This plan wasn’t only the two of us running away to live in sin. It was our opportunity to start a life, free of ridicule and hate. It was our chance to be two new strangers in a large town. We were going to be free; free from scrutiny and free from judgment.
I knew I couldn’t have both scenarios. It was my family, or my boyfriend, and as bad as it sounds, I’d had a lot of time to make my decision. They’d kept me from him too many times to keep track of. They’d threatened my happiness, and I was tired of fighting. The bickering and whispers had to stop. I wanted a new life – a new start where I could be a responsible adult.
One call changed it all for me. The moment Brant got word, I knew our future was set. For months we’d been planning our getaway, but Brant stayed focused, seeking out opportunities elsewhere. The call was one he’d been waiting days for; a call offering him a job he said he couldn’t refuse – one that could give us more money than we’d ever need to get started on our life together. It would last for a month or two, and then we’d be set.
Sure, it was good he’d made arrangements, and certainly Las Vegas was going to be an exciting place to start over, but I’d be doing it without the support I’d had my whole life. I’d essentially be alone in a huge city known for crime and sins. It wasn’t exactly a small town safe haven, like I’d been brought up in.
Brant thought it was a good idea to break contact with everyone, on account of my parents having gone to extremes to keep us apart. My dad had called in favors with friends and even told the cops where they could find Brant when he knew he’d violated probation. He wouldn’t stop. He knew if he kept interfering Brant would go to jail, and I’d be forced to stay away from him. They claimed he was bad news, but in the time we’d spent together he’d only ever made me happy. He’d been gentle, supportive, and above all, my only best friend. If they could only see past the tattoos and criminal record they’d see what I was able to – a kind soul who only wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Sure, he was rough around the edges, but everyone deserved a chance at happiness, especially a hopeless romantic like me.
He was loyal to his friends, even though most were a bunch of high school dropout hoodlums. They all congregated in a double wide on the outskirts of town. Most couldn’t hold a job, and some were so hopped up on drugs they weren’t even able to carry on conversations. I never asked how they paid their bills, or managed to afford the drugs and cars they drove. I knew better than to open that can of worms.
Brant seemed better than them. He did what he was able to impress me, using his charm to take me places and win me over. He never had to work hard. Even when I was angry, he found some way to distract me until I forgot what we were fighting about. He’d been good at something else too. His ability to think ahead made me feel like our plan to be together could work.
I just feared it would backfire. My father was a relentless man. People didn’t cross him. He meant business, and when he said he was going to do something, he did it. Much like Brant, he wouldn’t back down. The two of them had that in common at least. They’d fight to the death for me, and it scared the shit out of me to think about losing either of them.
“Why do you keep looking back there?”
Keeping watch out of the rear car window wasn’t my idea of a good time, especially after what I was giving up to be with him. Brant seemed to think we were in the clear, but ditching our phones wasn’t going to stop them from seeking another way to hunt us down. “I’m afraid they’re going to find us,” I admitted. “Dad is probably already coming after us.”
“Baby, chill the fuck out. We’re good.” He took my hand and raised it to his lips. My tolerance level was wearing thin. “I love you. Don’t be such a downer. If I wanted to feel like shit I’ll do it on my own terms.” He smiled, displaying a dimple in the corner of his creamed toned skin. His dark hair was blowing with the breeze coming in the open window. “When we get to Vegas I’m going to buy you something nice. I know this is hard. I get it. Just give us a chance, Cass. We’ve planned this for a long time. Don’t back out on me now. I need you.”
Like my father, Brant always felt his way was the right way. I however, had a different opinion, though I hadn’t yet voiced it. Now he was making me feel guilty. The idea of slipping away to Vegas seemed exciting, but in hindsight I knew it was a terrible idea. Nothing good was going to come from it, but I didn’t have the gall to go against what my boyfriend had already decided. He wasn’t keen on someone standing in his way, and he’d planned this move for far too long to reconsider. He’d made plans, found us a place to stay, and arranged for a job. He’d kill me if I ruined it because of being homesick, not to mention how many hoops he’d gone through to convince a stranger to give him a chance. It wasn’t like he had fantastic references.
“Sorry,” I whispered under my breath. While looking in the upright mirror at my reddened green eyes, I wondered if I’d ever be the same carefree girl again, or if this crazy move would change me. “I know this is what I want. You’re right, Brant. I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us.” In the pit of my stomach I felt a need to continue to worry. This was new for me – all of it. I’d never lived anywhere else than my family home. I didn’t know the first thing about being independent enough to start a whole new life, and Brant hadn’t yet been forthcoming about his new job, which had me a bit concerned. He wasn’t exactly the poster boy for employment opportunities. Since he was being so secretive, I was worried if what he was going to be doing would even be legal. If it wasn’t I didn’t know what I’d be able to do. He wouldn’t listen to me, and I couldn’t exactly call the cops on the only person who was taking care of me.
I’d have to get my own job, and since the only experience I had was working on a ranch, I knew I’d have a hard time finding something I was good at.
Maybe I should have finished college. A few night courses didn’t exactly leave me with a degree in anything. For the life of me I couldn’t ever remember wanting to be anything more than a housewife, much like my mother. Sure, she had a hair salon with my aunt, and both my sisters enjoyed working there in the past, but it wasn’t for me. I pictured having a bunch of kids and homeschooling so I could spend all my time with them. I’d been raised to love and appreciate my relatives. Us children were taught nothing is stronger than the bond between family.
Turning my back on them was excruciatingly hard, especially not having any clue what we were getting involved in.
This was the choice I made, and I couldn’t turn back now. I wasn’t willing to give up my relationship with Brant, and I certainly didn’t want him leaving me behind. This was our future. Like it or not, we’d made the decision to leave and I wasn’t going back.
I thought about my family as I stared out the car window. The faithful group of people who raised me and taught me right from wrong were probably freaking out. I knew they were frantic by now. I was sure they contacted the authorities, or at least my great-uncle who’d been the sheriff in Kentucky for many years. There was little he could do now, since we’d exited the state hours before.
Then there was someone else who filled my mind. I’d treated her terribly. I’d taken out my frustrations on her, knowing it was crushing her heart. I’d said things I’d been taught to never say to someone. My mother didn’t deserve to be told off in her own home, nor did she appreciate watching me walk out the door with no intentions of ever returning. I regretted our last moments together, and I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again. If my father had been there things would have gone down differently. He probably would have got out his rifle and sent Brant to heaven with no regard for how it would affect me. He hated him with a passion, and it showed. He was quite open regarding his feelings for my boyfriend. Maybe it’s why I was determined to be with him. Maybe my rebellious ways led me right into his arms. Maybe I didn’t deserve a surreal life in the country. Perhaps I was bound for bigger and better things, or maybe I was in way over my head.