But that would mean sending Landry a text or calling him to let him know she wouldn’t be home so he wouldn’t worry.
She slammed her fist against the steering wheel. This was her house, dammit. Not Cris’ house.
Her husband, not his.
Never mind she now felt guilty about what she’d done, even though truthfully, Landry probably would be more than happy to help her top Bob. He also probably would have enjoyed watching her top him tonight. She knew enough about Landry to know not only would he not consider that inappropriate considering the context, but he’d probably think Bob was hot.
She grabbed her bags and let herself in the front door. She thought about taking the toy bag down to the playroom, then decided against it. The door to Cris’ room was shut and she’d have to walk past it.
She dropped her bags in her closet. They could wait until tomorrow. She turned and surveyed the room, the bed exactly as she’d left it, made, with the corset she’d decided not to wear still laying on the coverlet.
The unexpected lump in her throat was hard to swallow down. Except for his times in the hospital, this was the first night since their wedding they hadn’t spent together, at least in part.
Logic tried to break in. Landry belonged to Cris first, not you. Cris spent the past several months unable to sleep with him at all.
How’s it feel?
She shoved that line of thought out of her brain and grabbed the corset before she yanked the sheets down. She dumped her clothes in the closet then slipped between the sheets. By four-thirty, she knew sleep wasn’t coming.
She got up, found her robe, and yanked it on. Then she quietly opened her room door and walked down the hall.
Silently, she held her breath and listened at Cris’ door.
Nothing.
Well, duh. They’re asleep. Which you should be, too.
She didn’t like the ache in her heart. Part of her was tempted to open the door, walk in, and lay down next to Landry. He’d welcome her, no doubt.
It wouldn’t be the mature or fair thing to do, but who said anything about fairness or maturity, dammit?
She returned to her room. As she closed the bedroom door, she locked it behind her.
Daylight streamed through the skylight, into the bathroom and reflected off the sink faucet, bouncing into her eyes. She’d forgotten to push the bathroom door closed.
“Shit.”
She rolled over. After nine-thirty, but she didn’t hear anything going on in the house. Both men should be up.
She used the bathroom and decided to go ahead and take her shower now. It would mean not making an excuse to Landry about why she didn’t want to shower with him this morning.
Not that she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t face him yet. She admitted it—she was avoiding him.
I’m sure Cris slept like a rock.
Okay, clear those thoughts out right now.
I wonder how Bob slept last night.
She stood under the water, hot as she could stand it, and let it soak into her. Bob had looked so happy last night when she offered to play with him. Even happier the way she played with him. And when she left the door open to future playtime with him?
It nearly broke her heart how hopeful he looked.
If there was a victim in all this, it was him, even if she’d never slept with him. By all rights she should be happily dating him, falling in love with him. What the hell had she done?
It’s not like Landry fell in love with her because he knew her and wanted to be with her. He wanted someone to help take care of him.
Whereas she’d spent three years working with Bob. Okay, so only a day here and there, and total time together, she’d spent a lot more with Landry, but still.
Who said you couldn’t buy love?
Landry had bought hers.
She dressed and walked out to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Landry sat at the table in the kitchen with his laptop. He looked up at her approach. At first he smiled, then it faded.
“What’s wrong, love?”
“Nothing.” She popped a bagel into the toaster oven and waited for it without walking over to give him a good morning kiss.
He pushed back from the table and went to her. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” When he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she let him kiss her cheek but she didn’t turn around to reciprocate like she normally might.
“I tried to come in this morning. You locked the door.”
“Oh, did I? Sorry. It was really late when I came in.”
He finally released her. She heard Cris down the hall, in the office probably, talking on the phone. Landry didn’t leave her alone, however. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and watched her slather way more cream cheese than she usually used over the toasted bagel.
He dropped his voice. “Are you going to talk to me?”
She headed for the lanai and hoped he wouldn’t follow her. “There’s nothing to talk about. I just want to eat breakfast. Is that a crime?”
He didn’t follow and she felt even worse for giving him the brush-off.
Eventually she returned to the bedroom, and that’s when he followed her and pursued the topic.
“Love, did something happen at the club last night?”
She refused to meet his gaze. “No. I’m fine.”
“Did you play?”
She thought about lying to him and decided not to. “Yes.”
“Who did you play with?”
“Does it matter?” He sighed, but he didn’t force her. She finally admitted, “Bob.”
“I see.”
She wheeled around, immediately on the defensive. “What? I’m not allowed to play? You said as long as I didn’t have sex with someone else that you didn’t care.”
He slowly nodded. “That’s correct. I did. However, you’ve never been this upset before. I’d like to know why.”
She so didn’t want to go there, but it spilled out and she knew if she didn’t say it, it would continue to fester. She stalked over to him and lowered her voice so Cris couldn’t hear. “You told me when you found out what Cris did to me that you felt like a pity fuck, right?”
He nodded, eying her, but didn’t speak.
“Well, I guess it finally slammed home for me that it’s about the same way I feel. Like you married me because you felt sorry for me because of what he did to me. Let’s face it, you’re gay.
Straight for me notwithstanding, normally I wouldn’t have even crossed your radar.” When she tried to turn away, he grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let go.
“Love, that’s not how I feel about you! Yes, in the beginning it was a transaction, one designed to punish Cris, but I have never lied when I’ve told you how I feel. I love you. You are my wife, and I plan on doing my damnedest to convince you of how I feel no matter how long it takes.”
She jerked her arm away and pulled back. “Yeah. So I don’t leave with your money.”
He shook his head. “No! Jesus Christ, I love you. What do I have to do to convince you of that?
What caused this?”
“When the three years are up,” she said, “we’ll go back to your attorney and change the pre-nup so everything’s yours again. I don’t want anything, only the salary you promised.” She wouldn’t look at him. “I want to be fair.”
He crossed the bedroom and grabbed her arms, shaking her. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me! You can’t leave me!”
“I can, and I don’t have to leave you. This is my house, remember?”