“No, it’s not. My best friend has gone because of that rat bastard!”
Yep, that confirmed it. “Gone where?” demanded Nick, barely holding back a growl. His wolf began pacing inside him, clawing at him, wanting freedom, wanting to hunt down his mate—the only thing that really meant anything to him.
“Somewhere safe,” Jaime told him. “Somewhere where you can’t hurt her anymore.”
Nick took one step forward, and each of the Phoenix wolves tensed, prepared to spring. Yeah? Well he didn’t give a fuck. “You think I want to hurt her? You think it doesn’t eat at me that I can’t have her? You think I don’t constantly wonder where she is, what she’s doing, and if she’s safe?”
All of the faces softened, but Nick didn’t want their fucking sympathy. He wanted to know where his mate was. He zeroed in on Trey. “Tell me where she is.” When he didn’t answer, Nick placed his hands on the table and leaned forward, placing him eye to eye with the Alpha. All the Phoenix wolves growled low, but they didn’t attempt to interfere—that would imply that their Alpha couldn’t deal with his own shit. As it was, Trey was perfectly capable of fighting his own battles. But although Trey might be strong and powerful, so was Nick; he let the full extent of his dominance leak into his expression, communicating that he was just as powerful as Trey. In actuality, he was also as fucked up as Trey—he just hid it better.
The Alpha leaned forward, placing his face close to Nick’s, meeting his gaze full-on. “I have no interest in dueling with you, Nick—you fought alongside me to help protect my mate, my son, and my pack. That’s something I’ll always be thankful to you for. I once had people try to keep Taryn from me, and I reacted just as badly, so I can understand how you’re feeling to an extent. But if it’s a duel you want, you’ll get one.”
“If this was Taryn, if I knew where she was and I wouldn’t tell you, what would you do?”
Trey cocked his head. “That’s the thing—I never would have left her. I’m not the noble type. If you want to be self-sacrificing, fine, whatever—but you do it away from Shaya.”
Dante spoke then, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. “If we thought you wanted to know her whereabouts for the right reason, we’d tell you. But you don’t want to find her so you can claim her. It simply suits you to be able to interfere in her life. That’s not fair to her.”
Jaime laid a hand on Dante’s arm. “I know what it’s like to feel you have to resist mating with someone because you fear putting them in danger, Nick.” And she really did know. Her wolf had been so traumatized that Jaime had been at risk of losing her human half completely. If that had happened and she had turned rogue, she would have been killed. For that reason, she had resisted bonding with Dante, worried he wouldn’t survive the link being broken if she died. Luckily, bonding with Dante had instead helped her wolf heal.
Of course her reference to “danger” meant the danger of Shaya being an Alpha female—she didn’t know about Nick’s health issues, or she would most likely understand. But Nick wasn’t and never had been interested in other people’s perception of him, so he had no intention of explaining himself.
“I know it hurts,” continued Jaime, “but you should have claimed her and trusted that you’d be stronger together. Just because Shaya can’t be physically stronger than a dominant female doesn’t mean she can’t still defeat them. There’s more to combat than physical strength—take it from someone who was trained by the best.” She gestured at Dante. “I’ve kicked Popeye’s ass a number of times.” Dante scowled at her for that comment.
Nick sighed impatiently. “The dominant females wouldn’t even need to challenge her. All they’d have to do is hit her with their dominant vibes and she’d be automatically submitting whether she wanted to or not.” And Nick hated the idea of it. When an odd expression surfaced on Taryn’s face, he narrowed his eyes. “What?”
Taryn shook her head. Losing her scowl, she sighed. “Just leave her alone, Nick. She’s safe. I give you my word that if anything ever happens to her, if she’s ever hurt, I will contact you. But that’s the most you’re getting.”
While he appreciated that, it wasn’t enough. He’d been kidding himself if he thought simply being around Shaya from time to time would be enough. It was only now, as he was faced with the fact that she was gone from his life, that she would never be a part of it, that he might never see her again, that he realized he’d subconsciously nurtured a hope that he could find a way around their issues. He hadn’t truly given up on the matter, not deep inside, but the present situation was forcing him to do so, to give up all hope. And he found that he couldn’t.
Nick inhaled deeply, fighting to remain composed. But how could he? Dammit, it fucking hurt that she’d left like that. Not just because she was away from him, but because she’d so easily been able to run when he hadn’t had the strength to stay away. And he was angry too. Angry that she could leave him behind and start a life without him, and angry with himself for pushing her in that direction. Also, he was panicking. Not knowing where she was, if she was safe, if she was happy was a torment all on its own. Whatever Shaya or any of these wolves thought, he did want her to be happy. More than anything, he wanted to be the one to make her happy.
And with all that came the determination to find her.
But Dante was right: finding her simply to know where she was, to have peace of mind, wasn’t a good reason. The only chance Nick had of being in her life was to put right what he’d done, step down from Alpha, claim her, and take Derren’s and his mother’s advice and shove aside his fears rather than forsaking someone so important to him. That was exactly what he would do. If that meant the foundations of his pack began to crumble, so be it. Shaya was his; she was more important.
Of course it would be pointless to tell her pack that. They would never believe him—they would simply think he was feeding them shit so they would reveal her whereabouts. He’d have thought the same thing in their position.
Fine, he didn’t need them to tell him. Nick was a powerful Alpha, and he had many contacts, knew a great many Alphas all across the globe. There wasn’t one pack in the world in which she could hide where he wouldn’t find her. Pivoting on the spot, he began marching out of the kitchen.
“Nick?”
Halting, he glanced over his shoulder, meeting Taryn’s gaze.
“Let her be.”
“Not going to happen. If you want to end the alliance, start a war, you do that. But it won’t stop me from searching for her. Nothing will.” With that, he left.
Trey sighed at the sound of the main door slamming shut. They had hidden Shaya well, had taken her as far as South Carolina. Rather than settle her there, they had—cashing in a favor that another Alpha owed him—used a private jet to transfer her from there to Arizona. Their belief was that Nick would never think they would hide her in such a close location. Ryan, Trick, and Marcus had then created a false trail going from South Carolina to New York before allowing it to abruptly end.
They knew that Nick wouldn’t give up when finding no sign of her in New York and might backtrack, but they also knew that Nick wouldn’t be searching for a human with Shaya’s description—which was what she was posing as in Arizona. He would be searching all the shifter packs. Trey had been pretty confident that Nick didn’t have a hope in hell of locating her. But having seen the determination in Nick’s eyes, Trey wondered for the first time if their efforts had been enough. Not that he could blame the guy for his persistence in locating his mate. No one could keep Trey from Taryn, and God help anyone who ever again tried.