I ran off the scarred one off, Micah. I thought, as your lieutenant, it was my place…
Micah rammed into Luke, upending him in the circle and holding him down with both paws across his chest and his mouth open around Luke’s neck. The gang of Betas backed down immediately going to their bellies, tails and heads dropping in submission and Luke, after a brief startled yelp, held perfectly still.
My lieutenant? Do you honestly think I would allow a bully like you to be anything in any Pack structure? Gareth is my friend, Luke. He is my second-in-command in the human world and Pete is the highest-ranking wolf when I’m not around. What gives you the right to make yourself my second here? If you or your friends attack Gareth in or out of the circle again, you will all answer to me. Are we clear?
He shook the other wolf once just to make his point. Micah knew he had the attention of every wolf at the Gathering so he took yet another opportunity to defend Gareth.
He knew the others, especially this group of youngsters, assumed that because Gareth only had one good eye that his stature in the Pack was lessened. Micah knew that because Gareth had grown up in a Pack and fought his way to become one of the Beta males in Curtis’ old Pack that he could hold his own, half blind or not, against any one of these new-to-a-Pack wolves.
Yes, Micah. I’m sorry. I won’t attack the scarred one again.
His name is Gareth. Use it. With that Micah released Luke who immediately flopped onto his belly and as soon as Micah turned his head away, jumped to his feet and ran, tail tucked between his back legs, back to his friends.
Micah turned back to the rest of the Pack only to see Olivia standing frozen in the middle of the group of unattached females. She shied away from contact with all of them. Her head went up when he caught her eye, then she turned and ran from him as well.
He focused on the female running away from him, from the Pack and caught her thoughts. Monsters, all monsters.
Growling out his frustration, Micah took off after her, throwing a thought at the Pack as he left the Gathering circle. Thank you all. Be free, my friends. Enjoy, I’ll be back.
Liv might be small and quicker on her feet, but Micah had desperation on his side. He had to convince Olivia to accept this world. It was just as much a part of him as the human world and it was for her as well. She needed to accept the animal behavior, the Pack structure if she was ever going to accept him. And he wouldn’t have anyone but her at his side.
Micah skidded to a halt at the side of the path. Olivia stood beside Gareth, her sides heaving, both from exertion and the anguish he could feel rolling off her. Gareth looked at him then turned his head slightly to the side.
Gareth, are you all right?
I’m fine, Micah. This is really nothing new. I’m just going to say goodnight now. Micah watched Gareth limp off. He took note of the fresh wounds on the other wolf and knew that none of them were life-threatening. Gareth would heal, physically, with his next change. The attack by the Betas was just another strike against Gareth ever feeling comfortable with this Pack. It was a problem he’d have to address in the very near future, but for now, Olivia was more important.
Olivia, why did you run?
I can’t deal with that, Micah. It’s just not right. I don’t know how to deal with it. All of my dreams, the running, the fighting. I even dreamed of chasing a rabbit. Oh God, Micah, the sound that rabbit made. I can’t do that, I can’t be that. I can’t be a wolf. I’m not good at it.
Moving slowly, Micah rubbed against Olivia’s side. Sweetheart, stop. Take a deep breath and think about this for just a minute. Before you knew what you were, your subconscious wolf mind took over, but here you are, in wolf form, having a conversation with me. If your human mind weren’t in control, do you honestly think we’d be talking right now?
He bumped her with his head, playfully butting into her. Olivia growled softly then sighed, shaking her head. She looked surprised when she continued to shake, all the way to her tail.
There is much joy in this form, Olivia. There are so many things we can do as wolves that we’d never do as human. If you chase a rabbit, even if you catch and kill it, it’s because the wolf in you has taken control for that brief moment in time. You can control the wolf. You can still be human in this form, but it’s easier sometimes to let the wolf out, to let it run free and not worry about your human form. We call it moonlust and it usually happens to young wolves. The more you shift, the more time you spend going from human to wolf and back again, the more control you’ll have over your animal self.
For now, let’s just concentrate on the joy. Run with me, Liv. Run with me in the moonlight, under the blanket of darkness. Run with me and feel the freedom in this form. Micah moved slightly away from her, wagging his tail, giving her his best wolf grin. Olivia stared at him for a long moment.
You’ll help me get back to my human form if I get distracted?
Micah stopped wagging his tail, stopped moving altogether. You have to do it yourself, Liv. You have to learn to control your shift.
But you’ll stay with me? Her head dropped as her ears shifted back against her skull.
Micah felt physical pain when he looked at the unhappy she-wolf in front of him. He would do anything to show her how beautiful she was to him in both forms. Yet he feared it might not be enough. He wanted to tell her he loved her-that he claimed her as his. Instead he mouthed her muzzle gently. Yes, I will stay with you.
Then show me this world, Micah. Convince me that I’m not a monster, that we’re not monsters who only want to rip and tear at one another and at smaller animals. Her head lifted slightly as her tail swept up from the ground. When her ears pitched forward toward him, understanding broke through his animal mind.
Olivia feared the “monster” who lived inside her because that’s how she had always seen her wolf. A monster who killed her parents, the monster who caused the Beta males to attack and hurt Gareth. A monster who craved fresh meat-that also explained why she had refused to eat meat at first.
Run with me, love, feel the joy in this form. Feel the freedom. Follow me. Micah set off at an easy trot. They circled around the other wolves to a spot high enough to overlook the Gathering. He sat and waited patiently until Olivia joined him. Look at them, Liv. They’re not monsters. They’re just wolves having fun. In their human forms they’re doctors, lawyers, waitresses, housewives, factory workers, real people. Tonight, though, tonight they’re wolves, they’re free and they’re loving the weather and the night. “And the wolf behowls the moon.”
I do love a man who knows his Shakespeare.
Micah knew she didn’t mean love the way he wanted her to but he let the words warm his soul anyway. They watched the other wolves for a few minutes, then Micah led the way around the clearing, back to one of his favorite paths. Trotting side by side, he and Olivia covered quite a bit of ground. He showed her his preferred spots along the path, where she could get a drink of fresh water from the one still-running stream because deer frequently crossed there and kept the ice from getting too thick.
For several hours they ran as wolves and Micah could feel Olivia relaxing into her form, accepting the enhanced eyesight and sense of smell. Finally she looked at him. Her teeth gleamed white as her jaw dropped open. His heart tumbled again when she gave him a wolf grin. Her voice teased him as she challenged, Race you back to the lodge.