“So, it’s funny you’re being so nice to me. I’m about to go on a road trip, and I could use the company if you’re interested. I have a package that needs to be hand delivered. It’s a lot of driving, and I get tired. Would you be interested in going with me?” She could have said no, but I had a feeling since I hadn’t let her leave the house she’d be itching to go anywhere.
“It sounds cool. When we came here I didn’t get to stop in many places. Do you think we could stop a few times?”
“I don’t see why not. I don’t have to be back for two weeks.”
She was giddy with excitement. “We can take turns driving. Maybe we could switch every five hours or something. Do you know where we’re headed?”
This was another opportunity I had to divulge the truth, but I chose to lie because I knew she’d flip out and go back to hating me. In total, Cassie had been with me for almost three weeks. Even though we’d done little communicating, I had gotten to know her more. It was my job to read people. Aside from getting healthier, she seemed more relaxed, probably because for the first time in months she was safe. She didn’t have to worry about someone coming after her. I’d done my job, and protected the life of an innocent woman.
“Two weeks on the road. You might want to kill me after the first couple of days. I always have to pee a lot when I’m in a car.”
“No worries. I’ll limit your beverage intake to prevent accidents and frequent stops. We’ll manage just fine.”
When we finished eating Cassie ran in her bedroom to pack. I sent a few emails and prepared the house for our trip, including a note for Charlie. With my line of work she liked to know when I’d be gone on business. I don’t know if she just worried, or wanted to have some crazy nudist party while I was gone. Either way, I didn’t need to know.
We got on the road when it was starting to get dark. Cassie, who’d gotten a new phone, played a game on it silently. I got the feeling she was still uncomfortable in my presence. It was funny to see her around the house, wearing comfortable little shorts and tank tops. When we’d run into each other in the hallway or kitchen she’d cover herself up, like I’d be offended or something. I didn’t act any differently around her though. If I wanted to walk around in only a pair of shorts, I had every right to. It was my house, and I wasn’t going to pretend to be someone else just to appease someone. If they didn’t like the real me, they weren’t worth my time.
Cassie was different than any other woman I’d met. She was the complete opposite from Charlie. She was sweet and generous. She enjoyed doing things for people, and I felt like she was genuinely sorry for all the things she’d done when she was using drugs and caught up in the lifestyle her boyfriend had introduced her to. I knew for a fact she’d been taking better care of herself. She had Charlie pick up certain toiletries she liked to use, and the smell of her sweet skin after a shower made me think inappropriate thoughts when I laid in bed alone at night. I couldn’t deny how attractive she was. I’d be a fool to pretend it didn’t exist, but it was a fine line I didn’t want to cross. Cassie would always picture me as an agent, not a regular guy she might have something in common with, and I certainly didn’t want her to think I’d invited her into my home because I wanted a side piece. That’s not why I did it at all.
Maybe one day she’d be able to thank me for what I’d done for her. I suppose it would have to be enough. I’d rather her appreciate me for being professional, than slip up and have her hate me forever.
For the next several days we could be friends. After that, there was no telling how she’d feel about me. Only time would tell.
Chapter 23
Cassie
It felt so good to get out of that house. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy being in a place where I felt safe. I just preferred to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted. The thing was, I knew deep down inside that Logan was only doing what he thought was necessary. It wasn’t for forever. Soon I’d be free to live my life however I chose to.
A part of me felt sad imagining it. For the first time in my life I felt like I had friends outside of my family that I could count on. Charlie and Logan were constant reminders of how good people could still be. Their tremendous help had saved me in so many ways. I owed them, and I hoped some day I’d be able to repay them for being generous.
After enjoying a nice meal together, and leaving enough for Charlie when she came home from her overnight shift, we packed up the car and hit the road. Logan was very kind to include me, even if it was just to have an extra driver so he could rest. I didn’t mind. The idea of getting out of the city for several days seemed like the best remedy for me. I wanted to see sunsets and stars. I wanted to smell fresh cut grass and a gentle country breeze. I missed farm fields and tractors.
I suppose you can take the girl off the farm, but you can’t take the country out of her, no matter how hard someone tried.
The last time I’d been in a car cross country, I had hopes for a bright future. I was in love and oblivious to what hardships could be like. I’d lost a lot in a little amount of time. It was difficult to think back to a time when I was completely happy with my life. I often wondered if I’d ever really be able to find peace with some of the things I’d done in the past. All I could do is look forward. I’d repent for my sins, and pray that God would forgive them.
Ever since I’d been clean I’d gotten a new aspect on life. I was thankful I hadn’t been addicted for a long period of time, because I knew it would be a harder struggle. For me, being away from the lifestyle was the fastest fix. I assume that’s why Logan took me in. He wanted to make sure I stayed straight. It was funny how at a person’s lowest of times there was someone who could swoop in and still make a difference. After this experience I wondered if I’d be able to do something to give back. Could I help people like he did? Could I be considered a good person? Would doing so help me get into heaven, because I feared that’s not where I was headed.
I know God forgave, but did he absolve everything? My guilt was like a constant reminder, and as much as I tried to let it go, I held myself in contempt.
Logan took the first shift driving. He had the radio on low and was moving his fingers to the beat of each song. I’d brought something to read, but I wasn’t bored yet. I enjoyed watching the city lights fade into the distance. “Do you ever think about leaving Vegas and living somewhere else?”
“Of course. I mean, I’ve settled in okay, but I don’t know if I want to stay there forever. I’d rather move somewhere remote, like in the mountains. I picture myself as being able to live off the land. I think I’d be fine with a cabin, even if there was no electricity. All the hustle and bustle gets to be intolerable. A simpler life would be nice. Maybe one day when I retire I’d come upon a place to spend the rest of my days.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine not having electricity. You’d probably stink, not being able to properly clean your clothes. It’s cool, if you’re into being a caveman.”
I made him chuckle. “Oh, I see. You’ve got jokes. Tell me then, princess Cassie, do you have an idea of where you’d like to live out your days?”
I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like; my perfect sanctuary. “I picture fields of tall grasses, apple trees, grapes growing from vines. I see a small house with a wrap around porch. There’s a lemonade stand out front and my two daughters are trying to get the people driving by to stop for a glass. There’s a chocolate lab by their side, keeping a close eye so they’re not in any danger. He’s their best friend. He sleeps between their matching twin beds at night. I’m sitting on a swing on the porch, the smell of a fresh baked pie consumes me. Clothes on the line are blowing in the wind and a hint of bleach is detected. There are horses and a stable in the distance, and I know at any minute my husband will be home and expect a piece of that pie.”