"Don't break that radio," Remo said.
"It's all right," Ruby said. "I got that for Mama when I take her on drives. She like to talk a lot and I don't like to listen all that much. This way she talks to somebody else."
Chiun found the "on" switch and the radio squawked into the car, filling it with sound. Ruby reached over the seat and turned down the volume. She handed Chiun the microphone.
"So now you see why we gotta talk to that tired-ass boss of yours, that Doctor Smith," said Ruby.
"No, I don't see," said Remo.
"'Cause we gotta find out where Lucius was
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taken. And he's got a better chance of knowing than we got," Ruby said.
"Sorry. No more. I'm done with that gang."
From the back, Chiun called, "This is very interesting, Remo. This device is obviously hooked up to an insane asylum. I keep getting talked to by idiots who have some kind of handles attached to them."
"A handle's a name that they call themselves," said Ruby, and to Remo, "You've got to do it."
"No."
"For me," said Ruby.
"Especially not for you."
"Will you two be quiet?" said Chiun. "Somebody here knows me. He says he is my good buddy."
"Then for Lucius," Ruby said.
"The hell with Lucius."
"Lucius never do nothing to you."
"Only because I never met him," Remo said.
"He's my brother. You got to call that Doctor Smith."
"No."
"Then I'll call him," said Ruby.
"You call him and I'll leave." Remo glanced into the rear-view mirror. Chiun had a broad smile on his face and was turning to the left, pressing his face against the window, then leaning across the seat to press his face against the right window, then turning in the seat to smile out the back window.
"Chiun, why are you smiling?" Remo asked.
"Some one of my good buddies told me that breaker, breaker, picture taker is here and I am smiling for my picture."
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"Picture taker?" said Remo. "What's that mean?"
"That means you going too fast," Ruby screeched. "Slow down."
Too late. From behind the wall of a bridge overpass, a hidden police car pulled out into the traffic lane, flicked on its siren and flashing lights, and started after the speeding Remo.
"You just told me I was going too slow," Remo said.
"Not when there's a cop around. Picture taker, that's radar by the cops. They was warning you on that radio," Ruby said. "Now we gets arrested."
"Not exactly yet," said Remo as he tromped on the accelerator.
The trooper disappeared far behind as Remo went over the second hill in the road at one twenty-five, took an exit onto a side road to avoid troopers who would try to pull him off up ahead, and slowed down to ninety for the rest of the trip into Norfolk.
When they pulled up in front of Ruby's wig factory, Chiun was shouting in Korean into the CB microphone.
"What's he saying?" Ruby asked.
"He's telling somebody that if he ever meets him, he will crack him like an egg on the sidewalk," said Remo.
"Why he say that?"
"I think somebody called him ratchet jaw," Remo said.
The taste of salt hung in the air on Jefferson Street like a daytime fog, as Chiun followed Remo and Ruby out of the car.
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From a small restaurant across the street, Smith saw them, left a nickel tip on the table, and walked quickly outside.
"Remo," he called.
The three turned to look at the man in the gray suit coming across the street.
"Who's that?" Ruby said.
"As if yon didn't know, fink."
"Chiun, who's that?" Ruby asked.
"That is the Emperor Smith," Chiun hissed.
"That's him? He don't look like much," said Ruby.
"And when you get to know him, he's even less," Remo said. "What are you doing here, Smitty?"
"I'm looking for Lucius Jackson," said Smith. "Are you Ruby Gonzalez?"
Ruby nodded.
"I think we might find out something about your brother's disappearance in the piney woods in South Carolina," Smith said.
"We was just there," Ruby said.
"And?"
"Wait just a minute," Remo said. "Smitty, we aren't working for you anymore. What are all these questions ?"
"If we're both trying to do the same thing, doesn't it make sense to do it together?" asked Smith.
"No," said Remo. "I'm leaving."
He took a step away but was stopped by Chiun who let loose a flood of Korean words. Remo listened, then turned back to Smith.
"All right. But you're not in charge here. I am."
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Smith nodded.
"We were too late to the piney woods. There was some kind of army there but they moved out. Nobody knows where. But Lucius and the others weren't there at all and that's all we know."
"An army," Smith said.
"That's right," said Remo.
"An army should leave traces," said Smith.
"Good. You sniff 'em out," Remo said, "and let me know what you find out." He walked into the wig factory. Smith followed him.
"What'd you tell him to make him change his mind and stay?" Ruby asked Chiun.
"It is not important," said Chiun.
"I want to know."
"I told him that if he left now, he would not discharge his debt to you for saving his life, and he would forever be subject to listen to your squawking screeching voice, yelling in his ears."
Ruby patted Chiun on the shoulder. "That was a good thing to tell him."
"And true," said Chiun who still had not figured out a way to get Remo and Ruby together to create a new baby for Sinanju.
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CHAPTER TEN
"Fourteen college buses, spaced at five-minute intervals, have been seen riding along Route 675 toward Pennsylvania," Smith said, as he hung up the telephone.
"So what?" said Remo. "They're going to a baseball game."
"They're from Marywether College, Allenby School, Bartlett University, Southern Jersey State, Northern School of the Atlantic, and Saint Olaf's."
"All right," said Remo. "A cricket game. So what?"
"So there are no colleges by those names in the United States," Smith said.
"Can we get a fix on where they're going?" Ruby asked.
"It's in the works. They'll be monitored," Smith said.
"Time to move out," Ruby said. "Be back tomorrow, Mama. Iffen you get hungry, you send somebody out from downstairs to get you something. We going for Lucius."
"I be all right, chile," said Mrs. Gonzalez, swaying back and forth in her rocking chair. She looked at Smith and shook her head no, trying to
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catch his eye, still believing that he was the one with the power to decide whether or not to bring back Lucius and trying to convince him not to.
Driving out of Norfolk, Chiun fiddled with the CB radio.
"How do you like retirement?" Smith asked Remo.
"A lot better than I liked working for you," Remo said.
"Have you given a thought to what you'll live on?" Smith asked. "You know that you just can't keep charging things to me anymore."
"Don't you worry about me," Remo said. "I'm going to be a television star. And when those residuals come pouring in, I'm going to live like a king forever."
"You retired," Ruby said to Remo. "You don't look like the retiring type."
"I quit," said Remo. "Too many bodies without names, too much death."
"Remo," said Smith sharply. Remo met his eyes in the rear-view mirror. Smith glanced toward Ruby.
"Don't worry about it, Smitty. She knows more about the organization than you could guess. If you didn't find us, she wanted us to find you."
"You're remarkably well-informed," Smith said to Ruby.
"I keep my ears open," Ruby said.
"Which is hard when you have ears like Brussels sprouts," Chiun said.
A squawking came over the radio and Chiun said hello.