Carol pondered Mona‟s words as she took the party platters out of the fridge and handed them to Mona to set up. She was right. She‟d been hurt and angry, but so had her wolf. Any counselor she‟d seen would have had to be capable of handling both.
Losing her parents had been bad enough, but it was the manner in which she lost them that had caused her the most heartache. By pack standards, Carol was just as much the alphas‟ child as Alex, but until she‟d become pregnant, it was something she had never wanted to acknowledge. Being the kindhearted people that the Wolfes were, they‟d never pushed the issue, though it had to have hurt.
They worked together in silence, having done this many, many times when Mona and Tom were still in their position as alphas of the Raven pack before turning control over to Alex and her. When finished, they settled at the breakfast table with cups of hot chocolate.
“How‟s the pregnancy coming?”
Carol smiled. “So far so good. A bit of nausea from time to time, but that‟s to be expected. Otherwise I feel great.”
“That takes care of the physical. What about mentally? Any concerns?”
“No, it‟s all been great,” she cheerfully replied.
Mona pinned Carol with a look she remembered vividly from childhood. As the silence grew, Carol fought not to squirm. In the end, she did what she‟d always done: cracked under the pressure. “Okay, I‟m a little nervous. As a medical professional, I know what happened to Momma was a fluke, but the woman in me…”
Mona wiped her hands on a paper towel and then cupped Carol‟s face. “Things are different now. When your mom started having complications, there was only the pack‟s midwife and Tom to handle things. Unfortunately Tom had the knowledge but not the equipment to handle placental abruption.” Placental abruption, a condition in which the placenta separated from the uterus, didn‟t only affect human women. Shifters suffered too, and often bled out if swift medical treatment wasn‟t given. Her father had been rushing her mother down the mountain in an ice storm to get to Colbyville‟s emergency room when he spun out on one of the curves in an effort to avoid an oncoming vehicle in the wrong lane, went over the railing, and down into a ravine, where the car had exploded.
“You know one of the reasons Mark and I decided to wait before getting pregnant is for things to be settled with the pack. Then there was his business. We wanted it to be firmly established. But a deeper reason, for me at least, was that I wanted to make sure the clinic was equipped to handle any kind of medical emergency that could arise before we made an attempt, just in case.”
“That‟s very wise of you both,” Mona said approvingly.
“At first, there was a whole bunch of excitement. Now that it‟s tapered off, I find myself thinking about the past a lot.”
Mona gave her the same gentle smile that had comforted Carol more times than she‟d ever admitted while growing up. “It‟s only natural. You‟re entering a new phase of your life. Reflecting on the path that got you to where you are today is only to be expected. And it won‟t stop, either. Trust me. Your child will do or say something, and a memory will come out of nowhere. It‟s part of the cycle of life. I look at you now, all grown-up and married, carrying a child of your own, and I remember the day we brought you home. How lost you were. I wanted to wrap you up in my arms and promise that nothing would ever hurt you again, not if I could help it. You were such a fierce little thing, trying so hard to be brave and strong.
Your pride was all you had to cling to, and I knew I had to give you space, let you handle things your way.”
Carol reached out and laid her hand on Mona‟s. “Thank you for that. My parents had taught me that wolves were strong. That day, when you told me what happened, their words were all I had to cling to. Now I‟ve been blessed with another family to replace the one I lost: you, Dad, Alex, Mark, and the cub on the way.”
“And Christmas is a wonderful time to count and share with others the many blessings the Creator has given us in our lives.” The doorbell rang, and they went out to greet their guests. Soon the house was overflowing with neighbors and pack members bearing presents and food. Gifts were exchanged, food eaten, and laughter and conversation rang throughout the house.
Despite the snow on the ground, one of the guys produced a football, and before she knew it, an intense game was in progress. With her mate‟s permission, Carol was roped into playing. Not that she minded. She loved the game. Being a nurse and the pack‟s beta didn‟t allow her nearly enough time to play. Since both Alex and Mark were on one team, she joined the opposing one. After an hour, she decided she‟d had enough fun and retreated to the sidelines to watch the game. She knew the guys would have more fun, be more aggressive without her in the way.
One of the women brought Carol a drink and a chair, and she sat, feeling protected and coddled by her pack. The birth of a new pack member was something they all celebrated and took part in. Though they hoped for a girl, most likely it was a boy. Not that it mattered. Every shifter child born was one step further away from their extinction as a species.
Her attention was drawn back to the field as Mark scored a touchdown. Her mate. As he played, she could see the steely determination that was so much a part of his nature, which had allowed him to claim her as his own. Under the weight and pressure of “doing the right thing,” she would have walked away and been miserable for the rest of her life. Thank God Mark hadn‟t let that happen. Even though she‟d pushed him away countless times, he kept coming back. She remembered the last time vividly…
Carol stared at the open textbook in front of her and sighed. Unfortunately she couldn‟t concentrate worth a damn. Not since The Kiss. It had happened over a week ago—ten days, three hours, and twenty-two minutes, not that she was counting—and she still hadn‟t been able to put it out of her mind.
Once again she went through her litany of reasons why a relationship between them wouldn‟t work. They were two completely different species. Her kind were known for their rough sexual play. She might do serious damage to his fragile human body, and he didn‟t have a shifter‟s ability to change and heal. Already she‟d had to stop herself from clawing his back and sinking her fangs into his neck. And then there was the fact that he didn‟t—couldn‟t—know what she was. Sex brought out the beast. In orgasm, it was impossible to control the shift. Glowing eyes, fangs, and nails turned to claws were a little difficult to explain.
Strong sexual attraction aside, this guy really got to her on an emotional level.
Getting more deeply involved with Mark would only lead to heartache. Once these last two semesters were finished, she was returning to Refuge and her pack to complete her internship and, later, to work. She‟d settle down with one of her pack mates, push out some pups, and life would continue on.
She couldn‟t see a city boy like Mark being willing to settle in some small, one-traffic-light town way up in the mountains, surrounded by a bunch of shape-shifters and humans with extrasensory perception. Even if he was, there was still the fact that they were genetically incompatible. She‟d like to have children one day—at least two. Maybe more. That wouldn‟t be possible with a human as a mate.