"Carson, you said earlier that you thought a brief exposure wouldn't produce any lasting effects," said Elizabeth. "What about longer exposures?"
The doctor shook his head. "I can't say without any experience. Some studies of extended ECT usage reported cases of permanent cognitive deficits."
In two minutes, all Rodney's ideas for harnessing adarite power had gone up in smoke. He stood there, feeling like the rug had been yanked out from under him. Again. This galaxy had an infuriating habit of behaving like Lucy Van Pelt, taunting Charlie Brown with the football.
Elizabeth, however, appeared to have something different on her mind. "Minister Galven mentioned many of the Nistra being in poor health. They're the ones who mine the adarite. For the last few generations, they've been trying to increase production, only to see their situation worsen. Is it possible the adarite is responsible?"
"Although I'd need to examine one of them to confirm it, I think that's very likely," said Carson. "The last few generations, you say?"
"That's right. The Nistra even moved their villages closer to the mining territory."
"Which must have increased their exposure levels," Rodney realized. "Small wonder that their society is starting to disintegrate."
Elizabeth pressed her lips together, considering the new development. "This will change the negotiations markedly," she said at last. "One of the main points of contention is the procurement of adarite. When both parties learn that they're fighting over something so harmful…I can't begin to predict how they'll react."
To say nothing of the fact that Atlantis no longer had much of an incentive to help out with these people's dis pute. Rodney stole a glance across the room, more concerned about the Colonel's reaction than those of the Falnori or Nistra. Sheppard had been counting on finding a weapon to use against the Asurans — more than Rodney deemed healthy, if the truth were told-and it had just been snatched out of his grasp.
Sheppard's expression was still as determined as ever. "So how do we get around this?" he wanted to know.
Carson blinked. "Get around it? I'm not sure I understand."
"We need this stuff, Carson. There has to be a way to counteract whatever effect it has on the brain."
As usual, Rodney was a few steps ahead of him. "Not without altering the energetic properties of the ore, I suspect. We'd lose most of the power we set out to utilize. And any shielding robust enough to block EM-type transmissions of that strength would be impossible to work within." He heaved a sigh. "Believe me, I'm as disappointed as you are."
Normally, he would have labeled Sheppard as a pretty perceptive guy. Today the officer didn't seem to be taking the hint. "Then we limit exposure," he maintained, absently scratching his bandaged forearm. "Work in shifts, maybe. We can't just give up on the research."
Carson hesitated. "I'm not sure that's wise-"
"I'm very sure that's not wise," Rodney declared emphatically. "Did you miss the detail about unknown long-term effects to potentially include amnesia and cognitive impairment? What part of `I need all my brain cells intact' is unclear to you?"
Immediately he found himself under the searing stare of an indomitable colonel. "Nothing about this is unclear to me, Rodney," Sheppard said in a low voice. "What do you suggest we throw at the Asurans when they show up to take Atlantis? This is our best shot at finding a way to stop them. You said yourself that we've got nothing else."
"I never said that I wouldn't keep looking, though! There has to be another approach. One that doesn't involve putting ourselves at risk."
"Sometimes risks have to be taken when tailor-made solutions don't exist."
"Do you honestly think you're the only one worried about our chances against the replicators from hell?" In an unusual flash of insight, Rodney realized he was angry at Sheppard-and why. "You don't even realize that you're running off the rails, do you? You're obsessed with this semi-mythical weapon that's going to solve all our problems, and it's wrecking your judgment."
"You're going to lecture me about being obsessed?" Sheppard fired back. "After Doranda?"
The remark sliced deep, all the more so because it was accurate. Rodney's hubris over Project Arcturus had been forgiven, he'd thought, but obviously not forgotten. "I'm in a unique position to recognize the signs, I think," he responded tightly. "You're so desperate to have an answer for the Asuran threat that you sent us into an unfamiliar location unarmed, and look how that turned out."
He knew he'd struck a nerve when Sheppard's everpresent veneer of calm cracked and he turned sharply away.
"Don't do this, either of you," Elizabeth said softly. "You're a team."
"We're all that's left of a team." Sheppard stalked across the infirmary bay, radiating fury on an unprecedented level. The odd thing was, it didn't appear to be directed at Rodney or anyone else. It was real enough, though; Sheppard was nearly shaking with it. For a man who seemed to pride himself on keeping his cool, he looked dangerously close to letting control slip away.
"You do what you think you have to do," he told Rodney, tension holding his frame taut. "But don't tell me how to do my job. You're not the one responsible for defending this city, and you're sure as hell not the one answering to the families of the Marines we keep shipping home in body bags."
"And none of that alters the fact that some things in the universe are fixed constants, no matter how much righteous anger you summon!" Damn it, Rodney missed his teammates too, but he knew beyond all doubt that neither of them would have wanted this. "What do you want us to do here, Colonel? Tell me. Do you really want to try to build a weapon from something that will destroy our ability to remember why we need a weapon?"
"Maybe I do! What if it's the best option we have? I don't know!" Sheppard yelled.
There was a long silence, in which his wild-eyed frustration fell away, leaving only agonized helplessness in its wake. Rodney had never seen such emotion from Sheppard before, and it shook him. A new possibility arose: maybe the Colonel's anger had been aimed more at himself than anyone else.
"I just don't know," Sheppard repeated quietly.
Rodney knew, because he felt it as well, and he could see that the realization was going to hit Sheppard sooner rather than later. What they wanted, as impossible as it might be, was for Ronon and Teyla to have died for something.
Defeated, Sheppard pivoted on his heel and left the infirmary, punctuating his exit by slamming his open hand into the wall.
The surreal silence hung in the air after he'd gone. Elizabeth stared at the door, clearly at a loss. She looked back at Rodney with a plea in her eyes. "Rodney, there has to be something more we can do to study the adarite before we give up on it."
A few minutes ago, Rodney would have rejected the concept just on principle. Now, after seeing his team leader come close to unraveling in front of him, his perspective had shifted. "I…yes. There are a few tests we can still run with the sample contained in the shielded chamber."
"Aye. I'll help," Carson murmured.
In all likelihood, they'd end up in exactly the same place after those tests as before, but they'd run them anyway. After everything the expedition had weathered, it couldn't be pulled apart by something like this. Rodney was almost sure of it.
John had been walking for ten minutes before it occurred to him to wonder where he was going. The biting wind that assaulted him as soon as he stepped out onto the lower southwest pier was fitting. He needed to confront and be confronted.
"What the hell do you expect me to do?" he shouted into the rolling waves. He didn't rationally anticipate an answer, but then again there had been an Ancient lurking around in their city systems not too long ago. Angels in the architecture. He snorted in contempt. An angel would have helped them, rather than stood idly by as those apathetic Ascended always did. Sometimes he was almost ashamed of his genetic inheritance.