1) Review of process of the family therapy session;
2) Getting feedback regarding the process from each member;
3) Developing and assigning homework.
This final phase is an important step in each session, whether or not the specific experience which the family members and the therapist identified in Phase I actually happened in full detail in Phase II. The fact that the family members and the therapist have been engaged in the process of working cooperatively to create something for themselves, is the foundation of every session. Again, the process is the foundation for change, not the specific content. Seen from this perspective, each interview session has a life of its own; it has a wholeness of its own. Continuity is established by developing new building blocks at each meeting of the therapist with the family.
The purpose of the therapist's actions in this, the final phase of the session, is to assist the family members in solidifying the gains which they secured for themselves in the session, in effect building a new family history, which now becomes a base for new confidence in taking risks to change and grow. Verily, family therapy occurs in the real world, with real time constraints. But, when a family therapy session is over, the family members have the opportunity to try their new wings on their own. The therapist works to create the conditions which will make it possible for the family to continue the process of change between sessions — the returning family will be different from the departing one.
Review of the Process of the Session
A family has just involved themselves in a therapeutic session whose announced purpose is to assist the family in change. As we emphasized in our presentation of Phases I and II, the key to effective intervention by the family therapist is identifying and breaking calibrated loops in the communication patterns existing among the family members — that is, supplying explicit, conscious feedback in the patterns of family communication where it no longer exists. This review has, essentially, the same elements of process, the process by which the therapist, again acting as a model of congruent communication, provides specific feedback about the session to the family members. This review of the therapeutic session by the therapist is consistent with the principle of assisting the family members in coming to understand the process by which they arrived at the place where they are now. The therapist begins his review by reminding the family members of the state which they were in when they first came to this therapy session, and then, step by step, he recounts the processes which have occurred: What happened during Phase I, the ways in which they all worked together to understand what they wanted, and then prepared to create a new experience in growth for themselves; what happened in Phase II, actions specific to the therapist and to each of the family members.
This review gives the therapist the opportunity to teach the family members his understanding of his experience in working together with them for change. He identifies the steps which he considers important in the process of family change, e.g., the identification of calibrated communication loops. He states how, in his perception of the process, the family members worked cooperatively to create new choices for themselves. He carefully enumerates the steps taken by the family in the process of gaining these new options. By this description of the process of the therapeutic session, the therapist makes explicit the tools and skills which the family needs to continue the process of growth and change which they have begun. In our experience, the most desirable outcome of a family therapy session is not simply achieving an experience which the family can use for future growth, but also is understanding that experience, and learning the specific tools which the therapist and the family members employed in the process of its creation. More desirable than just creating an experience of what they want is the explicit learning of the skills necessary to give them new ways of communicating as a family. When this last kind of learning occurs, they move to a truly open system, one which allows them to cope creatively and effectively with any disturbances which might arise, regardless of
content, a system which has, and can continue, to use effectively the patterns of coping which they, themselves, have established. The outcome which delights us the most is a family therapy session which ends with the members understanding the process which occurred in it (thereby determining the direction for continued change by identifying the next step) and explicitly learning the tools/ skills/steps in the process. Such a session affords us the opportunity provided by the experience of entering a room with closed windows, opening the windows and discovering yet another room with closed windows but also with the keys (tools) needed to enter the next one and the next one.
Getting Feedback from Family Members
Consistent with the principles of acting as a model for effective, clear communication, is the therapist's recognition that the process of feedback in an open system flows in both directions; thus, he insures that each and every family member has the opportunity to comment on his experience of the process of the therapeutic session. At the same time, of course, this checking-out with each family member allows the therapist and the other family members to comprehend the changes they have begun, to understand the way in which they can make meaning out of the process which they have been experiencing in the session, and to appreciate how they have learned the tools of the process of change. During this time, in addition to commenting on the session, the individual family members have the opportunity to ask questions to clarify portions of their experience which they do not fully understand, thus making available to them the tools which they need for further growth, and, thereby, breaking the last of their old rules. This activity also provides the therapist with a chance to help them to make sense out of their experience of the process of change in which they have involved themselves, and, further, allows him to change and to understand the new choices now available for himself. If we finish a session and have failed to learn something from it, we take it as a message that, somehow, we were out of tune with this family.
Homework
The process of change and growth for the family which begins in the therapeutic session does not stop when the session comes to an end. As the family returns to their home, the experiences which they created with the therapist in the family therapy session serve as a model for further change. One of the things which the therapist strives to accomplish in his review is to present the process of change which was begun in the session in such a way that the next step in the ongoing process is apparent; thus, the family will be conscious of how they may choose to continue their growth after the session.
We have distinguished three kinds of homework assignments which we have found useful in our family therapy work. The first assignment is for the family to set aside a specific time and place in their home wherein they can practice what we call interrupt signals. When the family leaves the therapeutic session, no matter how effective, dramatic and far-reaching are the changes which they succeeded in making, they return to an environment which is associated in their experience with the patterns of calibrated communication which they are changing. The physical surroundings, alone, are a powerful stimulus for the re-activation of the cycles which have caused them so much pain and dissatisfaction in the past. In addition to the tangible environment, the experiences associated with work and school, and the everyday activities of daily life today, conspire to activate the old destructive patterns. Interrupt signals are cues upon which the family members agree (usually selected by them just prior to ending a therapeutic session) and which any member of the family may use whenever he detects one of the patterns of calibrated communication which they have been working to change. The therapist should be alert to assist the family members in selecting appropriate signals. These cues are chosen by considering: