Jan Burke
Case Closed
© 2014
The Last Place You Look
Bakersfield, California
July 7, 1976
Frank Harriman and his partner were on a break, sitting in a Denny’s. Waiting for desperately needed coffee, he spoke into his handheld cassette tape recorder, making notes from their last call to help him with the inevitable paperwork.
“Altercation began when Mr. Martin threw a plastic bag filled with excrement-allegedly left by Mr. Jackson’s dog on Mr. Martin’s lawn-onto Mr. Jackson’s front porch. The bag broke on landing…”
He glanced up to see a look of horror on his partner’s face. Jimmy Chao had only been with the Bakersfield Police Department six months longer than Frank. And based on his expression, Frank was pretty sure someone must have walked into Denny’s with a sawed-off shotgun and was aiming it at the back of his head.
Then Jimmy whispered, “Dude. The radio!” He pointed to Frank’s hand.
Frank then realized that there was no one with a shotgun. His own worst enemy was in the booth: Frank himself, too tired to think straight.
He wasn’t talking into his tape recorder. He was talking into his radio unit. And he had just entertained everyone on duty in Bakersfield with details of the dispute between the drunken neighbors.
“Uh… 10-22,” Frank muttered into the radio. Disregard.
He could already hear the clicks of radio buttons being hit on and off, the others indicating laughter.
They were going to give him more shit than Mr. Jackson had on his front porch.
As they drove back to headquarters at the end of their shift, Jimmy tried to console him. “Stuff like this happens to every rookie. If we do something in a ridiculous way just once, that will be the moment the whole world is watching. Hell, it even happens to the old-timers. You ever hear anyone say, ‘I just about Blanked myself’?”
“My dad told me about Eric Blank.”
“Yeah, that’s right-I guess you’ve already heard all those stories.”
Frank thought about his dad, also a member of the Bakersfield PD, hearing about his fuckup, and his stomach clenched. His dad wouldn’t chew him out or anything like that. He would be calm. And hiding his embarrassment. Which was worse.
“I haven’t heard all of them,” Frank said, thinking of a few new stories his training officer had shared with him. “But I did hear about the night Blank overestimated his sphincter’s endurance rating.”
“Too long in the car,” Jimmy said, nodding. “Could happen to anyone: long shift, radio call to radio call. But Blank not only crapped himself, he went into the restroom of a 7-Eleven, lowered his pants, and used his tactical knife to cut his underwear off himself.”
“Really don’t want to talk about this before eating breakfast,” Frank said.
“You’re the one who just broadcast a report about dog shit.”
“Yeah. Didn’t need a reminder about that, either.”
“Sorry.”
They rode in silence for a few minutes, then Jimmy, who was driving, pulled over and said, “Listen. First time I was patrolling solo, just a few weeks before you graduated, it happened to be a rainy Friday night. Being the new guy, when a roadkill call came in, I was sent to do the pickup. Big Irish setter, although you could hardly tell what it was at that point.”
Frank decided it would be useless to remind him about breakfast again.
“So, have you done animal pickup yet?” Chao asked.
“Yes.”
“After hours?”
“Yes.”
“Awful, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so you know that you’re supposed to take the carcass to the walk-in freezer at animal control, put it in one of those big fifty-five-gallon drums, and get the hell out, because the stench in there gets into the wool of your uniform and reminds you of the entire experience for the rest of your shift.”
Frank nodded. Definitely no breakfast. Chao was probably doing this to him on purpose. Then again, Chao could be socially clueless.
“So I’m alone on a rainy Friday night, dragging this big damned dog carcass into the freezer, and I can’t find a drum with enough room in it for him. It’s midnight, I’m looking into these god-awful drums, and it’s freaking my shit out. Plus, the smell. I’m about to shoot my cookies. So I leave the fucking dog on the floor and run out.” Jimmy sighed gustily.
“Animal control complained?” Frank asked.
“Of course. I had to go back on Monday and deal with it.”
“Really?”
“I don’t blame them. Wet dog, freezer floor, and fifty or sixty hours of elapsed time.”
“The dog froze to the floor.”
“You should try for detective.”
It was, in fact, what he dreamed of doing-but today wasn’t going to get him any closer to that goal.
After the shift, Frank wasn’t entirely surprised to find a paper bag filled with dog shit in his locker.
The razzing hadn’t let up much a week later. It hadn’t taken long for the others to realize that a bag of crap wasn’t going to do great things for the locker room’s shared air quality, though, so giving him shit began to take less literal forms. His superiors were giving him all the worst jobs, his fellow officers were still raising their hands at the end of briefings and asking, “Can we hear from Harriman about everything that happened on his last shift?”
All of this made him suspicious, one afternoon, of his training officer’s grin. Gregory “Bear” Bradshaw didn’t temper his enjoyment as he said, “This sounds like a job right up your alley.”
The dispatcher had sent them to an address where they were to take a missing persons report from Mrs. Frieda Sarton.
“Is there something funny about a missing persons report?” Frank asked.
“Oh, no. We have to take Mrs. Sarton seriously.”
Frank decided silence was his best option. Bear was gregarious by nature, so Frank was pretty sure he could wait him out.
They pulled up to the curb in front of a large, old, two-story, Craftsman-style home at the edge of town. The suburbs were moving toward it, but hadn’t reached it yet. Frank was tempted to ask if it was really within the city limits-if it wasn’t, the missing persons case was the problem of the Kern County Sheriff’s Department. But that would have been a stupid rookie question. Dispatch wouldn’t have sent them out of their jurisdiction. Bear wouldn’t have had that look of someone handing off a snakes-in-a-can gag gift, gleefully anticipating the moment the lid would be removed.
The spacious lot was surrounded by a graying picket fence. The front lawn was more brown than green but otherwise cared for. A large tree shaded the sidewalk and house. The shady, wraparound porch reminded him of the one at his parents’ house-there was a big wooden swing in front of one large window. Venetian blinds covered all the windows, slats closed.
There was a pale yellow Cadillac parked under a bougainvillea-covered pergola that served as a carport. Farther up a long concrete drive stood an old garage, one that looked as if it had been designed to shelter horses and a carriage.
An elderly, frail woman in a floral print housedress came out to stand on the porch.
“You ought to be able to handle this on your own,” Bear said, waving to the woman. She waved back timidly, elbow held to her side, fingers giving a slight flutter before she looked down and away, waiting.
Wondering when the hell all this hazing would end, Frank stepped out of the patrol car and approached the house. When he was within a couple of yards from the porch, the old woman took a step back, as if afraid of him.
He stopped, smiled, relaxed his posture, and shut out all thoughts of being irritated with Bear. That wasn’t fair to this old lady. “Good afternoon. Are you Mrs. Sarton?”