“Talked to you. I’d have talked to you and explained how I felt. If I hadn’t thought that there was a way I could be with you, I’d have given you the space to live your life, but you couldn’t even give me that.”
He arched a brow. “Are you going to tell me that you’re not feeling the same pull as I am? That your wolf isn’t hounding you? That the urge to mate isn’t close to controlling you? I can see you shaking with it, Shay. So don’t make out like staying away from you should be simple for me. It never was.” He inhaled deeply, wanting that scent he’d missed to be nestled deep in his lungs. God, she smelled like the ocean, fresh crisp air, and home. He had to fist his hands to keep from touching her. It was painful to resist.
He took a calming breath, inhaling deeply again. And that was when he smelled it—her arousal. It was the sweetest smell that seemed designed to torture both him and his wolf. He wanted to find out if her taste was just as alluring. His wolf was clawing at him, growling at his lack of action, at not claiming what was theirs.
“My name is Shaya. And yes, I do feel that same pull. Yes, the urges are a pain in the ass. And that’s exactly why you’re here—for the wrong reasons. Not because you truly want me, but because your wolf’s pushing you too hard and the urges are bugging you too much. Well that’s not good enough for me.”
“I stepped down from Alpha.”
She was so startled she couldn’t speak for a few seconds. “What?”
“My old Beta is now Alpha.”
She’d met his old Beta a few times, sensed his very dominant wolf, and she’d sensed something else too—extremely dominant or not, Jon was nowhere near as powerful as Nick. She wasn’t sure whether or not he was lying about having stepped down from Alpha, but she knew one thing: “Your wolf wouldn’t be able to take orders from someone less powerful than he is—he wouldn’t obey him. Plus, everyone in your pack would still see you as the person to go to and answer to because you’re more powerful than Jon.”
“I know. That’s why I left.”
She gawked. “What?”
He spread his arms wide before crossing them behind his head and leaning back in his seat. “I’m now a lone wolf.”
Her mouth bobbed open and closed a few times. What he’d done wasn’t by any means a small thing. Not that she believed Nick had ever or would ever actually need anyone, but to be without a pack or territory or the social contact provided by a pack would be hard as all shit for any shifter. If Shaya hadn’t been half human, she was pretty sure the lone-wolf lifestyle would have been too much for her to handle. As it was, she found it pretty difficult, but that wasn’t so much to do with her shifter side as it was to do with her issue with being alone. “But…why?”
“Because if being Alpha means I can’t have you, then I don’t want the position. You’re what I want.”
Struggling to think clearly, she got to her feet and began to pace. She honestly didn’t know what to say, what to do. Here he was, claiming to have made some major changes to his life just for her. Hell, he’d left his pack, his family, his territory, and his position behind! She would have been impressed, but it made no sense. If she had really been so important to him, he would have done this in the very beginning…which made her wonder if this was nothing more than a grand gesture. Even if he truly intended to never return to his pack, she very much doubted that it would work for him or his wolf. It would only be a matter of time before the urge to go back became too much.
He rose from the chair and went to her. “Come back to California with me. I don’t have to tell you how dangerous it is to be a lone shifter right now—the human extremists are making themselves a huge problem. So if you want to return to the Phoenix Pack, fine, I’ll go with you. I won’t lie—obeying Trey would be hard because I’m as powerful as he is, but as he’s not weaker than me, it could still work. Come with me.”
Shaya looked at the hand he held out to her and swallowed hard. She could admit to herself that the temptation to go with him was like nothing she’d ever felt. Six months ago, she’d have given anything to hear those words. But not now. It was too late; betrayal still sat like lead in the pit of her stomach. She shook her head. “You walked away from me.”
“And you ran from me.” He slowly reached out and gently straightened one of her red corkscrew curls, watching with an inner smile as it bounced back into place. It took him by surprise how soft and silky her hair was. “But it was the best thing you could have done.” At her questioning look, he elaborated. “It made me realize a few things. Namely that living without you isn’t an option.”
“Because the urges won’t ease.”
“Because you’re more important than anything else,” he corrected, taking a step toward her so that there was only a hairbreadth between them. As her scent wrapped around him, he barely resisted the temptation to bury his face into the crook of her neck. “I’ve missed your scent. It drives me crazy.” Drinking in every detail of her face, he smoothed the pad of his thumb across her cheekbone. “I’ve missed looking at you. Watching you.”
She told herself to step back, but it simply didn’t happen. As if the mating urges weren’t enough to deal with, she now had his scent—the guy smelled like cedar, cinnamon, danger, and a dark masculinity—swirling around her. The scent caressed her senses and made her tingle all over. Finally her legs began to work, and she backed away, shaking her head. “I want you to leave.”
His wolf growled at not only her words but the distance she’d created between them. Nick quickly closed it. “I can’t do that. Six months I’ve searched for you. Six fucking long months. I didn’t do it just to walk away from you.”
She snorted. “Why? You did it easily enough the first time.”
“Nothing about it was easy.” He ran his hand through her curls, glad when she didn’t step away. “You’re so full of life, and I’m broken and jaded, so you deserve better. But I’ve discovered that I’m not selfless enough to leave you alone.” Resting his forehead against hers, he cupped her neck and began breezing his thumb up and down the column of her throat. “I’m a bastard for what I put you through, and I’m sorry. I won’t let you down again, I promise. Just come with me.”
Her chest ached at the plea in his eyes—eyes that always looked so haunted and shadowed that it made her wonder what he’d been through that had stained them that way. His thumb traveled up to her mouth and traced the outline of her lips as if he was claiming them. Shaya had every intention of pushing him away. Any second now she would do it.
“Since the first day I saw you, I’ve wondered if your lips are as soft as they look.” A low growl rumbled up his chest when she nervously licked her bottom lip, making him want to do the same. She had the most enticing mouth—soft, sensual, and plush. He realized he wasn’t going to be able to move without tasting it. “And I’ve wondered if you taste as good as you smell.”
Oh shit. Shaya tried shoving him away, but it had zero effect. In fact, he didn’t seem to notice. By the way his body tensed as if to spring, she had expected him to jump into action, for his hands to skate all over her and his mouth to come down forcefully on hers. Instead, he simply began to sip from her lips and nip at the curve of her inactive mouth. When he sucked her bottom lip and bit it gently—a total weak spot for her—she couldn’t hold back the low, contented sigh.
Then he was sipping from her lips again…seducing her mouth, she suddenly realized. And it had worked. Although she had told herself that she would push him away, she was actually chasing his mouth with hers, wanting more, but he pulled back each time. She understood the message: she’d get what he gave her, nothing more. Instead of using his physical strength to assert his dominance, he’d literally seduced her into submission. Sneaky. Fucking. Wolf. She would have pulled back, but then his mouth landed on hers and took total control of it.