Cammie took my hand and sat down beside me. She looked in the direction of the kitchen before speaking in a whisper. “We’ll talk about that later. What’s going on, Cass? You look terrible. Tell us the truth. Are you in some kind of trouble? Is it drugs?”
I’d fallen flat on my face with guilt. They’d all told me being with Brant was a terrible decision, yet I’d gone and done it anyway. My rebellion had led me down a road I didn’t know if I could get back from. I was already thinking about my next score, even though in my heart I wanted to be able to stop. Being in a bad place and seeing the look on their faces made it all real for me. I couldn’t continue down this path. “I’m doing the best I can,” I admitted. “It hasn’t been easy for me.”
Chris sat on the opposite side of me and rubbed my back. “We’re here now. We came because we think you need to come home.”
They couldn’t understand how much I’d thought about it; the idea of being around our family again. At the moment the possibility was unreachable. I was involved in a situation I couldn’t avoid. Running away would only get me in worse trouble. “I’m not going anywhere. I can’t leave Brant,” I lied. The truth was, his secrets were making me question our relationship. Whether he was lying to protect me, or just because he was avoiding the truth wasn’t acceptable. I needed an honest relationship. I needed someone to protect me from the evils of the world, not persuade me to bask in them. I had to start thinking outside the box. It was important to straighten out my life; repair my wrongdoings, and make things right again. Then maybe, after some time, I’d be able to go home again.
“Cassie, please. You need to get away from him. It’s taking a toll on you. We can see it. I think you need help.” My sister was right, though I couldn’t make her aware of it.
“I do not. I’m fine. Can’t we just spend the next two days together and appreciate the time we have?” I was determined to make them see I was fine, even if I had to keep using to prevent from having withdrawals while they were present. “I can show you around town. We’ll go to the strip tonight. The lights on Freemont Street are incredible. Come on, you came all this way. Let’s have a good time. I’ll prove how amazing it is, and when you leave you’ll know I’m happy. I’ve just had a long day. I had to stay late at work and my feet are killing me. My head is pounding out of my head, and I need something to eat before I pass out.”
Cammie and Chris stared at each other for a second. I knew both of them too well to suspect they’d drop the subject. For now they were content on making the most of their trip. As long as I could keep them occupied maybe they’d forget about pulling me away.
My sister, who probably looked the most like me out of my three siblings, was trying to read my mind. I could tell from the way she stared into my eyes at dinner. I kept avoiding her, giving most of my attention to the food Brant had made us. He’d grilled steaks, baked potatoes, and made a creamy macaroni and cheese with big wedges of broccoli in it. The four of us sat outside. We’d turned on the lights around the pool and enjoyed the evening breeze. Much like I’d been when I first arrived, my family were taken back by the place we were calling home. If they only knew about the people we lived with, and what they were involved in they’d have wanted to do whatever it took to get me out of there.
Brant did good being the host. He catered to their needs and went above and beyond to make sure they were satisfied with his actions. He talked about his job briefly basically saying he was an employee of a major corporation for international trading.
Trading my ass. He was stealing. They were all thieves, myself included.
The innocent girl who once left North Carolina was gone. As a package I was a total mess. I had nothing going for me, and now the FBI were on my back for answers I didn’t know how to provide them with.
Brant drank a couple beers while we ate, and much to my surprise left me to be alone with my family. I’d pulled him to the side while doing the dishes to thank him for bringing them to me. He was drying his hands on a towel. I wrapped my arms around the front of him and rested my head on his back. “Thank you, Brant. It means so much to me.”
“I’m glad to see you smiling. I know it’s been tough. It’s almost over, baby. As soon as I get paid we’re out of here.”
He kept saying the same thing to me, but I was beginning to think it wasn’t going to happen, especially since I knew the FBI were investigating the operation. “Brant, when my family leaves I want to talk to you about our future. It’s important to me.”
He spun me around and cupped my face in his hands. “Are you leaving me?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Okay. It can wait then. I’m headed to bed. Enjoy your night.”
It was hard knowing my secret and keeping my composure. What was more difficult was knowing support was so close, yet too far away to grasp. I’d never felt so afraid and alone before. I needed help, mentally, physically, and most of all with freeing myself from danger. I needed to save Brant from himself before it was too late. The idea of him going to jail, even if we didn’t end up together, weighed heavy on me. I didn’t want him having to live his life in a cell. I couldn’t believe the future we’d dreamed of was further away than it had ever been. The harder we fought to move forward, we seemed to be permanently pulling back.
I wouldn’t give up.
I couldn’t, because I knew what the fate would be if I did.
It was hard remembering a time when I had courage and strength. I wondered what happened to that person, and if I could bring her back.
Chapter 13
Cassie
Two days wasn’t enough time to spend with my family, but with my body losing control from withdrawals, I knew it was best that they go. As soon as they left I became deathly sick. Brant assured me it would only be temporary, but many times I felt like I was dying. I was too ashamed to admit I couldn’t do this alone. I needed help, the professional kind. I think Brant knew it too. Between the vomiting and the lethargy I was left a feeble mess.
Still, it was important we had our talk. He needed to know how dangerous his involvement with Rocky had become. I needed to convince him to walk away. I didn’t care if we had to live on the streets. It was better than being under the same roof as a killer.
I didn’t take it lightly that the person who stayed in our room before us had vanished. Usually when that happened it was a given. He’s been murdered – removed. The problem ceased to exist. My only question was how long until Brant was his next victim. I wasn’t going to pretend Rocky was going to pay us and let us go on our merry way. He probably never planned on forking out a cent. Brant was just another pawn in his operation, and he’d use him until his job was finished.
“I need to tell you something, and I want you to really listen to me.”
“What?”
“I think we should leave. Let’s just get our things and go. We don’t have to tell anyone where we’re going. My family knows were okay now, and Rocky can find someone else to do the job. Please, Brant. Please do this for me.”