— I didn't mean you, she said finally. — I meant Paul.
— Paul what, you mean to stay here for Paul? Hasn't, good God hasn't Paul done enough? Bringing in Ude to stake out this mission site that's the excuse for this whole damned scenario? The papers playing up the threat to this key mineral reserve where there's nothing but bush?
— But bush? what…
— Bush, a few thorntrees. Nothing.
— But if they knew that why would…
— Nobody knew it. Klinger knew it and he was gone, do you think this Belgian syndicate would be backing a war over a few thousand acres of dirt, a little quartz, not even enough copper to pick up a shovel for? The vein runs out. It's the last exploration I did out there the mapping, the field notes all of it, Klinger blew it up into a big ore strike that Lester got hold of for his scenario and I got out, things went bad and I got out.
— But why didn't you tell them… her voice protesting less his failure of enterprise than her own of comprehension searching, like her eyes on the grain of the table, or the back of her hand there, for some relevance in the smallest particular, finding wood grain and skin follicle all the same, looking up — if you knew all the time?
— Tell them what, tell who. No no no, I've been there, show them the fossil record and they reach for Genesis, show them war being jammed down their throats and they read you Revelation, what the whole point was setting up Ude with his missions and his crusade in the first place wasn't it? One thing that Cruikshank and the rest of them learned from this string of disasters they've pulled off, you can't get a good war going without support back in Smackover that's what Paul brought Ude in to stir up. Godless Marxism attacking his holy mission even unto darkest Africa wash them all in the blood of Jesus give them a good hot bath, pray for America and every sad little frame house where they'll hang a gold star in the window when it's over. The car headlights? the purple ribbons? pray for little Willie Fickert he's got a war he can win this time, the big Lightning Division hero he'll get out of this bribery charge don't worry, they'll get him out, Reverend Ude in his pocket and…
— You're wrong, aren't you.
— About what. About Paul? He's…
— I think you're, maybe you're wrong about everything.
— That he's not a bagman? that he's not a killer? that he's…
— That he's got Reverend Ude in his pocket no, because it's Reverend Ude. That's what this bribery's about it's Reverend Ude, he just told them it was Paul, that Paul said he'd have to pay a bribe for his television station so he gave Paul ten thousand dollars to pay Senator Teakell that's why he just called, that they're going to arrest him for interstate travel with intent to bribe a public official.
— There. Fine. You think he didn't? you think he…
— Because he's not a killer! Because he, all the things you don't know like you didn't know that, like you don't know anything! That he's this big Lightning Division hero looking for a war he can win you never saw that scar, that terrible scar you've never seen it you don't know the, all your grand words about the truth and what really happened that don't mean anything because it was one of his own men that's the truth, that's what really happened. He was fragged. Do you know what that means? he was fragged? His crew chief he'd turned in for heroin rolled a hand grenade under his bed and that whole story they made up, that the enemy got into their Bachelor Officer Quarters and blew them up with mortars and Chick pulled him out because it was Chick, it was Chick who just told me and he kept saying, he kept saying oh shit Mrs Booth I thought you knew. I thought you knew…
He stood there for a moment before he said — It's madness then isn't it, it's just madness… Backing off to the counter, spreading the newspapers heaped there aside — madness coming one way and…
— That picture, is that what you're looking for? Well look at it! Find it yes, look at it if that's what you, with the mugger yes because that's why Chick thought I knew how it happened, that nineteen year old kid when Paul saw him coming that was what he, his crew chief was nineteen and they covered it up, he just passed the word that he'd fragged the old man and they covered it up, the old man! He was twenty two! Find it yes, look at it if you…
— No, no I was just, bag of onions back here you said, I was just…
— Why do you want a bag of onions!
— No a drink I, you said… But she was up coming toward him reaching out, suddenly holding to the handle on the refrigerator door and he caught her elbow — what is it, what's…
— I don't know! She freed her arm — sometimes I, maybe I've got high blood pressure, walk down the street what good is that, get up in front of a jury they've all got high blood pressure what good is that… She'd reached past him into the corner to bring out the bottle — because you don't know what happened, you weren't here the only way you were here was your no no no and your stupidity conquering ignorance that night Billy came up here before he left, Reverend Ude with the Lord in the clouds and your Portuguese chopping off hands steaming up the Niger river trying to start a fight with him?
— Well that wasn't, it was the Zambezi in fact, the kingdoms along the Zambezi… He watched her pour an ounce, two ounces — that's enough I, no ice just a little water in it… his hand out, open.
— A killer without a war to go to? that Clausnitz was wrong, it's not that war is politics carried on by other means it's the family carried on by other means? just looking for a war he can win?
— Well I think, I think… his hand falling empty, watching her raise the glass and take a good swallow from it — it was von Clausewitz what he said was…
— That's what I mean! Where did he ever hear of Clausnitz, that that's what our family was all about now, Paul the bagman, Paul the Jew who didn't even know it, Paul the killer, just a nineteen year old kid? you couldn't have just knocked him down? And Paul said, he barely whispered he said Billy, don't you see? They never taught us how to fight, they only taught us how to kill he, they only taught us how to kill! and he, his hands were shaking, he couldn't… like her own, raising the glass again, the white of her throat rippling till she lowered it — and when Billy still kept after him that he was going himself, that he was going to Africa he was getting Adolph to send him to Africa while Paul and Mister Grimes and all of them sat here and started a war there jabbing at him, jabbing his shoulder till Paul grabbed him and, and held him, he just stood there holding him with his arms pinned like a child shouting God damn it Billy listen! These are the same sons of bitches that sent me to Vietnam!