Nothing. She wouldn’t do a damn thing. Except she really wanted to. Every nerve in her body longed for touches and caresses. She was only human. And she’d completely ignored the need to be skin to skin for so long it was becoming a real problem. She craved it. She worried that if she ignored it long enough, it might go away, and she would spend her life without arms around her.
Four arms around her. Two mouths kissing her. Legs entangling.
She forced herself to stop thinking about it. She couldn’t. She needed to worry about the asshole who’d sent her a heart in a box. She’d narrowed it down to three cases. Nate and Cam were checking into it. It was weird to give up control like that.
“So how is your job going? Is it as bad as you thought?” Naomi asked.
“It’s okay.” She was a little shocked to find out that she meant that. It was kind of fun. In the week she’d spent on the job, she’d talked a woman down from a tree, overseen the installation of a new vending machine, calmed Nate down when the aforementioned vending machine stole his money, learned how to tie a fly fishing lure, and enjoyed a batch of cookies from the woman she’d previously talked down from a tree. Cassidy Meyer was a little crazy, and she’d taken to the tree when she’d learned her half-alien children were marrying a woman who didn’t like beets. After a long talk on a cell phone with a man named Leo, she’d coaxed Cassidy down. The wedding was months away. Her future daughter-in-law had plenty of time to prove her humanness.
Another wedding. She hated weddings. Even alien ones.
Naomi continued on. “Can you see yourself there long term? I mean, shouldn’t you try to find a job with a law firm? Have you thought about what you really want to do?”
Had she thought about it? Lots. She’d also thought about the fact that anyone who looked her up on the Internet would likely find the words “Midtown Meltdown” and read about how she’d been discovered by the NYPD wrestling with Christina Big Tits. Yeah, law firms across the country would go crazy over her. They might like her as a client, but not as a member of the firm. “I just want to spend time with Mom for now.”
There was a long sigh from her friend. “I know your mom is thrilled to spend time with you, but she wants you to be happy, too.”
Happiness was a chimera. It didn’t exist. Happiness was a fairy tale. She’d watched her mother and father do everything right. They had loved the people around them. They’d been the least materialistic people in the world. Being a good person hadn’t stopped cancer from striking her mother. “I’m fine, Naomi. I just need a little time.”
Yes. She needed time, not another set of problems. She wasn’t going to indulge herself. It would only bring more heartache. She didn’t really have anything to offer them. She wasn’t terrifically good at sex. She had a bad reputation around town. Jesse wanted someone polite. Cade called to her, but she knew better than to answer.
She didn’t have anything to give to a lover, much less two.
Her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number. It could be the cabin. Her mom had a cell phone, but there was also a landline in the cabin, and Gemma hadn’t put the number in her phone yet. She picked it up. “Hello.”
“Gemma? Gemma, babe, god, it’s good to hear your voice. It’s been so damn long.”
She closed her eyes. Patrick? Her whole body clenched as though she’d taken a blow to her gut. He called her the night before their almost wedding? Motherfucker. “What do you want, Pat?”
Naomi started beside her. “Patrick?”
His voice came over the phone line. “Sweetie, I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”
Did they need to talk? Really? Maybe he was moved by the fact that this should have been the night before their wedding. Did he need closure? She didn’t. Not over him. She hadn’t loved him. She hadn’t even liked him most of the time. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine, Pat. I’m fine.”
He stopped. “It’s not fine.”
She felt the beginnings of a headache. “Patrick, what’s going on? You don’t call me for six months and then you decide to get in touch the night before our wedding was supposed to happen? “
“Was that tomorrow?” He laughed a little. “Shit.”
The asshole had forgotten the wedding she’d paid for? “Good-bye, Pat. Don’t call again.”
“Don’t hang up. I can get you your job back, babe.”
She stopped. Damn it. It was the one reason he might be able to give her that was a bit compelling. The partners seemed to be blackballing her.
Her job. It had been her obsession for so long that she couldn’t flick her finger over the hang up button the way she should.
His voice came over the line, cajoling, tempting. “I can make it happen, Gemma. All you have to do is give me a little of your time. We can talk this out.”
“Fine, talk.” She wouldn’t stay. She would stay just long enough to restore her reputation and then she would find another job. And she wouldn’t have anything to do with Pat. The very idea made her a little nauseous. Especially now that she’d seen Jesse and Bare-Chested Ape Man. Cade. Cade was a man. Pat was a nice suit with overdone hair.
“Not on the phone. I want to meet with you.” He was using his flirtatious voice, a perfect example of a nasally whine.
It was deeply easy to ignore. “Not happening, Pat. I can’t come to New York.”
“It’s okay, babe. You don’t have to come to New York. I’m coming to Colorado. I’m at LaGuardia right now. I can be there by morning. Is there a Hyatt out there? Could you make me some reservations? And I need you to pick me up in Denver. How far away is this Bliss place?”
“I’m not picking you up.” She wasn’t going to drive for hours. “And it’s a long way. You should rent a car or better yet, forget it. I don’t want to see you.”
There was a long sigh. “Gemma, you know that’s not true. Babe, I am coming. I have a few things to talk about and they’re serious. But I have some personal stuff to talk about, too. I didn’t love Christina. Look, I made a terrible mistake with her, but I’m just a man. Our sex life wasn’t very satisfying. She was excellent in bed. I think we need to sit down and talk. Sex isn’t everything, right? We can get a class for you or something.”
Humiliation washed over her. “Fuck yourself, Patrick.”
She hung up the phone. He wanted something, but it wasn’t to help her out. He was playing an angle.
“Wow. That sounded rough.” Naomi shook her head. “Why would he call?”
Because he needed something and she wasn’t going to give it to him.
A throaty laugh filled the air, and she couldn’t help but turn and look their way. Jesse and Cade were laughing, talking to each other and that messenger her landlord had sent the other day. They were relaxed and happy and perfect.
She was a mess. But maybe she could have just a night. Patrick needed something from her, but she needed something he’d never been able to give her. If she hadn’t made him feel like a man, then maybe she’d never really felt like a woman. She needed to feel wanted.
One night. Was it too much to ask? She glanced back at the jukebox, its lights blinking their invitation. All she had to do was walk over to that jukebox and wait. Then she could show those two men that she could please them. She could take a little pleasure for herself.
Naomi looked back at the booth and then to Gemma. “Are you sure?”
Was she sure? Nope. Not at all. But she wanted to try.
Naomi gave her a little hug. “Go for it, sweetie. You need to stop worrying and live in the moment for a little while. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Naomi gave her a wink and left. She was on her own. And she had two men to take down.