I left her with an amused grimace before entering the bathroom to get cleaned up. When I came out from showering and brushing my teeth, Cassie was dressed and ready to go. Her clothes were different from the ones she’d worn the night before, and her normally flowing dark brown hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail. “Do you need to use the bathroom before we head out?”
“I did everything before you woke up. I was just waiting to get dressed so I’d be comfortable. I wasn’t sure how long you needed to sleep before you were fully recuperated.”
“Are you hungry?”
“I could eat. Breakfast is my favorite meal.”
“Yeah, I noticed. We share a love for pancakes, remember?” We’d had pancakes several times since she’d been staying with us. I didn’t mind at all, since I too had a preference for them.
“Let’s get out of here then. Time is wasting.”
We found a diner off the main highway to eat at. We shared a pot of coffee and had a stack of pancakes each. Cassie was the first to finish. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds in the past week. If I keep eating like this I’ll weigh more than the cattle my father raises.”
It was hard to picture her overweight when she was still so tiny. I wondered if she took after her mother, and if her other siblings were as good looking as she was. Cassie definitely had good genes. Those eyes, so green and alluring, they did things to me, especially when we were in situations as this. In another life I could have seen myself doing everything possible to be with her; to know her completely. I knew once she was home there was a good chance I’d never see her again. It wouldn’t be worth it to spark something up that could never amount to anything.
Still, a man could dream about it, and that’s exactly what I’d done last night, with her in the bed beside mine. I wanted to feel bad about it, but something wouldn’t let me. Then I got a great idea to make a pit stop and do something fun. At least I could fill her with fun times before I left her in shock and hating me. “Have you ever been skiing?”
“Sure. My uncle in Kentucky had a place in the mountains. I used to love going there with my cousins.”
“Then it’s settled. We’re hitting the slopes as soon as we make it to the other side of Colorado. Are you game?”
“Hell yeah.”
Knowing we were about to have some quality time together, aside from our long journey, made me feel better. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her yet. The only problem with my new and exciting plan was the idea of having too much fun and never wanting it to end.
Chapter 25
Cassie
This guy was making it hard for me to focus on everything else going on in my life. He’d taken me in, provided me shelter, clothes, and food. Now he was taking me places, and going out of his way to make sure I was comfortable. I wanted to believe he was just being a good agent, but I wasn’t that naïve.
I may have had terrible luck with men, but I knew when one was interested more than being a friend. This trip was the perfect opportunity to get to know him on a more personal level, and I’m not talking about what color his sheets were at home. I already knew that from doing the laundry. I’m talking about the chemistry I felt when we were in certain circumstances together. I hadn’t noticed it before, back when I’d first come to live with him. It was more in the recent couple weeks. He’d been different. It’s what made me want to apologize and start over. I could tell it bothered him that I was still holding a grudge. He’d done his job. Yes, I’d lost my boyfriend because of my involvement with the authorities, but Brant was in the wrong, not Logan.
After leaving the diner, I decided to drive for a while. Logan seemed to be in a good mood. He moved his hands to the beat of the music and sang along to a few songs. Then we got on the conversation of favorite bands. From there we talked about our favorite movies, coming to learn we had similar tastes.
Throughout the day we discussed many books, childhood experiences, and even some things we did as teenagers. The longer I spent confined to a small area with Logan, the more I wanted to know. He was the most interesting man I’d ever known. I kept thinking how much my parents would have approved, which made me want to cringe. This was the guy they would have picked for me. He had a good paying job, he was responsible, he had values, and most of all, he wasn’t a criminal. He’d saved my life in more than one way.
He was also another reason why I couldn’t go home. I didn’t want them knowing I was living with another man; one I could see myself getting closer to. They’d say I was moving too fast; that I’d pushed myself into his life, or that he only helped me because I’d turned my back on them.
Another thing that made me nervous was the fact that some things are just too good to be true. There had to be flaws about him. There had to be something he was hiding from me. No man could fit so perfectly in my life. There were no exceptions. He either had deep dark secrets or I’d died and this was all some alternate life in a purgatory reality. Maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there at all. It was possible he was just a nice guy trying to help. Maybe the chemistry I thought was there was just courtesy. For all I knew, he could have been gay, just like Charlie. Maybe he thought I was disgusting, after being strung out and sleeping with my criminal boyfriend, knowing he’d been running around on me. The reasons were almost endless.
It was obvious I was making excuses for not wanting to see if something was happening between us. I’d be a fool to think a couple days at a ski resort wasn’t going to result in either an opportunity for something new, or proof that I was losing my mind.
Almost a month ago I’d lost the man I thought I loved wholeheartedly. Believing someone was my future and finding out he was everything but that had crushed me. My poor judge of character left me vulnerable. I wondered if it was love at all. Can you love someone you don’t fully know? If it was love, why was it getting easier to let go? Why was I imagining someone else making me happy?
With so many questions hovering in my mind, I feared I was acting out of desperateness. Perhaps I was codependent, and needed someone in my life to be happy. It was all too much to think about, especially with one of the men in question only twelve inches from where I sat.
Logan navigated us through the mountains to find the resort we’d be spending the next two days. When we pulled up into the parking lot I felt like I was dreaming. It was beautiful. The cedar logged lodge was more like a mansion. It was three levels with huge windows surrounding the whole building. Since it was a weekday, it wasn’t very crowded. I was able to pull into a front parking spot to make it easy to carry in our bags and get registered. Of course, Logan handled my bag, insisting it wasn’t a big deal.
Right before he walked up to the front desk he stopped and turned in my direction. “I forgot to ask. Are you okay sharing a room again, or do you want me to see how much two will be?”
I didn’t know how to answer. If I told him it was okay to share, he might think I was easy. If I said to get two rooms, he might think I didn’t enjoy being around him. “Um, you pick. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Well since we have to rent ski’s, and probably get some heavier clothes to wear, let’s just share one room. The internet said they were pretty large anyway.”
“That’s fine with me. Like I said, either way.”
Several minutes later we trekked to our shared room. The moment Logan opened the door for me I wondered if this had been his plan all along. Had this road trip given him a reason to make a move? Had he been getting us rooms together to see if something would happen between us?
I decided to stop worrying about it and let it play out. Neither of us were in a relationship. We were currently residing in the same house. Having been around each other for weeks, it wasn’t surprising something could be happening between us, especially now after discovering how much we had in common.