Lola felt dizzy. This was like being cross-examined on the witness stand by a barrister a zillion times cleverer than you. In fact this might be a good moment to faint.
‘So basically,’ Doug continued, ‘you needed the money for something that meant far more to you than a Jeep. It was also something you were determined your mother was never to find out about.’ Pause. ‘Well, there was only one other person on the planet who was that important to you back then.’ Another longer pause. ‘And that was your stepfather Alex.’
Lola’s eyes filled with tears. She blinked and realised the shop was empty. No customers, no staff. Everyone had gone, miraculously disappeared. Thank God.
‘I can’t tell you.’ Helplessly she shook her head. ‘I just can’t. I made a promise.’
‘That’s OK, I’m not asking you to. No digging.’ Doug’s voice softened. ‘I know who you did it for. I don’t need to know why. I didn’t understand before, but I do now That’s enough. It’s all in the past.’
Was this how Catholics felt when they were absolved of all sin and forgiven by God? Lola, who hated crying in front of people but seemed to have been doing a lot of it lately, could feel the tears rolling faster and faster down her face. She couldn’t speak, only nod in a hopeless, all-over-the-place, nodding-doggy kind of way.
‘You know, you’ve been pretty lucky as far as fathers go. First Alex, now Nick. He’s so proud of you,’ said Doug.
For heaven’s sake, how was she supposed to stop crying if he was going to come out with stuff like this? Blindly Lola nodded again and wiped her sleeve across her wet cheeks.
‘And he certainly made me think,’ Doug went on, ‘when he told me I’d missed my chance with you.’
‘He really said that?’ Lola sniffed hard. This was the thing she’d forgotten about fathers; how much they loved to embarrass their daughters in public.
‘And the rest. As if it hasn’t been hard enough these past few months, reminding myself why I should be steering clear of you. Then along comes your father giving me all sorts of grief, then explaining to me why I should think again. That knocked me for six, I can tell you.’
As if it hadn’t been hard enough these past few months? Slowly, desperate not to be getting this wrong, Lola said, ‘So that night when you first saw me again at your mother’s house ... does that mean you didn’t hate me after all?’
‘Oh yes I did. With all my heart. Absolutely and totally.’ Doug half smiled, causing her heart to lollop. ‘But at the same time the old feelings were still there as well, refusing to go away. Like you were refusing to go away. It drove me insane having you back in my life, because I wasn’t able to control the way I felt about you. I wanted to be indifferent, to see you and feel nothing.
But I just couldn’t. It wouldn’t happen.’ He tapped his temple. ‘You were in here, whether I liked it or not.’
Lola was trembling now, almost but not quite sure that his coming here tonight was a very good thing. ‘Like a tapeworm.’ He looked amused. ‘You always did have a way with words.’
‘Oh Dougie, all this time you’ve been hating me, I’ve been trying my best to change your mind’The words came tumbling out in a rush. ‘In the end I just had to give up, told myself to stop before I made a complete prat of myself ... except I already had, over and over again ..
‘I quite enjoyed those bits. I think watching you try to play badminton was my favourite.’ He grinned, moved closer to the counter. ‘I waited in the bar afterwards, but you didn’t turn up.’
‘In case you accused me of stalking you again.’
‘I’m sorry. I haven’t behaved very well either.’ Ruefully Doug said, ‘I’ve lied to you, for a start.’
‘About what?’
‘The photos of us when we were young. Of course I kept them. They’re at home, hidden away in a cupboard,’ his eyes glinted, ‘along with my secret stash of Pot Noodles’
‘I knew it!’ Triumphantly Lola said, ‘Once a Pot Noodler, always a Pot Noodler. Did Isabel know about this?’
Ach, Isabel .. .
‘What’s wrong?’ said Doug when she winced.
‘Isabel. Your girlfriend.’
He relaxed. ‘She isn’t my girlfriend. I finished with her weeks • ago. On the night of your dinner party, in fact.’
‘What?’
‘I smuggled away the photo album. By the time I’d finished looking through the old photos of us, I realised Isabel couldn’t compete. I told her I couldn’t see her any more and she handed in her notice.’
‘Poor Isabel’ Lola did her best to sound as if she meant it. ‘I gave her a great reference. She’s working in Hong Kong now’ Dougie moved towards Lola. ‘You don’t know how close I came to ringing you that night.’
Lola remembered the wrong number and her reaction when the phone had begun to ring. ‘I wanted you to. So much. Oh Dougie ...’ It was no good; having a counter between them wasn’t helping at all. She came out from behind it and threw herself into his arms.
Oh yes, this was where she was meant to be. It was all she’d ever wanted. As he kissed her — at last — she knew everything was going to be all right.
Despite the odd potential drawback.
When he’d finished kissing her, Dougie smiled and said, ‘What are you thinking?’
‘That this is one of the happiest moments of my life.’ Lola stroked his hair. ‘And that your mother’s going to be absolutely furious when she hears about this.’
‘Don’t worry about my mother. After Dad died, she became over-protective of us. When she made you that offer she thought she was doing the right thing. But it’s OK, I’ve had a chat with her. All she wants is for me to be happy, and she accepts that now. She’ll be fine.’
God, he was a heavenly kisser; no one else even came close. And there was so much more fantastic stuff to look forward to. Double-checking that they were safely out of sight — the lights were still on in the store but from here no one walking past in the street could see them — Lola allowed her hands to start wandering in an adventurous fashion.
‘What are you doing?’
‘What I’ve been wanting to do for a long, long time.’ She smiled playfully up at him. ‘Ever got intimate in a bookshop before?’
Doug surveyed her with amusement. ‘Is that a dare? Are you trying to shock me?’
Lola gazed into his dark eyes. Then, slowly and deliberately, she reached out and unfastened his belt.
‘Shouldn’t do that,’ Dougie murmured, ‘unless you’re sure you’ve got the nerve to go through with it. From start to finish.’ He trailed an index finger down her chest until he came to the top button of her shirt. It came undone, exposing the top of her lacy lilac bra.
‘Are you calling me chicken?’ Lola retaliated by pulling his shirt out of his trousers.
‘I think you might lose your nerve.’ Deftly he undid the next button on her shirt.
Trembling now, Lola struggled with the fastening on his trousers. ‘I think you know me better than that. If I say I’m going to do something, I’ll— aaarrgh!’
‘Lola?’ The door at the back of the shop opened and Tim poked his head round. ‘Oh sorry!’ His eyes popped as he realised what he was interrupting.
‘I thought you’d all left!’ Flustered, Lola clapped both hands over her exposed bra.
‘Everyone else has. I’m just off now. I wondered if you’d made up your mind yet about coming along to the party.’ Hmm, have sex with Dougie or go to a party with Tim and Darren. That was a tricky one.
‘Um ... I don’t think so, Tim. But thanks anyway.’
‘OK? Hardly knowing where to look,Tim backed away. ‘Well, have a ... nice time.’