— Where is…
— Envelope that white envelope, got ten thousand in it where… scattering pages — got it… the bloodied sleeve trailing from his elbow, a hand out for the bottle in a swerve to the phone — Hello…? Who do you, you got the wrong…
— Paul please, if it's…
— Hey! You old peckerhead, if it's not old peckerhead… He heaved back in the chair, — no shit. You did? Six o'clock news no shit…? you see me take him out? Cameras set up out there for some candyass politicians at that prayer breakfast two chops blew him away, that mother was waiting for me Chick. You see him? looked just like Chigger didn't he? you see his face? Same yellow shit in his eyes that last day out pouring that M60 into those hootches kids chickens pigs wasting that whole fucking ville same shit, see it in his eyes before I saw the blade, he… mother creased my arm that's all, told him that Chick when I turned him in, looking for somebody to tear you out a new asshole just step right up told him that, every mother out there got five minutes to be crazy, two weeks short Kowalski couldn't wait? walks right up route seven trying to draw fire? What? who… none of them no, why would I hear from any of them, only thing some dipshit sergeant called me come down for this Unknown Serviceman funeral be in their parade you know that mother offered me a wheelchair? tag along at the end? Military down there's got the whole thing organized, colour guards bands from all the service branches you think they want a bunch of ragass mothers in their bush caps and fatigues marching up there with the coffin? Might be Kowalski in a body bag, Kowalski's two left hands in a body bag they shut them out, think anybody wants to see the war we lost while they're dressing up to win the next one? Shut them out so they're going to fall in behind all the mickey mouse shit past that fucking wall flags flying bands playing right out to Arlington, play taps shoot a few blanks up at nowhere present, harms! shoulder, shit! See Drucker coming in with his bag of ears that's what they… All right no, no I'm fine man I'm, I'm… what? Real fine peckerhead real fine what kind of names… No I'll get some I'll get you some, straight on peckerhead I'll get you some real fine ones just watch your ass this time, you got a phone? get you some real, find a fucking pencil? Liz? his hand tearing through the papers, — find a God damn pencil?
When he hung up she was staring at him and his eyes came up sightless right on her, froze her step toward him, froze — Paul, don't… in her throat.
But he had it, had the bottle by its own hard neck coming down over the glass — sweetheart…
— Paul… she took the step.
— That's one fucking sweetheart stopped her dead. — Pulled me out of that BOQ Liz, Chick's the one that pulled me out… He brought his arm up to wipe the sweat from his face with his sleeve but the sleeve dangled loose from his elbow, drawing the length of the straight slash gone almost black where the blood had clotted and dried across his wet forehead. — Wants some names, told you he just got out? Calls me get a fresh start, wants some names problem you don't listen to me. That's my RTO, cover that radio with his life only man in that fucking outfit ever listen to me, give one of those spades an order he's stoned, they're all stoned, comes right back never happen sir. Get up on that ridgeline Beaumont, come back tell me what you see. Never happen, sir, smartass grin thought they'd show me up, thought they'd get me up on that ridgeline myself see me blown away… He stared at what he'd poured in the glass there before he drank it down, — wants some names, told you he's getting out?
— You told me that Paul.
— Problem you don't listen, told you what.
— That Chick just got out of the army and he wants, that he's making a fresh start and he wants the names of people who can get him a job?
— Told you don't listen Liz, you don't listen. Five years for robbery that's what he just got out, only one that came out with a career, army taught him a career second tour they took him out of combat put him in G2 crack any safe you show him, army taught him that in G2 get a fresh start, names like doctors cash in the wall safe hide it from the IRS Chick can spot it in the dark, mothers won't report the robbery because they never reported the God damn money in the first place he's the one that pulled me out Liz, saw it on television you hear that? Six o'clock news saw it in his eyes before I saw the blade, he was waiting for me…
She stood close enough now to put a hand on his shoulder, on the shirt soaked through with perspiration, and his shoulder sank under it as though it were a weight. — Paul I, let me help you upstairs, you're…
— Got to work, can't help you upstairs Liz too much God damn work here got to get to work.
— You can't no, you can't try to work now you…
— Don't tell me try to work! He went at the papers again, — big God damn project just get all the pieces, too many God damn pieces… and a sweep of the newspaper, — see that? Just told you, smear story about Gates see that? Christian preparedness camp he's running down there teach them to use an M2 mortar, kid gets hit by a shell fragment Bible won't let him have a transfusion he's greased smear it all over the paper see that? down in the corner here? FBI closing in Federal Marshals same God damn bunch, go after Ude trying to smear him with Gates? Buy our full page ad hand us back a smear story see that? get your ad copy in four days ahead give them time to come up with a smear story same day's paper see that? his finger running down the dry wash left by the cascade of peas — appeasement, made them mad talking about appeasement here too God damn many Christians creeping around like Jacob and Esau saying I will appease him, want to appease this evil empire because they're scared of this godless Marxism and the militant atheists who serve their evil design for Sweet, see that? all his appeasement and disarmament where he takes his orders Victor Sweet? Peace is a weapon in their offensive quotes the Bible right here again through his police his, through his policy also he shall cause craft to prosper in his hand he shall magnify himself in his heart and by peace destroy says it right here, by peace destroy many whole God damn religious awakening across the land see that?
She looked. It said it right there but — it's late Paul… her hand running across the damped fall of his shoulders, — it's too late to try to…
— Too late.
— I just mean it's too late this evening to try to…
— Too late Liz, whole God damn religious awakening across the land all out there for the kill, forty sticks of dynamite tried to blow up his transmitting tower Voice of Salvation over there why the, where's the… he had his empty glass — where is it.
— It's gone Paul. There isn't any more.
— Can't! No don't, too late isn't any more don't, don't… his sleeve dragging over the papers he caught at it and tore the bloodied thing away — don't, look just, get up there… lurching to his feet, scattering papers again looming over the table — how many times I, tell you to throw this God damn thing away! and he had the Natural History magazine tearing it across the bared chest of the Masai warrior, down the plaited hair, through the — God damn eyes, he hurled it toward the sink, seized his balance against the doorframe, turned and went down in a lunge through the doorway under the stairs heaving, gripping the seat in the dark — don't… She got the light on, wet a cloth, held his shoulder — just don't, help me!
— Be careful, Paul be…
— Being careful! He was up, heavy against the wall, out catching balance again at the newel where she stayed, holding to it herself, watching him to the top of the stairs; and when finally she climbed them herself it was to undress in the dark, to heave his half clothed weight from her side of the bed and press her face into the pillow.