Her finger traced the single black line running from her lower lip to the dip above her chin. The stark Tell tattoo lay dark against her still slightly gaunt complexion. Though she looked young, her soul felt old.
A knock sounded at her bedroom door and Jade peeked inside. “Good morning.”
Rell turned from the mirror and smiled. “Good morning.”
“You’re up early.” Her sister strode across the room and wrapped Rell in a brief hug. “How are you feeling?”
It was a question Rell had been asked a hundred times over the last three days and one not easily answered. Physically she was getting stronger. Her coordination was back and her spirits as good as could be expected, but there were nuances she dared not share with the rest of the Bringers—a heaviness that still stirred within her soul.
She shrugged. “Better—stronger. I think I’m finally getting used to being human again.”
Jade perched on the edge of the bed. “Is it very different from being a Bane?”
“Yes, but it’s difficult to describe.” Rell joined her sister on the bed, wondering how much she should share. Already she’d put Jade through so much. The last thing she wanted was for her to worry even more. It was difficult enough with Siban never more than ten feet away, hovering over her like a mother hen. “The body of a Demon Bane possesses so much power, but it’s dark and there was very little remorse for the things I did.” The concern in her sister’s expression spurred Rell on. “But I don’t feel that anymore. When I think of the emotions I had as a demon, I have a hard time reconciling them with my new life. Most Bane are reactionary.” She paused. “Except for Icarus—and Vile. Their actions are very deliberate.”
“Gregory explained a bit about the Bane before you were returned to your human form.” Jade shifted to face her more fully. “He said that the demons who can steal souls and command the forces are Spoils, the original Bane. There are also Deceivers and Enticers, but these demons can’t steal souls. The rest are human who have been converted and are really just mindless soldiers.”
Rell nodded. “That makes sense. I wonder what Sha-hera is.”
“I’ve seen her and her army nearly lure an entire shipload of men to their death. I suspect the Captain of the Succubus army is an Enticer.” Jade shook her head. “She is one nasty piece of work.”
“And deadly.” Rell gave an exaggerated shudder. Though she’d tried to stay out of the succubus’s way in the Shadow World, encounters with Sha-hera had still been too frequent. Close to Vile and at odds with Icarus, Sha-hera had set herself between father and son, hoping to grab Icarus’s power when Icarus was banished.
A comfortable silence stretched between them. Since her transformation, Rell had spent very little time alone with her sister and there were still things that needed to be said—apologies to be made. “Jade.” She covered her sister’s hand with hers. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for everything I put you through.”
Shame over so many betrayals swamped her. Not only had she kept the truth about their mother still being alive a secret, but she’d helped Icarus lure Luc and Jade into the Shadow World. Memories of those dark days threatened to crack Rell’s will.
Her sister’s expression softened. “You don’t have to apologize—”
“Yes I do,” Rell said, cutting her off. “I need to say these things so you know that I understand what I did.” Jade’s lips tightened into a thin line, but she didn’t reply, only gave a single nod. “After I’d been turned into a Demon Bane, I was more scared than I had ever been in my life. My mind was not right, battling to accept what I’d become and the loss of my family and my human life. I remember thinking that if I couldn’t accept my demon form, there was no possible way mother would accept me.” She swallowed down the memories of those first chaotic hours. “You were still a child, innocent and accepting. I needed somebody to see that I was still Esmeralda.”
“I understand.” Jade gripped Rell’s hands and squeezed. “Don’t torture yourself.”
“I’m not torturing myself, and I’m not making excuses for my actions. I had no control over being turned Bane, but by taking you away from our home when I knew mother still lived, I purposefully inflicted that same life on you. I forced you to live in the Shadow World with me. It was no place for a child. Cold, lonely, and dangerous. If the demons had discovered us, you would have shared my fate.” She paused. “I knew it was wrong, but after a while the thought of living alone was unbearable. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that mother was alive. For that I will always be sorry.”
“I won’t.” Jade leveled her gaze at her. “If everything we’ve gone through had to happen to bring us to this point, then I’d gladly live it again—even father’s death.”
Her sister’s answer surprised her. “Why would you say that?”
“What’s happening between the Bringers and the Bane is so much bigger than us, Esmeralda.” Jade’s use of her human name bit at Rell like a raw sore. No longer did she feel like Esmeralda. That girl was dead. “Not only have we both lived in the Shadow World, but you were a Demon Bane. You have more to offer the Bringers than anybody alive. You know how they think and feel, what they’re capable of physically.” She cocked a brow. “You and Siban may be the best secret weapons in the Bringer arsenal.” Jade touched her finger to the spot below her lip, indicating Rell’s Tell tattoo. “And since both of you are Tells, together you may be doubly effective. None of us who grew up on this side of the Arch have yet learned our full potential, but now there are those who can teach us.”
Rell thought about it. Being a demon was still fresh in her mind, but perhaps over time the memories would fade—she hoped those memories would fade. “You might be right, but the price we’ve paid thus far has been steep.”
“And bound to grow steeper before this war is over.”
Siban stuck his head into the bedroom. “Breakfast has been set in the Great Hall. Are you hungry?”
She sighed. “With the meals mother and Delphina keep feeding me, I won’t stay thin for long.”
“But there’s no getting around it.” Her sister stood and tugged Rell to her feet. “Best to eat and not have to listen to either of them harp at us.”
“You’re probably right.”
In the hallway Siban placed a hand on her back, guiding Rell down the stairs with Jade in the lead. He’d been her constant companion, only leaving her to sleep. Though sweet, his hovering made her feel pinned in at times. Being around people, and him specifically, would take some getting used to. Hopefully Siban would realize she wasn’t as delicate as he believed.
The smell of bacon and the din from the household full of Bringers reached her before they’d turned the last corner. Noise and so many people set her nerves on edge. Their flowing conversations were like webs she tried to avoid. Besides Jade’s presence, her life had been isolated in the Shadow World. The ability and desire to engage in senseless chatter had been lost.
As if sensing her apprehension, Siban’s arm slipped more firmly around her waist. He led her to the end of a long table. “Sit here and I’ll get us food.”
She eased onto the bench next to the oldest of the three Bringer sisters, Juna. She was deep in conversation with Gregory, which gave Rell a chance to observe the two of them. Where Juna’s sisters emanated kindness and caring, she carried herself like a hardened warrior. Though she strongly resembled Ravyn, the older Bringer had none of her sister’s carefree or compassionate demeanor.
Harsh whispers between Juna and Gregory reached Rell’s ears. The two appeared to disagree about what the Bringers’ next move against the Bane should be. Rell settled her gaze on Siban, but her attention was fixed completely on the conversation next to her. She wondered if Juna was King Gregory’s woman. He certainly allowed her far more freedom in speaking her mind than seemed normal for a king.