“What’s gotten into you, Cassie? I know you’re not happy here, but it’s only for a few more weeks. Don’t ruin this for us. It’s too much money to turn down.”
“I don’t care about the money. I care about you. I’m afraid you’re in trouble. I think Rocky did something to the guy who worked for him before you. I think he killed him,” I said softly in case someone were to be listening in on our conversation. “You’re the one who told me to be careful what I say. I’m scared for you, for us.”
“What? Listen to yourself. You’ve been watching too much television. Rocky may be a thief, but he’s never committed murder. I told you, he also runs a legit company. We’re safe.”
I wished I could tell him about Agent Campbell. Maybe if he knew he’d help me get our things so we could leave as soon as possible. “What if we aren’t?”
“I think the drugs are getting to you, baby.”
“I think you’re too damn blind to see what’s happening in front of you. Maybe you’re too stuck on Tammy to consider I’m right.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I’d definitely got his attention. “That night was all you. I told you several times we didn’t have to go through with it.”
He was right, but I knew he wanted it. What would stopping solve? In my head I’d always know he wanted her. It would never change. As much as I knew he loved me, a part of me would always wonder if I’d be enough for someone like Brant. He hadn’t been raised to respect the person you loved. I didn’t even know if he’d ever loved anyone truly before me. Sure, there was his grandmother who raised him, but she was a hard woman to live with. I’d never seen her be affectionate. Perhaps it’s why Brant struggled with his feelings so much. Maybe he didn’t understand them. “It doesn’t matter. I want out of here, and you’re not going to let me go. Whatever happens is your fault.”
He walked out of the room, leaving me to sulk alone.
For the longest time I laid in bed crying. I hated being so overly emotional, but it wasn’t like I didn’t have a reason. My life was falling apart. We were in danger, and I didn’t know how to protect us.
After a while Brant came back into the room. I could tell he wasn’t in the mood to argue. It was obvious he’d gotten high, which made my situation of getting clean much harder. Where he seemed relaxed, I was in excruciating discomfort.
He drove me to the hospital late on Sunday night, hoping they’d be able to give me something to manage my symptoms while the drugs worked their way out of my body.
I lay there on the hospital bed, freezing one minute and sweating the next. My teeth chattered out of fear, and I swore every single nurse who entered the room was out to make me suffer worse. Brant stayed at my side for as long as they’d allow it. A doctor came into the room to give me something that would help me sleep, and suggested Brant go home and rest. He fought with me about it, insisting he wasn’t going to leave me.
“Cassie, please. I hate seeing you like this. I need you to get better.”
“I need to get clean, Brant. Those two days were hell on me, and I’d rather do it now than wait until later, because I know I won’t want to. Don’t you want the old me back?”
He smiled and leaned down to kiss me, his eyes filled with tears. I’d never seen him so emotional, and in that moment I knew it wasn’t just because of my situation. Something was about to happen, and he wasn’t planning on telling me because he knew I’d argue with him about it. Rocky must have met with him while I was in the bedroom searching for ways to get out of there. Now I didn’t know the plan, or how soon it was going to happen.
Then my mind went to Tammy. Would she take advantage of me being away? Would she sink her paws into my man one more time? What was her role in the business, and why was Rocky okay with her screwing around with anyone she wanted?
Nothing made sense. For someone right in the middle of the clusterfuck, I literally had no idea what was going on. I felt like ever since we’d had a threesome things had been distant between us. Brant kept trying, and I refused to care. I thought it was just the environment; having to see Tammy all the time and imagine what we’d all done together, but that night was just the tip of the iceberg.
I’d committed just about every one of the seven deadly sins. My humanity was lost.
Pride: I’d been too conceited to allow my family to dictate my future.
Greed: Stealing had become easy, because I had to have more drugs and personal gain.
Lust: I don’t even have to explain this one, because the past month had pretty much been summed up for me.
Envy and Gluttony: I wanted and wanted and wanted, even what wasn’t mine.
Sloth: Instead of striving for greatness I’d settled into a life of crime and destruction, both mental and physical. I no longer cared what toll it took on me.
Wrath: I couldn’t help from being angry, at myself and everyone around me. It was easier to put the blame on others, even when I knew I was at fault more than any of them.
Growing up in a Christian family, I’d been taught to repent for my sins. I was to a point where I didn’t know where to begin. I thought kicking the habit would be the first step of many I’d have to take, but as I remained in the hospital I wondered if it would even be worth it. If I couldn’t convince Brant to break free of his commitment to Rocky, I was afraid of what could happen. I was reluctant to call him, but I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I scrolled through my phone to find his number and prayed he wouldn’t answer.
“This is Campbell.”
“It’s Cassie Healy. I’m in the hospital. We need to talk.”
Chapter 14
Logan
I’d spent the last eight years going after the scum of the earth because I felt it was my obligation to do so. I’d lost too much in my life to give up. It was my own personal restitution to satisfy the emptiness I felt for doing nothing so long ago.
Maybe my life would have been different. Maybe I would have continued playing sports and gone somewhere with baseball. It was still a bad dream; the horror of what had transpired to take my family from me.
I hadn’t come from a broken family. We were solid, devoted to being good people. My mother was a social worker, and she’d met my father through a joint project with his construction company. Together they worked to build homes for the needy, and fallen head over heels for each other.
My sister had been the first born. She was a tough act to follow, getting good grades, and excelling at every sport she played. I did my best, finding baseball to be my escape after a ton of hard work.
Our parents were proud. They bragged to whomever would listen. We did everything together, especially during the summer months. My father, who owned his business, took off for a whole month every year. My mother saved up her time so she could be with us. We’d pick a different location each time, and spend a full thirty days there, exploring and discovering new things together.
They went to church, and worshipped even when we were away. I remember my mother’s bible versus on Sunday’s. When we traveled in our RV she’d make us sing for hours at a time. When I was little I hated it. When I became a teenager I hated her for making me do it.
Now I know why she was so adamant about instilling morals in her children. I fully understand why she wanted us to be good Christian adults.
Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about my parents. It would have been nice to hear their voices again – guiding me to be the best person I could be; to help others, even when I don’t agree with their beliefs.
Though I quit going to church after their death, I never stopping believing in a higher power. Now, more than ever, I needed to keep that faith, because Las Vegas was like dwelling in Hell. The devil was alive here, and he didn’t take sick days. Like a beacon for evil, this place attracted the worst of humanity. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw someone pay it forward. I suppose that’s what drew me here. I knew there was plenty of misery to surround myself in. I wanted to blend in; to be a different person than the one everyone saw on television – the sad teen son left with nothing but the clothes on his back. Had I not been at my friends that night I would have burned to death like my parents, while my sister and her crack head boyfriend stood out back watching. I still couldn’t imagine what the police thought when they rolled up to our property and found her high as a kite, watching the fire she’d set burn our parents to death.