He looked deep into Mel's eyes then, unafraid of what he felt, and the silence was deafening in the tiny room. “Maybe we could have changed all that. But not for long.” He sounded more professional now. “I've done two heart-lungs myself in the last year. For obvious reasons, I have particularly strong feelings about that. There's no reason why it can't work, and it will.” It was too late for his wife. But in his heart he would never give up the fight, as though he could still convince her to let him try. Mel watched him with a pain in her soul for what he'd been through, and the helplessness he felt which still showed in his eyes.
Her voice was very soft when she spoke. “How many children do you have?”
“Three. Mark is seventeen, Pam will be fourteen in June, and Matthew is six.” Peter Hallam smiled then as he thought of his children and looked at Mel. “They're all great kids, but Matthew is the funniest little kid.” And then he sighed and stood up. “It's been hardest on him, but it's hard on all of them. Pam is at an age when she really needs Anne, and I can only give her so much. I try to get home early every day, but some crisis or other always comes up. It's damn hard to give them everything they need when you're alone.”
“I know.” She spoke softly. “I have that problem too.”
He turned and watched Mel's eyes, seeming not to have heard what she said. “She could at least have given us a chance.”
Mel's voice was soft. “And she'd most likely still be gone now. It must be very hard to accept.”
He nodded slowly, looking sorrowfully at Mel “It is,” and then as though suddenly shocked at all he had said he picked the charts up in his arms, as though to put something between them again. “I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you all that.” But Melanie wasn't surprised, people often opened their hearts to her, it had just happened a little more quickly this time. He tried to brush it off with a smile. “Why don't we go down the hall and visit Pattie now.” Mel nodded, still deeply moved by all he'd said. It was difficult to find the right words to say to him now. and it was almost a relief to see the child she'd brought out from New York. Pattie Lou was obviously thrilled to see both of them, and it reminded Mel of why she was there. They spent a comfortable half hour chatting with the child and as Peter read the results of her tests, he seemed pleased. He turned to her at last with a fatherly look in his eyes.
“Tomorrow is our big day, you know.”
“It is?” Her eyes grew wide, she seemed at the same time both excited and unsure.
“We're going to work on your old heart, Pattie, and make it as good as new.”
“Can I play baseball then?” Mel and Peter both smiled at the request.
“Is that what you want to do?”
“Yes, sir!” She beamed.
“We'll see.” He explained the procedures of the following day to her, carefully, in terms she could understand, and although she seemed apprehensive, she was obviously not desperately afraid. And it was easy to see that she already liked Peter Hal lam. And she was sorry when they both left her room. Peter glanced at his watch, as they left. It was after one thirty.
“How about some lunch? You must be starved.”
“Getting there,” she smiled. “But I've been too engrossed to think of food.”
He looked pleased. “Me too.” And then he led her outside and it was suddenly a relief to be out in the fresh air. Peter suggested a quick lunch, and Mel agreed, as they strode in the direction of his car.
“Do you always work this hard?” she asked him and he looked amused.
“Most of the time. You don't get much time off from something like this. You can't afford to turn your back on it even for a day.”
“What about your team? Can't you share the responsibility of all this?” Otherwise the burden would be too much to bear.
“Of course we do.” But something about the way he said it made her doubt his words. One had the feeling that he took most of the responsibility on himself, and that he liked it like that.
“How do your children feel about your work?”
He seemed to think for a moment before he spoke. “You know, I'm really not sure. Mark wants to go into law and Pam changes her thoughts on the subject every day, especially now, and of course Matthew is too little to have any idea what he wants to be when he grows up, other than being a plumber, which he decided last year.” And then Peter Hallam laughed.” I suppose that's what I am, isn't it?” He grinned at Mel.” A plumber.” They both laughed in the warm spring air. The sun shone down on them both, and Melanie noticed that he looked younger here. Suddenly, she could almost imagine him with his children.
“Where shall we go to lunch?” He smiled down at her from his great height, obviously comfortable in his kingdom, but it wasn't just that. There was something more. There was a new bond of friendship between them now. He had bared his soul to her, and told her about Anne. And as a result, he felt suddenly freer than he had in a long time. He almost wanted to celebrate the lightness he felt in his heart, and Mel sensed his mood as she smiled at him. It was remarkable to think that he dealt in life and death, and she had come to Los Angeles to deliver a desperately sick child to him. And yet, in the midst of it all, they were still alive, still young, and slowly coming to be friends. And not so slowly at that. Something about him reminded her of the instant openness she had felt when she met Grant, and yet she realized that she felt something more for this man. He was potentially enormously attractive to her, his strength, his gentleness, his vulnerability, his openness, his modesty combined with his enormous success. He was an unusual man, and as he watched her, Peter Hallam was thinking many of the same things about her. He was glad he asked her out to lunch. They had earned the break. They were both people who worked hard and paid their dues, and it didn't seem out of place to take a little time together now. Mel told herself that it would help the interview.
“Do you know L.A. well?” he asked.
“Not very. I always come here to work and dash from one place to the next until I leave. I never have much time for relaxed meals.” He smiled, neither did he, but today it felt right. He also felt as though he had made a new friend. And she smiled up at him now. “I suspect you don't usually go out to lunch, do you?”
He grinned. “Once in a while. Usually, I eat here.” He waved at the hospital behind them, and stopped at his car. It was a large, roomy silver-gray Mercedes sedan, which surprised her, The car didn't really look like him, and he read her thoughts.
“I gave this to Anne two years ago.” He said it quietly, but there was less pain in his voice this time. “Most of the time, I drive my own car, a little BMW, but it's in the shop. And I leave the station wagon at home for my housekeeper and Mark to drive.”
“Do you have someone good with your kids?” They were just two people now as they drove in the direction of Wilshire Boulevard.
“Fabulous.” He looked over at Mel briefly with a smile as he drove. “I'd really be lost without her. She's a German woman we've had since Pam was born. Anne took care of Mark herself, but when Pam was born she was already having cardiac problems and we hired this woman to take care of the baby. She was to stay for six months”—he smiled at Mel again—“and that was fourteen years ago. She's a godsend for us now”—he hesitated only slightly—“with Anne gone.” He was getting used to words like that now.