With a heavy sigh Hunter reached over and patted my knee.
"Sky's just really angry. Not every Woodbane is evil," he said. "Your mother wasn't. Belwicket wasn't. I'm half Woodbane. There are many, many good Woodbane out there."
"But not Killian, right?" I asked somberly. "And not Ciaran."
Neither Hunter nor Eoife spoke, and silently I reached for my coat and let myself out of that house. Once again my heritage was catching up with me.
11. Shades of Grey
I thank you for trying to intercede on my behalf, but it had been decided, Brother Colin. I have been remanded to the Abbey at Habenstadt, in Prussia. I expected such action to be taken against me once I confessed my many sinful thoughts to Father Benedict. And how can I question the fairness, the wisdom of such a judgment? There, away from the source of my temptation, among the contemplatives, perhaps God will show me a path through my tormented mind. As for Nuala, she has disappeared. I pray that God watches over her.
—Brother Sinestus Tor, to Colin, April 1769.
That night, at Bree's house, Raven didn't show for the circle. I'd arrived on time, and I was wearing cargo pants and a soft, thin sweater. After I'd gotten home from Hunter's, I'd felt depressed and confused, so I had cleaned the kitchen, done some laundry, scooped Dagda's box, and promised myself to try not to look so scruffy all the time.
After Bree opened the door, the first person I saw was Sky. I was still stinging from her Woodbane comment but at the same time I knew she was in love with Raven and getting burned and was not in a good frame of mind.
"I think we are all here," Hunter said. His voice sounded both rough and melodious, and for no good reason I suddenly remembered how his voice sounded in my ear, talking to me when we were making out, hearing his breath coming hard and fast because of what we were doing. I felt myself blush and turned away from him, taking a long time to dump my coat on the pile in the hallway.
"Let's go into the den," Bree said. "It's more comfy in there."
"Actually," Hunter said, "I checked it out and it's full of electronics and furniture. Do you have someplace more bare?"
Which is how we ended up sitting in a chalk circle on the flagstones at one end of her enclosed pool. Above us we could see the stars, wavering and dim through the glass enclosure. The furniture had been stacked and covered; the water was still and dark. The vibrations were very different here, surrounded by water and stone and glass.
"While we wait to see if Raven is coming," said Hunter, "let's go around the circle and get a quick rundown of what you've been up to, what you've been studying, any questions you have, and so on. We should be preparing for Imbolic, also. It's a time to think about new beginnings." He nodded to Matt, who was sitting to his right.
Matt was starting to look more like himself after weeks and weeks of looking both odd and somewhat disheveled. Tonight he was wearing a dark red velour sweatshirt and black cords, and his thick black hair was neatly cut, and brushed smoothly back. "I'm okay. I've been doing some general studying of correspondences—especially how to work with crystals."
"Good," Hunter said. "Next."
Thalia sat up straighter. I didn't know Thalia all that well; like Alisa, she had been part of the original Kithic coven, led by Sky, before they had absorbed the six of us who had been in the Cirrus coven, originally led by Cal. "I've been crazed with a science project. Other than that I've been reading a book about candle-burning rituals. It's really interesting."
"I'm still doing a lot with the Tarot," said Bree. "I'm really loving it. Every time I do a reading, it's like a therapy session. I have to sit and really think about what the cards said and how it applies to my life."
Robbie was next. "My dad lost his job. Again. Mom's threatening to kick him out. Again. He'll get another job, Mom will get off his back, everything will be back to normal. Again. It's a little stressful, but I'm used to it. In terms of Wicca, I've been reading Ellis Hindsworth's Basic History of the White Art."
"That's a good book," said Hunter. "I hope things quiet down for you at home."
Sharon, Ethan and Jenna all checked in. Simon Bakehouse, between Jenna and me, said he'd been studying Celtic deities.
I thought about how ironic it was that Amyranth was planning to destroy Starlocket at Imbolic, which is supposed to be a time of rebirth. It seemed especially horrible. I felt a twinge of panic at the weight of my responsibility. When it was my turn to speak, I cleared my throat. "I've been studying a bunch of different stuff—history and spells and the basics of spellcraft. I'm having a hard time in school. And my parents are against Wicca."
Alisa Soto was next. Most of us were seventeen and eighteen, and so she, at fifteen, seemed very young. "My dad is against Wicca, too. He thinks it's some kind of weird cult. I don't get it. Two of my aunts practice Santeria, so he should accept alternative religions. I've been reading a biography of a woman who discovered Wicca and what it means to her."
Last was Sky. She didn't look at any of us, and her voice was low and steady, almost expressionless. "I've been studying the medicinal uses of herbs. I'm thinking of going back to England for a while."
I looked at her in surprise, wondering of she wanted to leave because of how Raven was acting. Sky and I had never been close, but we had forged a mutual respectful relationship, and I would miss her if she left.
"Okay," said Hunter. He didn't look surprised. I figured that this must be something he and Sky had already discussed. Turning back to the circle, he held a hand out to each side. "I guess we can assume Raven's not coming, so let's stand up, join hands, close our eyes, and concentrate. Relax everything, release any pent-up energy, focus on your breathing, and open up to receive magick."
Now the twelve of us stood in a circle. Hunter and Bree had lit many candles, and they surrounded us, flickering with our movements. I was beneath stars, next to water, standing on stone, in a circle of magick, and I felt that quick ecstatic fluttering in my chest that told me my body was open to receive what the Goddess wanted to give me.
Slowly we moved deasil around our central candle. Hunter started a basic power chant, one we'd used before. Out voices wove together like ribbons, like warm and cold ocean currents sliding into one. Our faces were lit by candles, by joy, by fellowship, by an unexpected yet required trust of each other. Our feet flew across the flagstones, our energy rose, and the magick came down and surrounded us, lifting our hearts, fillings us with peace and excitement, making our hair cackle with static. During this time my worries about Ciaran, my dangerous mission, my fears all melted away. This was pure white magick, and it seemed a million miles away from the darkness and destruction that Ciaran represented.
I could have stayed in the circle all night, whirling, feeling the magick, feeling beautiful and strong and whole and safe. But gently, gently, Hunter brought it down, slowed our steps, smoothed the energy, and then we sank gently on the stones again, our knees touching, our hands linked, our faces flushed and expectant.
"Everyone take a moment, close your eyes, and think of what you'll turn your energy toward," Hunter said softly. "What do you need help with, what are you able to give? Open your heart and let the answer come, and when you're finished, look up again."
My head drooped, and my eyes fluttered shut. There was a strong, pulsing cord of white magick inside me, there for the taking, there for me to use as I would. The answer came to me almost immediately. Let me save Starlocket. Let me protect Alyce from harm.