Nick groaned as her taste burst on his tongue, practically imprinting itself into him. He slid his hands into her hair and tugged, feeling her shiver against him. For so fucking long he’d wanted this, wanted her. Touching her wasn’t easing the urges as he’d expected. Instead, sensations were crawling all over and through him. Worse, he was being taunted by a crushing, primal need all tangled up with a heavy sense of possessiveness and a fierce drive to own. He was thinking of pushing her against the wall and ripping the clothes from her body when he felt her suddenly tense in his arms.
Surprised by her own strength, Shaya abruptly tore her mouth from his and used the hands that had been plastered to his chest to push him back—the effect was more of her bouncing backward. “Enough.” Hating that she had responded so enthusiastically to his touch, she skirted around him to put some space between them again, holding her hand up to warn him off. It didn’t work. He advanced on her. Not quickly, but slowly and stealthily, like a predator prowling toward skittish prey. “It’s too late.”
Hating the pain in her eyes, he wanted to punch himself. “You’re not the only one who’s been hurting, Shay. Yes, it’s my fault—I have no one to blame but myself. But I won’t ever hurt you like that again.”
A part of Shaya wanted to believe his promise, was hooked on how earnest he looked and sounded, and was totally hung up on just how much more alive she had felt in these moments with him than she had in the last six months. But she was simply too hurt and wary to take the gamble. “Just go.”
“Not without you.”
“You have no choice in the matter. I can’t go with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t trust you!”
Nick felt as though she’d punched him. The breath left his lungs in a whoosh. It didn’t matter that it was his own fault, and it wasn’t even a surprise, but it still hurt like a motherfucker.
“I don’t trust you not to hurt me. I don’t trust you not to leave me again.”
Something about the way she’d said the latter words had Nick narrowing his eyes. This wasn’t just about him. Being left was a big thing for her, and there was clearly a story behind that. He cupped her chin. “That’s not going to happen.”
She snickered, slapping his hand aside. “How do I know that? Huh? How do I know you won’t suddenly decide that not being Alpha isn’t working for you? That you need to leave me behind because it’s ‘not safe’ for me to be your Alpha female? I’m not going through that shit again. You had your chance to claim me, and you fucked it up. Now go.”
Not a thing could have made Nick move from where he was except for the tears now filling her eyes. He wanted to hold her and comfort her, but if she didn’t trust him, the last thing she would feel was comforted. So far, he hadn’t respected any of her wishes. If he had any chance of earning her trust, he needed to start now.
Forcing himself to ignore his wolf’s and his body’s demands, Nick stepped back and held his hands up in a placatory gesture. “Okay. If that’s really what you want, I’ll go. But I’m not leaving for good, Shay. I’m not abandoning you again.” He could see that his words had surprised her. “Repeat that to me.”
Scared that he would sense that a small part of her wanted him to stay, Shaya turned her back to him. “Just go.”
“Not until you repeat it. Not until I’m positive that you understand I’m not leaving you again.”
Prepared to do whatever it took to get him away from her, she mumbled, “You’re not leaving.”
Nick gave a satisfied nod. “I’ll see you soon.” When he reached the doorway, he called out, “Oh, and don’t think about running. I’ll only find you again. Feel free to call Taryn and ask her to come get you, but I won’t let her or anyone else take you. I’ll kill anyone who tries. I’ve hurt you, I get that. We can take this as slow as you want. But I will claim you, Shay. You’re mine. I’m not staying away from you anymore.”
When the front door closed behind him, Shaya let loose a string of curses. But this time, she wasn’t cursing Nick. She was cursing herself. It was pathetic how easily and strongly she had responded to his touch. Maybe it would be fair to say that it was only natural, given that he was her mate, but it still galled her. His touch had left a tingle of fire in its wake, and now her cheeks were flushed and her entire body was crying out for him.
Her gaze moved to the cordless phone on the coffee table, and she briefly considered making a call to Taryn. The thought left her mind even quicker than it came. She could easily anticipate what would happen: Taryn, Trey, and some of the enforcers would appear, and every one of them would go ballistic at Nick. He would defend himself, and being as powerful as he was, he’d do extremely well at it. In other words, people she cared about could be hurt. Although she was mad at Nick, she didn’t want him to be seriously hurt either. All she wanted was for him to stay away from her, to let her live her life.
But is that really what you want? asked a skeptical voice inside her head—one that totally supported her wolf’s urge to claim him.
Yes, it was.
Are you sure about that?
Oh, for God’s sake. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she was having a war with Nick, she was also having one with herself and her wolf. This was not good. Not. Good. At. All.
CHAPTER THREE
Reaching the end of Shaya’s driveway, Nick exhaled a heavy breath. Well, things could have gone a lot worse. The bat could have knocked off his head, for instance. That merciless streak had been a shock. Maybe he should have paid more heed to her yard warning sign: TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT, SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN. And then there was the COME BACK WITH A WARRANT doormat. Yep, it was fair to say there had been some hints.
The fact that he’d had to place his mate unconscious for his own safety was something he’d never forget. Both Nick and his wolf loved that spark of fire in her. Despite being a submissive wolf, she hadn’t hesitated in challenging him verbally or physically. That was a good thing—it was important to him that his mate never feared him or his level of dominance. It would cut him open if that were to ever happen.
As he walked a short distance and rounded the street to find his motor home, which had been his place of residence for the past six months, he noticed that someone was leaning against it—a very familiar someone.
Derren’s muscular form stepped out of the shadows. “How did it go?” When the ex-bodyguard’s dark gaze fell on the small wound on Nick’s head, he grinned. “Not so well, huh?”
Nick smiled; he was actually proud of her for bloodying him. “Didn’t I fire you?”
“Multiple times.”
In reality, Nick hadn’t hired Derren in the first place. Back when they were in juvie together, Nick had saved Derren’s life. The wolf had then taken it upon himself to appoint himself as Nick’s bodyguard and escort him everywhere—which it seemed he intended to do until he finally returned the favor. It hadn’t mattered what Nick had said or done, he hadn’t been able to shake Derren off. “I asked you to stay with Jon. He’s Alpha now, and he’ll need you.”
Derren snorted. “Jon can take care of himself. So can you, but you’re stuck with me—you know this already.”