Bertha flushed “Because it’s the mildest term you could use in describing the mealy mouthed little bit—”
“Mrs. Cool!” Drumson exploded.
Bertha lapsed into silence.
“Mrs. Cool, the question of malice is one of the most important in this whole case. If you are to win this case, you’ll have to establish that you held no malice toward the plaintiff, none whatever. In the future, refer to the plaintiff in this action as a very estimable young woman of unimpeachable moral character. She is, perhaps, mistaken, but as far as her character is concerned, she is a paragon of virtue. Otherwise, Mrs. Cool, it — is — going — to — cost — you — money. Do you understand?”
“Well, when I’m talking to you, can’t I tell the truth?”
“When you are talking to me, when you are talking to friends, even when you are thinking, you must refer to this young woman only in words that can be repeated anywhere. Can’t you see, Mrs. Cool, that your thoughts as well as your conversation are habit-forming patterns? If you use derogatory expressions in your thoughts, or in some of your conversations, those words will unconsciously slip out at inopportune times. Now, repeat after me, ‘This young woman is a very estimable young woman.’ ”
Bertha Cool said, with evident reluctance, “Goddamn her, she’s a very estimable young woman.”
“And see that you always so refer to her,” Drumson warned.
“I’ll try. If it’ll save me money, I’ll try.”
“Now, what’s this about witnesses being present?”
“Everett Belder and—”
“Now, just a moment. Mr. Belder was your employer?”
“My client.”
“I see. Pardon me, your client. And who else was present?”
“Sergeant Sellers.”
“He was from the police?”
“From headquarters, that’s right.”
Drumson beamed. “I think that does it very nicely, Mrs. Cool. There were no other persons there except the plaintiff?”
“And this Carlotta Goldring. She’s Belder’s sister-in-law.”
“And was she one of your clients?”
“No.”
“What was she doing there?”
“She just opened the door and walked in.”
“And do you mean to say that you made this accusation in front of Carlotta Goldring?”
“Well, I don’t know just how much I said before she came in, and how much I said afterwards.”
“But, Mrs. Cool, why didn’t you wait until this young woman had left the office. If she was virtually a stranger to you, it seems that reasonable prudence would have caused you to withhold any accusation while she was there. We can’t possibly claim a privileged communication as far as this Carlotta Goldring is concerned.”
Bertha said angrily, “I’ll tell you why I didn’t do it; because I was trying to carry on my business. That’s the trouble with you lawyers. All you think about is lawsuits. If a person tried to carry on business so he’d be within the letter of the law, he’d never get anything done.”
Drumson shook his head chidingly. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Cool, but you’ve been indiscreet. You can’t minimize that indiscretion by abusing the law or blaming the lawyers. This is going to be a very difficult action to defend. I’ll want five hundred dollars as a retainer, then we’ll see what can be done. That retainer will carry the case through the pleadings and up to the time of trial. At that time you can make an additional remuneration in case we haven’t been able to get the case disposed of before—”
“Five hundred dollars!” Bertha all but screamed.
“That’s right, Mrs. Cool.”
“Why, fry me for an oyster! Five — hundred — dollars!”
“Five hundred dollars, Mrs. Cool.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t make but fifty dollars out of the whole case.”
“I’m afraid you don’t understand, Mrs. Cool. It isn’t what you have made out of the employment that counts, it’s the fact that right now,” and Drumson tapped the papers on his desk with a solemn forefinger, “you have a potential liability of one hundred thousand dollars chalked up against you in a court of justice. My associates and I may be able to beat this case. I can’t tell, but—”
Bertha got up from her chair, reached over and pulled the papers out from under the lawyer’s hand.
“You’re crazy. I’m not going to pay any five hundred dollars.”
“But my dear Mrs. Cool, if you don’t do something within ten days of the time this paper was served on you, you’ll—”
“How do you go about denying you owe anything like this?” Bertha asked.
“You file what we lawyers call an ‘answer,’ denying the charges contained in the complaint.”
“How much will you charge me to drew me one of these answers?”
“Do you mean just to draw up an answer?”
“Yes.”
“Well — I wouldn’t advise you to do that, Mrs. Cool.”
“Why not?”
“Well, there are certain things about the complaint which impressed me as being rather ambiguous. The document quite evidently was hastily drawn. I think it is subject to a special demurrer, and perhaps to a general demurrer as well.”
“What’s a demurrer?”
“That’s another pleading — a paper filed in court — in which you point out defects in the complaint.”
“And what happens after you file that?”
“You argue it.”
“Is the other lawyer there?”
“Oh, yes, naturally.”
“Then what happens?”
“If your point is well taken, the judge sustains the demurrer.”
“And that means you win the lawsuit?”
“Oh, no. Then the other side is given ten days to amend the complaint.”
“So that it makes it a better complaint?”
“In a way, yes. That’s the layman’s way of expressing it.”
“I suppose all this argument costs money.”
“Naturally, I have to be compensated for my time. That was why I told you five hundred dollars as a retainer would take the case through the stage of pleadings and up to—”
“Why in hell,” Bertha interrupted, “should I pay a lawyer five hundred dollars to go into court to tell the other lawyer how to make his complaint correct?”
“You don’t understand, Mrs. Cool. You persist in looking at it as a layman. There is a tactical advantage in having a demurrer sustained.”
“What advantage? Where does it get you?”
“You gain time.”
“What good does it do to gain time?”
“Why, you’ve postponed the matter. You’ve gained time.”
“And what do you do with this time when you’ve gained it?”
Drumson’s smile tried to be patronizing, but there was a vague uneasiness in his manner as he faced Bertha’s glittering eyes. “My dear Mrs. Cool, you’re letting yourself get all worked up. After all, you’re merely a layman. These matters—”
“What the hell do you do with the time when you’ve gained it?” Bertha interrupted in a voice which stridently demanded the conversational right of way.
“Why, we work on your case, study up on it.”
“And I pay for all the time you put in?”
“Naturally I have to be compensated—”
“So I pay you to tell the other lawyer how to make a better case so you can gain time to charge me more for putting in more time on my case. To hell with that stuff. Don’t you know enough law to know how to try this lawsuit right now?”
“Of course. If I—”