3rd day, Month of the Hawk, Year of the Rat
Last Year of Imperial Prince Cyron’s Court
163rd Year of the Komyr Dynasty
737th year since the Cataclysm
Jaidanxan (The Ninth Heaven)
He had the sensation that he was floating, light and ethereal, as if he had no body at all. Then he realized that he really had no physical sensation-the illusion of floating was because he felt nothing. He had no physical self; he was only being.
And this was the correct way of things.
Jorim did not will his eyes to open, but rather willed that which surrounded him into existence. Slowly it came-at first a blur of colors. He heard muted sounds and recognized them before he saw anything. They were the songs of birds he’d heard the world over, all singing in concert-though he was fairly certain the diverse species had never heard each other sing in the real world.
In the mortal world.
He acknowledged himself to be Tetcomchoa and Wentiko, as well as other names in scripts he’d never seen, comprising sounds his throat never could have produced. The moment he made that judgment, he knew it was wrong. He no longer had a throat. He was no longer a man.
He had no reason to cling to the name Jorim, but he did because it labeled his most recent existence. Those memories burned hottest in his mind. He was not through with them and felt he had left some things undone. He needed to finish them, but had a sense of grander things that also demanded his attention.
His surroundings focused loosely as if he were viewing them through a translucent silk veil. He reached out to brush it aside and instead found himself raking it to shreds with a taloned paw. He turned the paw and studied it-golden leather flesh on the inside, black scales over the back, and hard gold talons in which he caught a distorted reflection of himself.
He willed his paw into a hand and recognized it as Jorim’s hand. With it he drew aside the tattered veil and stepped through into a magnificent room. Cool white marble stretched out beneath his feet, flowing down in broad steps through a forest of columns. The steps opened onto a balcony and he flew there in an instant. The balcony overlooked a vista more beautiful than anything he had ever seen before.
The whole of the world lay as a distant carpet, green with jungle, gold with desert, and blue with water. Clouds floated above it, casting shadows and playfully shifting shapes. Above them floated small hunks of rock, which he instantly realized were not small at all, but mountains that had been ripped from the earth like teeth torn from a jaw. Jungle still clung to them, snow decorated them, and streaming water poured off to congeal below as clouds. Each one of them was the palace of a god, so there would be nine, and he stood on one of them.
They orbited in a circle much as the Zodiac girded the heavens. Below, as if it were the hub of the circle, lay the Dark Sea and beyond it Ixyll, from which he could feel a trickling thrill of wild magic. Once he had desired to go there and now, were he willing to open his mind, he could know most of its secrets. That wealth of knowledge would have been a treasure trove to him at one time, and now it seemed almost trivial-both because of the ease with which it could be gathered and the sense that whatever was happening there had little or no bearing on his existence.
He caught a light sound from behind and spun. A tiny woman stood there with arms wrapped around herself in a fleshy cloak that became a black silk robe, belted and trimmed in ivory. He did not need the flying bats embroidered on the breasts to recognize her, for he’d seen her sharp features and wide eyes on statues in temples from Helosunde to Ummummorar.
He dropped to a knee and bowed to her.
Her high-pitched, gay laughter reminded him that she was his sister the bat, goddess of Wisdom.
“Have you finally learned to respect your elders, Wentiko?”
“I have always respected you, Tsiwen.”
“So you have, little brother, so you have.” She smiled at him and he rose. “Jaidanxan has been quiet without you.”
He shook his head. “I’ve not been gone long, have I? Only twenty-three years.”
“You have been gone far longer than that.” She gestured off to the darkest of the floating palaces. “Grija was always against your decision to incarnate in mortal form. He thought you would be another disaster, so he delayed your return.”
Jorim tried to remember anything that might pertain to what she was saying, but couldn’t. “Perhaps he thwarts me still.”
“You’d not be here if he were.” She smiled carefully and came to join him at the balcony’s edge. “When you first chose to be born of a mortal, you chose a human-a bold choice. You brought them a gift of magic, and those you call the Amentzutl took to it well. You decided to share magic with others, those to whom you were born this time. You had come to love men and Grija found support among some here to visit you and offer you a bargain.”
Jorim arched an eyebrow. “He convinced me to divest myself of much of myself-my divine nature-and leave it in the land of the Amentzutl.”
“You remember.”
“No, I have just benefited from wisdom.”
Tsiwen laughed and Jorim caught fleeting memories of winging his way through the night with her in eons past. “Wisdom had eluded you when you agreed to the bargain because the portion of you that you retained had become overly human. When your body died, your spirit became his to play with, and he did. He often withheld incarnation, or let you be born into a situation where you could never find your essence again.”
“I’ve had more than one incarnation?” Jorim shivered. “And I have been gone from Jaidanxan since I was Tetcomchoa?”
“Things you will remember as you let slip your grasp on who you have been most recently.”
Jorim shook his head. “It’s not time for that yet. I have friends and family back there.”
“I know.” She gestured with a hand toward the center of the balcony and a hole opened in it. It filled with water that roiled, then cleared. “You’ll want to know how they fare.”
He approached the hole cautiously. Dread coiled in his belly, bringing with it echoes of the pain he’d felt upon death. Though many claimed the transition from life to death is painless, they are mortals who have no knowledge of it. The ripping of the spirit from the physical eclipses the most acute pain, for it is felt in the soul even more sharply than the body.
Preparing himself, he looked down. It was nighttime at Nemehyan. His body had been wrapped in a white mourning robe with the Naleni dragon embroidered on it in black. He lay atop the city’s largest pyramid and people hiked up the steps, passed by him, and down again, a long line of them. Members of the Stormwolf expedition mixed freely with the Amentzutl.
Anaeda Gryst, Nauana, and Shimik were closest to his body. The two women spoke with those who passed by. Though they wore brave expressions, he could feel their loss. Anaeda would reach out and squeeze Nauana’s shoulder or caress her hair from time to time, and that seemed enough to keep his lover from dissolving into tears.
Even so distant, he could feel Nauana’s pain. He had touched her essence, and she had touched him. The pain of separation gnawed through her, and joined with the frustration in Jorim. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but his body no longer responded to him.
I am a god. How can this be prevented?
Shimik, by way of contrast, appeared calm and even happy. The Fenn sat near his head but did not seem the least bit disturbed. He just chattered to himself as he often did, and spoke to Jorim as if he were still there. More important, the last time he’d seen Shimik, the Fenn had been white. Now his fur was darkening, and the flesh of his hands and feet was taking on a golden hue.
Shimik looked up to the heavens and smiled. He held his hands up. “Jrima, Jrima, Shimik comma.”
Nauana reached down and pulled the Fenn into her arms.