms crossed and her evil eyes on me.
Whatever.
The group engaged in conversation. It was nice to see they all were friends and got along well. I felt like an extra piece of the game, one that could be tossed aside and wouldn’t be missed. The worst part was that I had been the one to toss myself aside in the first place, and now I found it hard to fit again.
I glanced at Ryan. Like me, he was quiet too, only interjecting when necessary. Every so often, he looked at me. This time, his eyes looked up from me and around. I didn’t need to follow his gaze to know he was looking at Caryn. She made her presence known when she strolled behind me and sat down at the table beside ours.
Damn.
The waiter came for another round of beer, and a Coke for Ryan, and I asked for another tequila. Sophie and Rachel shot me worried glances, but I didn’t care. This was too much. I would drink until the edge was off, and I didn’t care about Ryan and Caryn, or I would leave. Knowing they would ask me to stay, I went with my tequila.
I confess that after three shots of tequila, my mood improved. Or maybe it was the cloud muffling everything in my brain. It didn’t matter. At least I wasn’t about to claw Caryn’s eyes out anymore.
When I realized, Luke and Ethan were gone. I scanned the room and found Luke by the bar, talking to a girl, and Ethan was playing pool again.
Ryan took Luke’s seat. “Hey.”
I nodded. “Hey, yourself.”
“I didn’t see you at the site today.”
“Yeah, I had stuff to do.” I picked at my nails, staring at them as if they were the most interesting thing in the room.
“I see.” He leaned forward, bringing his torso an inch or two closer to me.
I leaned back in my chair, keeping some distance. “Everything all right today?”
“Yes, yes. Things are going well. In fact, I need to talk to you about it.” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the bangs away from his eyes, but they fell back a moment later. “I want to th—”
“Ryan!” Caryn shouted. She scooted between Ryan’s chair and mine. “There you are, baby. I was thinking about our conversation earlier—”
“Caryn,” Ryan said.
“—and I don’t agree with you. I think—”
“Caryn,” he repeated through gritted teeth.
“—I may have something to convince you otherwise.” She slid her hands down her waist to her hips and shifted her weight, pushing her ass back and forth.
I put a hand on my stomach, certain that I would be sick.
“Caryn,” Ryan tried again.
“Oh, here.” She offered him a closed bottle of beer. “You can drink while we talk.”
He stared at the bottle, probably shocked by her stupidity. Or he really wanted a sip.
I couldn’t witness this. I stood and bumped my arm into Caryn’s back.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, stepping away.
“Sorry?” she asked. “Look at me when you apologize, bitch.”
I let the alcohol in my veins win and turned to look at her with a half-grin. “I only see one bitch in this bar, Caryn, and I’m certain it isn’t me.”
“Is that so?” She dropped the bottle on the table and took a step toward me. “Then why have you been after Ryan like a lost puppy?”
Ryan stood. “Caryn, enough.”
“I’m after him like a lost puppy? Really? You’re the one who is always all over him, even when it’s obvious he wants to be far from you.”
“That’s what you tell yourself, so it won’t hurt as much.”
“You’re delirious.”
Jason stood too. “Jess, ignore her.”
“No, princess,” Caryn continued. “You’re the one deluding yourself here. Do whatever you want to have him at your feet. In the end, you’ll leave and I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, to put him back together.”
“Caryn,” Ryan said, a snarl in his voice. “Drop it.”
“What? It’s the truth. She comes in here all self-righteous. At first, she’s mad at the world. Then when the world doesn’t give a shit, she changes tactics and goes after you.”
“Caryn, shut up,” I hissed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What, bitch? Did I say something that wasn’t the truth?”
I clenched my fists. “Call me bitch one more time …”
“Bitch!” she shouted. “Cow, tramp, slut!”
My blood boiled and I jumped on her. Ryan shot out an arm and pulled me back, drawing my back into his chest.
I jerked against him. “You’re the bitch, Caryn. You are.”
She came at me. This time, Jason stepped in the way. “Enough, Caryn,” he said, keeping her back.
Caryn’s friends came to her aid, and Sophie and Rachel jumped to their feet to intervene.
Ryan retreated, taking me away from Caryn, and I kept twisting in his arms, trying to get free so I could finally claw her eyes out.
“Stop it,” he hissed in my ear. “Everyone is watching.”