“Yeah,” she agreed, her stomach nervous. This wasn’t like her mother’s situation, where she had no options and a child to care for. She had a job, a house, a considerable savings account. She could even go back to work as a nurse.
She wasn’t trapped. Not to mention she had legal protection in the form of the pre-nup.
“So how are you going to handle this shit with Cris?” Loren asked.
She shrugged. “I don’t want to think about that right now.” She’d desperately tried to not think about it all day.
Landry had also bought fixings for their dinner, declaring he would cook for her. He proved to be a damn good cook. She helped him clean up the kitchen before they retired to the bedroom to watch TV and talk. He stretched out, on his side, and held her close.
“Time for our promised talk, love.”
She closed her eyes. “Okay.”
“First of all, the easy part. Do I need to wear a condom?”
She bristled. “I’m clean. I told you, I haven’t been with anyone since Cris. I got tested after he left to make sure the son of a bitch didn’t give me something.”
He kissed the nape of her neck. “I meant for birth control. Unless you took them when I wasn’t with you, I never saw you do it, and there are no packs in your bathroom.”
Her face reddened. “It’s not an issue. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why?” he softly asked.
“Landry—”
“Please. I won’t force you. Can’t force you to tell. I do want to know.”
She rolled to face him and buried her face against his chest. “Because of what he did to me.”
“Not Cris.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Not Cris,” she agreed.
He stroked her back. “All right, love. You’re safe with me. Let it out. Please.”
She took a deep breath. “When he raped me, I had internal injuries. Bleeding and infection and scarring. They told me I can’t have kids.”
Landry held her more tightly and nuzzled the top of her head. “Talk to me,” he coaxed. “Tell me everything and I will never ask you to talk about it again if you don’t wish to.”
As stupid as it was, she did feel safe with him. They had a common bond, right or wrong. She told him the story, of the nightly visits that started when she was fourteen. Her step-father molested her, had her get him off, and it continued every night for several weeks until the night he brutally raped her.
“I couldn’t tell my mom,” she whispered. “He threatened to kill both of us if I told her or went to the cops. Said no one would believe me, that he’d tell people he’d caught me with booze and drugs, and that I was lying to get even. I never even drank in high school. He was a fucking bully. Abusive.
Used to beat the crap out of her. He ran when he realized how badly he’d hurt me, how bad I was bleeding. Took them three weeks to find him.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died before I met Cris. I was at work after school, and she had to go to the pharmacy to get her medicine refilled. She had asthma really bad, so bad she could only work part-time and was on partial disability and stuff too. That’s why she stayed married to the fucking asshole for as long as she did. She thought she had no options.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. “The pharmacy was only two blocks away from where we lived, so she walked because I wouldn’t be home for several hours and I had the only car. Hit and run driver got her when she was crossing the street.”
“Did they catch them?”
“Yep. Two days later. Little rich asshole. His buddies tried to lie for him and say his car was stolen, but they eventually proved he’d been out drinking before.” She tipped her head back to look into his eyes. “I fucking sued the pants off his goddamn family for it, too. My mom deserved better than that. I used the money to get me into college.”
“What about your father?”
She frowned. “What about him? He left my mom when she found out she was pregnant. She was only seventeen when she had me, he was in his twenties. I have no clue where he is, and I could give a shit.”
They talked for hours, until after ten that night. When she yawned, he realized exactly how tired she must be, how stressed from talking about all the old garbage.
Such a strong woman, incredibly so. He stroked her chin. “Let’s go to sleep, love. We have a long day tomorrow and an even longer night.”
Her eyes searched his. “No playing tonight, huh?”
“How about a nice romantic cuddle to save our strength?”
“What happened to breaking in our new bed?”
“I truly need a good night’s sleep. I have a feeling it will get more than a thorough breaking in over the next few days.” He kissed her. “If I have my say, I won’t let you out of it any more than necessary.”
“You don’t have to pretend if you don’t feel it.”
“Have you not heard a word I’ve said to you?” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his cock, which had grown hard. “If I wasn’t interested in you, I wouldn’t have that now, would I?”
She grinned. “Oh, come on, let’s play.”
He bent his mouth to her neck and nipped, more than just a playful tease. “Love, it is all I can do not to fuck you this second, believe me. I already told you I wish to do this properly.” He lifted his face so he could gaze into her eyes. “Besides, I would prefer our very first time to be when he can hear the lovely moans I know you’ll make as I take you and make you mine. I want him to see my face and hear the sounds I’ll make. I want that pain to cut through his soul in a way he won’t soon forget.
Perhaps that will remind him to think before he acts in the interests of others without talking to them about it first. I want to look into his face as I slide my cock inside you and see the pain in his eyes and know he truly understands what he did to us.”
“You don’t have to do this on my account, you know.”
He smiled. “I know. I’m doing it on mine. I have my pride.”
“Aaaaand you’re a sadist.”
“Well, there is that, of course.”
Chapter Ten
Tilly awoke Sunday morning to find Landry propped up on one elbow and staring down at her with a playful smile.
“What?” she asked.
He shook his head, leaned in, and kissed her. “I mean this in the best way possible, but I cannot believe I am marrying you today.”
“I’m glad you qualified that first.”
“I felt it necessary, to prevent any misunderstandings.” He kissed her again, this time long and slow, gently, his tongue slipping between her lips and tasting. His cheeks felt rough with morning stubble and it wasn’t long before her hand slipped behind his neck to hold him in place.
He rolled on top of her and she enjoyed the feel of his solid weight pressing her body into the mattress. It’d been way too long and she craved his touch. His hard cock rubbed against her thigh through his boxers.
He lifted his head. “You are an amazing woman, Tilly,” he said, his eyes searching hers. “You have a beautiful soul and a limitless heart.”
His mushiness made her a little uncomfortable. She didn’t want to open her heart to him just to get hurt. Her house, bed, and legs? Sure. Not her heart.
Not yet.
But she found it hard to keep it closed.
“Most women,” he continued, “would have told me to go fuck myself.”
“I’m not most women.”
“For that I would thank the heavens if I were a religious man.” From the look in his eyes, she suspected he wanted to say more. She waited him out. “May I ask something?”