Encouraged by Carnigan’s reaction, Yozef attempted humor. “That reminds me of a joke about a woman, possibly someone like Filtin’s mother-in-law. It seems she was one of three old women who died and arrived in the afterlife at the same time. When they get there, God says, ‘We only have one rule here: don't step on the ducks!’
“The three women agree, though they don’t understand why ducks are so important, and they enter Heaven. Sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is virtually impossible not to step on a duck, and although they do their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
“Well, along comes God with the most unpleasant man the first woman has ever seen. God chains them together and says, ‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this man!’
“The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes God again with an extremely unpleasant-looking man. He chains them together with the same admonition as for the first woman.
“The third woman has watched all of this and is determined not to be chained for all eternity to an unpleasant man like the other two women, so she steps extraordinarily carefully wherever she goes. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. Then one day, God comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on—tall, dark hair, and muscular. God chains them together without saying a word and walks away.
“The happy woman says to her dream man, ‘I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’
“‘I don't know about you,’ the man says, ‘but I stepped on a duck!’”
There was no reaction for some seconds, then the first cracks appeared in granite, like an avalanche that started slowly and then accelerated as an irresistible force. Fortunately, unlike the first time Yozef had cribbed a joke from Earth and told it as a novel one on Anyar, Carnigan didn’t have a mouthful of beer. Yozef was spared an evening shower. And he was fortunate that he had moved his chair back slightly in anticipation at the first signs of motion and thus wasn’t bounced by the edge of the heavy table when both of Carnigan’s fists pounded the defenseless wood.
Other patrons stopped their own activities, as heads rotated toward the volcanic outburst. Then, recognizing Yozef, people spread the word that one of Yozef’s story sessions might be in the offering. The evening’s sparse distribution of patrons flowed around Yozef and Carnigan’s table, forming a U-shape against the wall.
If Carnigan at first noticed the gathering, he gave no sign until his laughter subsided. Then he looked around with his usual angry expression and sighed. “Can’t a man be left in peace with his dark moods anymore?”
“What are friends for, if not to save friends from themselves?” Yozef assured him. “Which reminds me of a story . . . ” and he was off and running with more plagiarized jokes from Earth, many of which fell on deaf ears, since the context was lost, but enough of which hit universal themes and references to maintain his reputation as a major wit.
The pub was nearly empty when the Yozef decided it was past time to head home. The problem with that intent was that once he stood, moving in a straight line proved troublesome. Still, considering the amount of strong beer he’d consumed, his brain idly wondered why he was even standing. Carnigan, evidently possessing an infinite capacity for beer, steadied Yozef and walked him the mile to his house.
It had been a good evening. As he dozed off in his bed, Yozef thought that everything considered, it wasn’t a bad life. He had friends. The affair with Bronwyn had ended, though with good memories and no real regrets. The affair with Buna had ended, which was the important fact. He was making a difference. He was well-known and respected, and he thought he had a plan to focus his life. All in all, it could be a lot worse.
Chapter 30: The Raid
Musfar Adalan was a contented man. From the aftcastle of his flagship, he could see all five of his ships. Granted, they weren’t real warships, with heavy cannon and three- to four-foot bulwarks, but their 15-pounder cannon would subdue any lumbering merchant ship, and they were agile and fast enough to outrun anything they couldn’t outgun. He’d brought seven ships with him to Caedellium. Two ships had sailed home laden with spoils: gold, silver, jewelry, fine rugs and cloth, slaves, and whatever goods and trinkets caught his men’s fancy and for which there was room in the ship’s holds. The Scourge from Buldor left three months ago and returned the day before the rest of his ships left for the current raid. He would have liked to have the sixth ship along, but rudder problems and other repairs would have delayed the raid by several days, something neither he nor the Narthani desired. The seventh ship, the Bravado, had left for Buldor ten days ago, also stuffed high with booty, but with orders not to return. Adalan trusted his sixth sense, and it told him their time in these waters ran short.
Adalan didn’t think of himself as a pirate by trade but as more of an “opportunist,” ready to take advantage of opportunities. Sometimes those involved pirating, but, depending on circumstances, he and his men dabbled in the slave trade, smuggling, raids, and mercenary work when the remuneration was appealing. It was a version of the latter two activities that engaged them on this day and had for the last several months, raiding the Caedellium coast under the patronage of the Narthani. Dealing with the Narthani was dangerous, yet he accepted the risks for the spoils he and his men had amassed.
While Adalan was not privy to the exact reasons the Narthani had come to him, instead of using their own formidable navy, it would have taken someone far less sagacious in the ways of the world not to assume it was because the Narthani wanted a plausible of degree deniability. Adalan knew the current arrangement would end whenever it suited the Narthani, but that would be in the future, and Adalan dealt with the now.
This would be their fourteenth raid. For Adalan, the results had assuaged his initial caution. The Narthani gathered intelligence and picked rich, vulnerable targets with meticulous efficiency. Twelve of the first thirteen were successful, with minimal losses. In two cases, Abel Adalan, Musfar’s cousin and second-in-command, had withdrawn before a complete sack, due to indications of reinforcements arriving or where the final holdout positions were judged too strong to be overcome for the expected return. Only one of the thirteen earlier raids was aborted on discovering the Stent Province abbey defended by two hundred Stentese men fortuitously gathered for a muster drill unanticipated by the Narthani. The accompanying Narthani liaison excoriated them in all three cases, but General Akuyun, the Narthani commander, accepted Musfar’s explanations as reasonable.
To Adalan’s thinking, there were two downsides to the arrangement. One was that he knew the time would come when the Narthani no longer needed deniability. Before that day, Adalan planned that he and his men should slip away, in case the Narthani severed their relationship on other than friendly terms.
The second downside was that several Narthani officers always accompanied the raids. They didn’t go ashore, only observed and offered advice, which Adalan neither needed nor wanted. On the first raids, the lead Narthani was tolerable. No such luck on this raid. The three new Narthani stood on the forecastle, the leader using a telescope to examine the shoreline and talking to the other two, one of whom took notes.