Afterward, the thoughts all came back. The trial would end, of course, and then she would have to tell him. Everything was set for now, but her words had only made more difficult the job of telling him later. It would be hard, very hard.
But there was no way out. She would wait until the time came.
The time came.
The trial was over suddenly, over too soon it seemed to her. Ronald had won, finishing up with a closing speech that was the finest act of his career. The jury was out less than an hour before they decided in his favor. It was the triumph of his career.
She should have been elated, and in fact she did share a good deal of his triumph. She stayed home with him that night and they cracked a bottle of premium champagne, and when she got to bed she felt a little bit high from the champagne. Maybe, she thought crazily, Danny wouldn’t find out. Maybe she could tell him for years that the trial was still in progress.
The trial made the front page the next morning.
Her heart fell as she read the item. She hurled the newspaper across the room and rushed upstairs, dressing hastily. She had to find Danny at once. She had to see him, and somehow she had to make him understand that they were not going to be married. She didn’t stop to figure out just how this would be accomplished, but hopped into the car and drove at once to the gas station. Her mind was turning around in circles. How could she tell him? What could she do?
She stopped for a traffic light and waited impatiently, her hands clenched tightly around the steering-wheel. When the light turned her foot pressed down on the accelerator and the car shot forward, responding at once to the pressure of her foot on the pedal. The mid-morning traffic was fairly heavy, but the little foreign car easily dodged in and out and swerved from lane to lane.
When she reached the gas station, she made a quick left turn narrowly missing another car and pulled over to the side near Danny’s office. He was busy with another car at first and didn’t see her. Then, when the other driver had paid him and driven from the lot, Danny turned and saw her. He raced over at once, a huge smile on his face and his arms swinging at his sides. He shoved his face through the open window and she leaned forward to meet his kiss. The kiss was long and warm; under more pleasant circumstances Carla would have enjoyed it immensely, but now her mind was too confused and tormented by the situation at hand. A customer had driven into the lot and pulled up near one of the pumps, but Danny didn’t let the presence of a customer interrupt the kiss. Finally he broke off and grinned.
“I saw the news,” he said. “Christ, what a welcome headline! I’ve been looking for that little item every time I pick up a paper, and this morning it was there. I called you but you didn’t answer. I guess you were on your way here already.”
She nodded. “I got here as fast as I could.”
The customer honked impatiently. Danny started to stand up and attend to the man, then changed his mind and put his face to the window again.
“Now we can get married,” he said.
She nodded soundlessly.
“It’ll take a while,” he said. “Divorce proceedings and all — I guess they can eat up plenty of time. But we’re on our way now, Carla. There’s nothing standing between us and we don’t have to worry about anyone finding out. Isn’t it great?”
“It certainly is.” She tried to match his enthusiasm but he noticed that something was wrong and regarded her quizzically.
“What’s the matter, Carla?”
“Nothing’s the matter.”
His eyebrows went up a fraction of an inch. “You don’t seem excited. Isn’t this as exciting to you as it is to me?”
“Of course it is.” When he didn’t say anything more she said, “I knew about it last night, honey. That’s why I couldn’t come to see you. Ronald wanted me to stay home with him for a celebration. Since I’ve known for over twelve hours, the excitement has worn off a little bit.”
His features relaxed into a smile. “That explains it, honey. I should have known you’d be as keyed up as I am otherwise. But why didn’t you call me?”
“I did,” she said, hunting for another lie to reinforce the one she had just told. “Some woman answered and said you weren’t home.”
“But I was home all night.”
Carla shrugged. “That’s what she told me.”
“That’s funny.” He thought for a moment. “Oh,” he said suddenly, “I know what must have happened. That old bitch Smithers pulled that once before. When she gets good and tanked up she wouldn’t move an inch to call somebody to the phone and she just gives whoever calls the “He’s not home” line and that’s all.”
She nodded gratefully. “That’s what must have happened.”
There was a squeal of rubber on pavement and Danny turned to see the car pull out of the station in a rush. “Looks like you just cost me a customer,” he said. “I better get back to work. Look, tonight we got to celebrate. You and your husband had last night together, and now it’ll be our turn. Okay?”
“Okay.” She swallowed.
“Our celebration might be a lot livelier, too. I’ll pick you up in front of your house around six and we’ll go out for dinner. There’s one place that’s been a favorite of mine and I’ve been saving it for something special. I think you’ll like it.”
“Okay,” she said lamely. “I’ll be ready.” Then, driving back to her house, she felt more confused and frightened than ever.
Most of the time when she sat alone the minutes seemed to crawl. But today was different. Today she didn’t want the time to pass, and the morning and afternoon flew by far too quickly. Indeed, Carla had the feeling that everything was happening too fast for her to keep up with it. In each conversation with Danny she felt lost and inadequate. She didn’t want to lie to him but there never was a chance to tell him the truth. He was so caught up in his own train of thought that she couldn’t possibly interrupt him, especially with something as jarring as her news would be.
She was ready at six. She said good-night to Ronald and Lizzie, telling them that she was having supper with a girl-friend. She knew that Ronald knew what she meant but it didn’t matter, and she couldn’t care less what Lizzie thought. She certainly had enough other things to worry about for the time being.
She felt strange riding beside Danny in the old Ford. It was not the first time she had driven in his car, but it was the first time she saw so thoroughly the contrast between it and her MG. It reinforced her conviction that she could never marry Danny Rand.
Never.
The place was as perfect as Danny had said it would be. It was a steak house in the Old English fashion, with clay pipes on the walls and suits of armor standing in the corners for decoration. They sat in a corner booth secluded from the rest of the diners, and the intimacy of the booth combined with the atmosphere of the restaurant to make it an ideal setting. And the food was delicious — as good a steak as she had ever eaten.
The dinner-table was no place for the words she had to say. Despite the food and the surroundings, Carla found it impossible to enjoy her dinner. Every minute was filled with apprehension at the thought of the impending scene between them. Every minute she wanted to blurt out the horrible but necessary words, and every minute they stuck in her throat, almost choking her emotionally.
Dinner, in its own quiet way, was hell.
The ride back was no picnic either. She rode with her head nestled comfortably on Danny’s shoulder, but she was by no means comfortable. Her nerves were strung tight and her muscles were rigid — all the more rigid in view of the appearance of relaxation she struggled to maintain.
While the ride and the dinner preceding it were not comfortable, she wanted them to go on forever, so that she could prolong the terrible moment of truth. But things followed the pattern of the day and went on happening too quickly for her, and almost before she knew it the car was parked on Sagerties Avenue and Danny was holding the door open for her.