A tear rolled down my cheek. “I’m sorry too, Papa.”
“It’s okay.” He took another long breath. “I just want you to know I love you and I’m proud of you.”
I stifled a sob. “I love you too.”
He patted my hand and withdrew his arm. “Home with family,” he repeated, closing his eyes.
“Papa?” I asked, worrying about his condition. He didn’t answer, but I could see the slow up and down of his chest and the steady beeping of his heart monitor.
Well, I knew he was sleeping a lot, but still, his outburst had surprised me. I hadn’t expected him to wake up, let alone give me a long speech.
I sank in the chair as a couple of tears fell.
The fact that Ryan had come here and talked to Papa about me boggled my mind. Why would he do that? Did he think he had to repay me for the things I did for him? I had told him it wasn’t out of pity, and it certainly wasn’t because I wanted something in return. I had acted the way I thought was right, the way it made me feel better. Still, I was glad he had come and practically defended my honor. If it wasn’t for his visit, my father might still not have forgiven me, and I wouldn’t feel like a boulder had been lifted from my chest.
I took a deep breath. It was nice, this light, free feeling. The only thing that could make this moment better was if a doctor walked in and told me Papa was miraculously cured.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ryan
I wrapped my tie around my neck and stood in front of the mirror. Black suit, black tie, black shoes, and a white shirt. I didn’t remember the last time I had worn one of these.
I was working at Habitat for Humanity last evening when Luke called me to let me know.
“Paul died this afternoon,” he said.
Pain cut through my chest, not for the man I barely knew, but for his daughter, for his son, and for his wife. I called Jason right away. He answered, but said no more than two or three words. I almost went over to their house last night, but Luke assured me they needed some time on their own.
Finally, I got the tie knot right and closed my suit jacket as a rap came from the door.
“Come in,” I yelled.
Ethan opened the door. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah.” I grabbed my phone and wallet from the kitchen counter and headed to the door with him.
We didn’t speak much as I drove us to the church. The place was packed. Probably the whole town had come to pay their respects to the man who slapped his daughter in public and made her run away. I shook that thought from my head. Yes, I had hated the man, but he was still Jason’s and Jessica’s father, and the fact that sweet, kind Corinne loved him must count for something.
It took a long time, but we reached the front of the church, where the family was gathered. Seated between her children, Corinne looked dazed, as if she had taken something strong to calm her down. Acting like a macho, Jason fought the tears in his eyes, and Jessica clutched her mother’s hand, her glassy eyes fixed on the coffin. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and her skin was pale. It was obvious she hadn’t slept the previous night. The three of them probably didn’t.
Ethan and I halted in front of them. Jason stood and we hugged. I patted his back and he patted mine.
“I’m so sorry, man,” I whispered.
He nodded, before stepping back and turning to Ethan. I thought I would pay my respects to Corinne next, but Jessica stood instead.
“She’s out of it,” she said, her voice low.
For half a second, I considered shaking her hand, but then I saw the sad glint in her eyes and lost it. I wound my arm around her waist and pulled her to me. Her arms knotted around my neck as she rested her face on my shoulder. I ran a hand up and down her back as she cried.
“I’m sorry, Jess,” I whispered. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
She stepped back and wiped her tears. “Thank you.” She kissed my cheek, her soft lips lingering on my skin, and the urge to pull her to me again was almost too hard to contain. I wanted to console her, to support her, to stand there and hold her—if she would allow me.
Then she turned to Ethan and hugged him.
I couldn’t help but notice her arms went loosely around his shoulders, and that she didn’t bury her head in his shoulder or cry. She also didn’t kiss his cheek.
Ethan nudged me and I finally moved. Walking down the side aisle to the back, we saw Luke, Lindsey, and their mother. My sister, Brianna, was with Lindsey. A few pews back, we saw Sophie and Rachel.
Ethan and I found a spot in the back as the ceremony began. I hated these things. They were too gloomy, too sad. And it was so much worse when Jason stood and went to the front to talk about his father. His voice broke several times. I thought maybe Jessica would speak too, but she didn’t. Neither did Corinne. Understandable in her state. A few more people spoke—work colleagues, cousins, and friends.
After the ceremony, we all walked the grounds where the reverend spoke a few more words before lowering the coffin into the ground. That was when Corinne broke down and Jason had to take her in his arms. Jessica looked worried about her mother, but Rachel and Sophie were beside her, holding her up.
If it depended on me, the day would be done, but no. Close friends and family moved from the cemetery to the Hayeses’ house.
When Ethan and I arrived, Corinne was on the couch being checked by a doctor, and Jessica was seated at her mother’s side, talking to the doctor. Across the room, Jason had a glass of whiskey in his hand.
Cadence, Luke’s mother, ran around the living room, making sure everyone was okay, and Lindsey helped her.
I felt like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never liked Paul, not after he hit Jessica in front of half of the town. He didn’t deserve my respect, but I wasn’t here for him. I was here for my best friend and for his sister—the girl I loved.
Loved.
That realization hit me hard in the chest, and I gasped. It was ridiculous really, because the feeling had been there all the time. It only intensified when she came back and then even more when she started spending time with me. And the other night … I blew out a breath and ran a hand through my hair. Shit, I loved her. With all my heart and soul. And this time, I needed her to know that.
Maybe now wasn’t the right time to talk to her about us, but I could at least be by her side, like a strong pillar, to support and care for her.
Leaning against a wall outside the kitchen, I had a good view of the entire first floor, but I didn’t see her anywhere.
“Take this to Jessica,” Cadence said in the kitchen, handing a small tray with a teacup and a plate of cookies to Lindsey. “She hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon as far as I know.”
Carrying the tray, Lindsey exited the kitchen and scanned the living room, looking for her cousin.
Lindsey started walking toward the stairs, but I stepped in her way. “I can take this to Jessica.”
She stared at me with wide eyes, but didn’t protest as I took the tray from her and climbed the stairs. Jessica’s bedroom door was closed. I knocked once. Twice.
“Jess?”
No answer.
Slowly, just in case she was sleeping, I opened the door. Jessica was seated on her bed, her back against the headboard and her knees drawn to her chest. Her face was tilted to the open window.
I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. I looked around. Being inside her room again was surreal. It was exactly as I remembered, except for the lack of pictures. She had loved photos. They had been spread everywhere.
“What happened to the pictures?” I asked, approaching the bed.
She winced. “Let’s say I had a traumatic experience with pictures almost four years ago,” she said, her voice detached.
I placed the tray on her nightstand. “Your aunt sent this. She said you haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Jessica shrugged. I sat beside her, picked up the plate of cookies, and put it right under her nose. “You have to eat, Jess.”