I head for the inmost lairs. Merlin lies upon the sunshine pad. He is breathing too fast, but purring as he breathes. I paw the cage lock open and come in beside him, nuzzling his side. His eyes blink open, lazy, satisfied. Seeing his human has eased him; he seems stronger and happier. I am angry at myself that I care.
"She groomed me; we don't like it when my fur is matted. She praised me and sang my name. Said I was a good cat and whatever I did was fine. I wish I were going home; I could run it to suit myself now. Such a good human." He shuts his eyes, musing on what would have appeared to be the most delightful of Dreamtrails, but what I know has to be that idiot human of his.
"Did you see Her?" he asks eagerly.
"I saw her," I admit. "She thanked me and would have stroked my back. But I was washing. Tell me, does she keep her word? She promised me food for helping you."
"That sounds like her," Merlin says, pleased. "She'll bring you treats. And she understands what we Free Folk like-tender beef in tiny cans; fat salmon and cream and things you can steal off plates."
If he keeps it up, I think again that I will have a hairball, and never mind the respect due to Soulsingers.
"You have made me strong for now, my brother," he praises me. "She will be afraid without me."
"Why is she afraid?" I hate to ask it, but my curiosity stretches and leaps. "She is sleek and well." Not like you, I think. "And she is old enough to be as wise as a female who has raised many litters."
Merlin shrugs, a ripple of massive shoulders on which the fur already has begun to wilt. "Humans fear more than we… pain, voices, fights. Even the pieces of paper that they carry scare them. My human more than most."
He looks up. For a moment, the pain he has suppressed this evening twists his face and drives the wisdom from his eyes. It is not just body pain. "If she conquers her fears, she will be a Soulsinger, too. That is a hard choice for humans, who do not respect the soul art as we do. She fears, but I know she wants to slay her fear. I do not want to leave her till she does. I do not think I could hunt in peace if I left her now."
The moment passes, and his eyes are deep and bright again as the autumn moon. "She will go to ground tonight, just like we do when we hurt. But she should not be left alone. Tonight, I shall watch her dreams. You shall help me, if you will. Have you never stalked a human's thoughts? I promise, my brother, you will find this an interesting game."
Once the two-legs turn down the lights and leave, we huddle together and hunt down the trail of Merlin's human's thoughts. She dodges in and out of the crowd of two-legs, watchful of the huge, foul-smelling things that honk and screech and have two-legs in them playing mating calls. She looks carefully away from the kittens trundled in their carriers by cautious two-legs.
Merlin was all the child I had, the thought lingers like rain in her thoughts. Not was, is. But for how long? Her eyes keep blurring. At that her fear nips her more shrewdly, like a rat. It is not safe to walk the streets with blurring eyes. It has not been a good year, she thinks. Faces shift and go… some clearly remembered; some blurred by years longer than the lifespan of Free Folk.
It is no kindness, the long memories of two-legs, I realize, and I wonder at the thought. Merlin shifts beside me and tries to chirp reassuringly. This far away, his two-legs does not hear him.
She does not look at the little suns that light up the sparkly toys behind clear walls. She does not sniff at the thousand intriguing food smells-or wince at the stenches of foul waters and foul air, or the wild two-legs whom not even a besotted Soulsinger would ever call "human" again.
At a gate scent-marked a long time ago by such two-legs, Merlin's human pauses. To my surprise, she calls, not in the speech of the Free Folk, but in what sounds like it.
"I told you she feeds the Folk who wander," Merlin's "voice" nudged me.
"Does she know what she is saying?" I ask. Merlin grimaces at me.
"She doesn't need to."
Two thin Folk drop from the undergrowth sloping up toward tracks on a bridge and trot toward her. "He's sick, fellows. Red Brother, wish me luck, will you?" The larger cat starts toward her; a smaller one bats him away. Both withdraw.
"I see your point," she whispers. "I didn't bring any food, and I smell sad. I guess I'm not very good company for you today. Sorry."
She turns and trots toward her lair, her eyes flicking in all directions as she crosses the street into a darkened square. Fears squeak in her thoughts: of the two-legs who leap from cars, the ones who pounce from hiding in the bushes, the ones who rush up in the street, or who linger in the halls. From her pouch, she pulls a jangling clutter of metal, an image of the Free Folk dangling from it, and uses it to get into her lair. I am surprised that any two-legs respects the Goddess of the Folk, much less bears Her image.
She sighs with relief when the door shuts behind her. Odd how doors mean prison to the Free Folk and safety to… all right, I won't call them two-legs.
Her lair is small, scent-marked as though Merlin were a full male, and full of toys. Stacks of paper lie on shelves, ready to be tumbled into cozy nests; warm wraps lie on chairs and cushions; a dark cave full of things that bear her scent yawns open.
Merlin's mind flickers into mischief. "'Shoes,' she says those are. For her hind paws. When I don't like my litter, I mark them to teach her better. She calls me 'rotten cat' and laughs. I don't do it much. It is a dirty trick."
He leads me on a thought tour of the tiny lair. "My dishes… and my box… and that's where I nap, on the fancy rug below the window. Someone sent it just for me from halfway round the world."
A bell rings, and the human stops it. "No, they haven't found the thief," she tells it. "None of the papers even have a picture of him. But they found the first kid. All right, thank God. I'd like to find that crazy myself." Her voice turns hard and angry. If she were one of us, her hackles would rise and her tail would lash like a mother in the kittening box with her litter when a stranger gets too close.
"Yes, I'll be careful. Yes, the door's locked. Stop worrying about me. I've got a sick cat to worry about. I have to visit him tomorrow. No, they don't know what's wrong with Merlin." Her voice quivers and breaks. "I'm scared he won't make it."
Beside me, Merlin's body tenses as if he wants to hurl himself through space and land beside her. Her hand goes out as if she seeks the comfort of his fur. Her face twists.
"Just thirteen. Yes, I know, it's old, but they live to be twenty, sometimes… Thanks for thinking of us. He's a hell of a cat, and he's putting up a fine fight. Whatever's best for him. I'll take care. Bye."
She lays down the bell and walks over to the cold box.
"Sliced turkey in there," Merlin says.'"She bought it for me."
Ignoring the delicacy, she pours herself some bitter water. I wrinkle my nose. Merlin shrugs. "It's like catnip, but they lap it up," he explains.
She sits in a chair before a table on which rests a box that holds a window screen. She touches it, and it lights and purrs. She rests her fingers on a pad and moves them, clacking, back and forth. Suddenly, she glances down, looking. "I always come and sit on her lap when she tries to make songs…" Merlin tells me. She tightens her muzzle and blinks her eyes. Salt water runs from them.
The Soulsinger beside me yearns forward, but he is beginning to tire. His body sags and cools.
"Come back," I coax. "You cannot hunt her dreams all night."