“Oh?”
“I’m not a true sadist at heart like you are.”
He held her close. “You have a beautiful soul, sweetheart. Thank you for standing beside me through this.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m a bitch when it comes to nursing.”
“I’ll be an equally crappy patient, never fear.”
Chapter Fifteen
None of them spoke much Wednesday morning. Tilly had planned to get up even earlier than necessary to make coffee before her workout, but Cris beat her to it. When she walked through on her way to work out, he nodded to her. She nodded back.
Subdued, Landry stepped into the shower with her later and pulled her into his arms. When he hardened against her, she kissed him and leaned against the wall as he quickly sheathed himself inside her. No words were necessary. He couldn’t hide his closely guarded worry from her, and she relaxed and turned her body over to him as he switched to French and whispered a command in her ear for her to come for him.
It surprised her when her body responded, a gentle climax that nearly brought tears to her eyes as he finished with her.
Live her life like this? As they both stood there recovering, she thought it would be a damn good life, married to this man. If he could beat the cancer, possibly a very long damn good life.
He encouraged her to go eat breakfast even though he wasn’t allowed to. When she tried to refuse, he yelled for Cris to prepare her a bagel and sent her out the bedroom door with a playful swat on her rear end.
Later at the hospital, Landry held her hand on the walk from Tilly’s car to the building. Cris grabbed their things from the car and quickly followed.
Tilly felt Landry’s fear humming through him as stress, tension from the way he held her hand to the way he walked. She squeezed his hand and when he looked down at her she winked, prompting a smile.
Good. He needed to smile today.
“You promised you’d fight for me,” she reminded him.
He nodded.”I will.”
They went through registration, Cris silently standing by unless Landry asked him a medical question about his history he couldn’t remember. Cris seemed to have it all memorized. They received a few odd looks from the staff, including the nurse who came in to prep Landry once he was in a pre-op bed. The nurse suggested Cris could wait outside. Landry told her no, he couldn’t, that his wife and partner would stay with him as long as they could.
When Tilly snuck a glance at Cris, she noted he’d perked up a little at that comment.
The thaw has started. Thank God.
Before the orderlies came to take him back, Landry called Cris over and asked him to bend down to where he lay on the gurney. Landry whispered something to him, then kissed him.
Cris nodded, perhaps a little too hard, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he whispered, “I love you, too, Lan.”
Tilly’s turn. He kissed her. “Keep him in line while I’m asleep, okay?”
“Just a short nap. Then we’ll get you back.”
“Can I tell you I love you?”
She smiled. “Only if I can tell you.”
“Okay then.” He stroked her cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too, buster.” He kissed her once more before they took him.
Cris stood by the door, almost looking like a lost puppy.
She didn’t anticipate the flood of pity and compassion she felt for him. No matter what, Landry loved him, and he loved Landry. Only an idiot would miss that. Even after their few short days together, she saw why Cris loved him. Master or not, sadist or not, Landry wasn’t difficult to love. You took him as you got him, and he didn’t play bullshit games.
Well, normally. And the games he did play usually had fairly concrete rules of engagement you could understand as long as you understood the man and the Master.
Cris didn’t want to meet her gaze at first. He stood there holding their things, his eyes focused on the floor. She reached up, touched his chin, and tipped his head so he looked at her. If she didn’t say it now, especially when he seemed so vulnerable, her nerve would escape her. If she couldn’t say it now, she probably never would.
For the sake of her sanity, and her guilty conscience, she needed to say it.
“I forgive you,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry for what we did to you.”
He sobbed and threw his arms around her. “I’m so sorry, Tilly,” he said over and over again.
She put her arms around him and held him as he cried, finally navigating them over to the chairs so she could sit with him.
When he finally composed himself, she took his hand and squeezed. “He’ll be okay. He’ll make it. We’ll get him through this.”
“Yeah.”
She squeezed his hand again. “Please don’t trip all over yourself trying to suck up to me, okay?
Yes, I’m still angry and hurt. That won’t magically disappear. I need time to work through that. Don’t be surprised if I throw it in your face, either. From this point on, I want us focused on him. Whatever happens between you and me during that time, we’ll keep him our priority and deal with the rest as it comes.”
He hugged her again. “Okay. Thank you, Tilly. Thank you for doing this for him.”
They moved out to the waiting room. She let him drape his arm around her shoulders and enjoyed leaning into his solid body.
She’d missed this. Feeling wrapped in safety when with him.
Well, she didn’t feel emotionally safe with him anymore, but the physical safety was still there.
If she couldn’t be with Landry, she’d settle for letting Cris comfort her.
For now.
She tried to lighten the mood and gently poked him in the side. “Don’t think you can step back into a Dom role with me, either. You try that, I’ll smack you.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I promise I won’t. I’m just happy you’re talking to me.”
They both jumped to their feet when the nurse called for Tilly nearly two hours later. She tried to take only Tilly back to the recovery room, but Tilly, glad for her years as a Domme, rolled right over her and grabbed Cris’ hand to drag him with her. “Sorry, we’re a package deal.”
Landry didn’t open his eyes when she leaned over him and kissed him. She brushed the hair from his forehead. “Hey, handsome. Welcome back.”
Cris took hold of his other hand. Landry squeezed, but still didn’t open his eyes. “I hate feeling like this,” he groggily muttered.
Cris leaned in and kissed him. “We’ll take you home, get you settled in, and you can spend the evening watching her beat the crap out of me,” he joked.
Landry mustered a weak smile and cracked open an eye. He looked at Cris, then turned his head to see her. “You two okay?”
She nodded. “While you were napping we hashed out the peace accord and declared your sick bed a DMZ.”
He closed his eyes again as he nodded. “That’s good. Just make sure you gag him when you beat him. I don’t want his screams to keep me awake.”
Landry still felt pretty out of it when the doctor came in to talk with them. “I think this was caught fairly early,” the surgeon said, “but we need to aggressively treat it considering your history.”
Landry remained quiet. Tilly let Cris take the lead role in the discussion. Thank God he was there. Even though she was familiar with the terminology, she had no clue about Landry’s treatment history. As she listened to Cris talk she spotted a ghost of her Master in his manner.
When the doctor tried to bring her into the conversation as Landry’s wife, she shook her head.
“He’s doing just fine,” she said. “Keep going. If I have any questions, I’ll ask.”