“Chaos,” Darius agreed. “When we were here before, and stopped at that small world, on the way to find that giant Angus, we saw devastation. We assumed it was because their despots had torn things up while being ousted. We never thought that the same would happen here. Despots and theows constantly fighting. Chaos makes everybody lose.” He squatted, dipping his hand in the cold stream and tasting the water.
Nona felt tears stinging. “I was so selfish! I just wanted to have my own adventure. I deserted my world.” She also felt physically grubby, and wished she could wash her self-condemnation out of her mind as readily as the dirt from her body.
“That’s what you thought before,” Colene said. “I’ve been thinking about that, and I think Darius is right: you had at least an even chance of getting killed, if you stayed. Then there would have been the same anarchy, and you’d have been worse off. I think you did what you had to do, bringing the anima, and then your role in the scheme of your Mode was fulfilled and you had to get away and let things work themselves out. At that point, you had earned a shot at living your own life.” She began collecting twigs for a fire. They had evidently found their camping site.
“I agree,” Darius said. “Revolution is not an easy business. The only way you could have avoided it was by not bringing the anima.” He stripped his blue tunic and stood naked, ready to wash.
“But I had to bring the anima!” Nona protested. “And now I have to help my world.” She removed her own tunic, and then the undergarments Colene had encouraged her to adopt.
“Not by getting yourself killed, you don’t!” Colene retorted. “I’m the suicidal one around here, not you.” She pulled off her tunic and underthings, joining them in nakedness. Such was their familiarity with each other now, because of experience and their constant linkage of minds, that this was routine. Nona noted peripherally that not so very long ago she would have been amazed.
“But I still wish I had your body,” Colene said, answering Nona’s thought in that disconcerting way she had.
“There is nothing wrong with yours,” Nona reminded her.
“There is nothing wrong with either body,” Darius said quickly. “Take my word.” They had to laugh as they proceeded to wash. Darius had asked Seqiro not to relay any incidental sexual thoughts he might have on such occasions, and this gave the man the illusion of indifference. Nona suspected that without that, their camaraderie would have been strained at times.
“For double sure,” Colene muttered.
Burgess had a thought. They had visited only a single hive. Was it possible that other hives were not infected?
“Yes, we need to verify the planetary situation,” Darius said. “It may be that the transition is more peaceful in other regions. We have to assess the extent of the problem before we consider any action.”
Nona knew that they were trying to make her feel better, and to dissuade her from doing something foolish. It was possible that they were right. In any event, she couldn’t do anything immediately, and she did not have the right to get her friends of the Virtual Mode in trouble on her behalf. So until it was safe for Colene to venture back onto the Virtual Mode, they should continue to look around, not revealing themselves.
So they relaxed, and retired to their tent, and Nona tried to sleep. But her mind would not shut down. “I had better stand guard,” she said abruptly, getting up and leaving the tent. Neither Darius nor Colene protested, though they already had an alarm wire strung that would alert them if any person tried to approach in the night.
She made a small illusion lamp to give her light, and walked down by the little stream. She loved her world of Oria, and hated to see it in distress. Yet she feared that the others were right: there was little if anything she could do now to ease the transition. Did that justify her desertion of her world?
Do you wish my company? It was Seqiro, reaching her with his thought, though his body was grazing elsewhere.
“I wish your company forever,” she replied. “But I fear that is not to be.”
Before I came to the Virtual Mode, I longed for the company of a girl, a human female who was bound to me by preference rather than by my control of her mind. Colene was the realization of that longing. Now I have you also.
“You have me also,” Nona agreed. “But you must return to the Virtual Mode, while I think I must remain here.”
I, too, am selfish. When I am in contact with a human mind, I can think in the human style. Colene gives me intelligence well beyond my own, and so do you. When we reach the anchor where Darius’ Mode is, Colene will go there with Darius. I could go with them, but I think they will have other concerns than horses, and it may be that my power of telepathy will not exist in that reality. Then I would be a mere animal, denied the joy of high intelligence. I would prefer to remain on the Virtual Mode, if I could be with you.
“Oh, Seqiro!” Nona cried. “I wish I could be with you!”
If you and Colene separate, I must go with her. But if I go with her, and then lose her, I will have no girl.
“I do want to be your girl,” she said, feeling the tears on her face again. “I don’t want to be queen. But I must do what I believe to be right.”
Yes, this is part of your appeal.
“Where are you, Seqiro?”
Follow my thought.
She followed his thought, and soon found him in the field. She doused her illusion lamp and put her arms up around his massive neck, hugging him as well as she could. She wept, because this was when weeping was proper.
After a bit she made her lamp again and walked back toward the tent, her mind less troubled than it had been. The she encountered Burgess. “Hello, airfoot,” she said, borrowing Colene’s idiom as she put her hand on a contact point.
Burgess was not fully comfortable on the Virtual Mode or this strange world. But as long as he remained with the hive, he could cope, and the longer he remained the better he could cope. He would feel distress if any creature of the hive were to be lost.
“Oh, Burgess,” Nona said sadly. “Are you, too, asking me to stay with the group?”
As the floater understood it, two members of the hive would be leaving it when they reached the right anchor. That would leave only three. That was too small. If Nona left it too, there would be only two, neither of whom could generate human intelligence. That would mean the end of the hive.
“Oh, Burgess, I do want to remain with the hive!” Nona said. “But I must do what I can for my world of Oria. If the hive ends, could you and Seqiro come back here?”
Burgess did not know, but it seemed doubtful, because Seqiro needed a human mind for intelligence and Burgess needed human versatility with wagons and bridges to navigate the difficult terrain.
“But if Darius and Colene left, and shut down Darius’ anchor, there would be a new person with a new anchor. Then you would have a new member for the hive.” But that seemed thin. It was not that easy for Burgess to adapt to new people, and a stranger would see him as exactly the kind of freak he pretended to be for their road show.
Yet Seqiro and Burgess could get along, if Nona were with them. Then a new hive member could be introduced by the horse’s telepathy and Nona’s intelligence. It was the nucleus that could grow a new hive from the remnant of the old.
Nona realized that Burgess’ thought was right. It could be done, if she remained with them. Her magic would also help. Darius and Colene had started the Virtual Mode, but the three of them could continue it. They could have their own adventure of exploration, discovering strange worlds and creatures. Now she knew that this was what both Seqiro and Burgess wanted.